The King of Punchlines

[MackNifiSent]

Ludacris, eminem, lloyd Banks, royce da 5 neezy

[doesnotexist]

i wasn't that impressed with Luda's made you look remix verse honestly...i remember exactly when i heard it and thinking.."cool"...but "recycled"....

but that's just my opinion..

lol me too..it was a GOOD verse..but it didnt rock my face off or anything..

the only people that have made me seriosly FLIP when hearing some lines for the first time is first big L and chino and then vakill

i remeber for the first time hearing Lyrical Jesus....wow lmao even LL was coming up to chino calling that shit fenomenal...and AT THAT TIME there definetly wasnt anyone spitting stuff like that except ras kass maybe.


fuck it, just to remind people, this was in 1995-1996

They call me lyrical...Jesus
They call me lyrical...Jesus
I'm only second to...Jesus
I'm only lyrical...Jesus

Now as I'm peeling myself down off of the crucifix
Smiling like Jesus in the den of thieves tempting bitches
Like the serpent tempted Eve
Making it rain for seven days and seven nights
Had several beats and several careers and several fights
My lyrical rites make your spine hottest
My rhymes stand out like a white boy on the Globetrotters
Only child stuck up, selfish
Buy my records and shine my shoes, treat a nigga like Elvis
Ancient, melodic, mystic messiah
Make MC's heads bob like Muhammad Ali's from Parkinson's disease
Flows you get lost in
Louder than Michael Irvin when he's snortin'
Taking a time machien to talk my mommy into giving an abortion
I don't want to hear you wack motherfuckers hating me
Niggas is Australian they're so far beneath me
Ever since Pac dissed me, Jersey tried to front on me
Now I'm so vain/vein you could probably draw blood from me
So why you doubtin?
I'm embezzling more money than Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's accountant
And spitting blood like Gene Simmons but that's irrelevant
This industry prays I go away like Arrested Development
Smilin(?) in a tenement
Now they got me on rewind to dig up a piece of my mind
But if y'all dig any deeper you might not like what you find
Pac died and I cried but I'mma represent it
When it comes to dissing my shit make Makaveli sound like Macarena
Jesus Christ superstar immunity
Got you apologizing like Marlon Brando did the whole Jewish community
Hiding like Anne Frank, your mind is stomped like I wrote Mein Kampf
Changing stone rhymes to bread with one wave of my hands
Son of God, defy me better have a whole army
Or make plans to leave America using the maps of Marcus Garvey
Back up off me, nah nigga it ain't all good
My name is offa more blocks than Lexuses is Puerto Rican neighborhoods
Make you shut the fuck up, like wifey when the fight's on
Lyrical Jesus, I got Satan sleeping with the lights on
I have existed before man and will exist after man
I am an everyman yet I am no man therefore I am a God
Sounds odd
But my talent is priceless
So I rise on the wicked and the good
And rain on the righteous and the unrighteous

Jesus
They call me lyrical...Jesus
I'm a spiritual...Jesus
I'm only second to...Jesus

Straigt up, yo Kurt drop some old school shit
Drop an old beat so we can reminsce on something check it

Rappers stepping to me...they wanna get some
But I'm XL so yo, you know the outcome
Another victory, keep that gun in your holster
My rhymes is off the wall like my Big Daddy Kane poster
I gets a lot of love the beat searchers hate it man
Come as recycled bullshit but you're leaving as a Chino fan
That's how I know I'm God; nobody believes in me
I make you wait while I stand in handicapped parking legally
Erik Estrada making chips
Handling fists to get rich
I'm going overboard like strong-willed Africans off of ships
Illest lyrics ever invented, said it, meant it
You're hearing more claps than inside a Vietnam V.D. clinic, get it?
Listen inattentive and get no wins
Don't make me get beside myself like identical twins
My cynical friends still quoting my old rhymes, my mind is a gold mine
The shit is bugged like Martin Luther King's phone lines
Closed minds mass phenomenon, starving like Ramadan
If lines was episodes of Star Trek you niggas couldn't Kling-on
Bugged out metaphor
Got east coast bitches saying "No he didn't"
While down south bitches be like "Oh no, hell no"
I made a man blind
So he didn't have to witness the wickedness of world gone cold
Falling off on stages like Bob Dole
Trying to keep my balance
Cause good and evil are having a custody battle over my soul
Like Macaulay Culkin's parents
My hair's like lamb's wool, so fuck what your friends say
You don't want to get off on the wrong foot like Kunta Kente
So now it's going down, ta-dow
Niggas better learn how to rhyme
Before they tell the lyrical Jesus he should bow down
Love your enemies, even in the lion's den
Turn them to a pillar of salt, forgive them Father they know not why they sin
Niggas coming sideways, and I've been that in the past
But now I'm half past giving a shit
And at a quarter 'til I'mma bust your fucking ass!

Just chill

They call me lyrical...Jesus
They call me lyrical...Jesus
I'm only second to...Jesus
They call me lyrical...Jesus


NOT POSTING THIS AS SOME "BEST VERSE EVER" SHIT...JUST SHOWING THE VERSES I WAS TALKING ABOUT FROM BACK THEN

so plz nobody come with the "OH OH BUT CHECK THIS ONE OUT"

[RomesBurning]

I always liked Big L, never got into Chino for the reason someone here listed - that it always seemed like his goal was to have as many punches as humanly possible per verse. I'm definitely a fan of good storylines over good punchlines though. A good storyline is much more powerful than even a bunch of good punches IMO.

[YOUTUBE]J1ChdeidHyk[/YOUTUBE]

How Many Rappers Could Do that?

[RXL]

i like this thread...a hip hop discussion on a hip hop website?

preposterous!

[Nahlidge]

"Yea I cheated first, but you cheated worse
Now I feel like kickin` you to the curb, and kickin` the whole curb off the earth"

lol. My favorite Chino line. The first time I heard that, I went nuts. The only other time a line hit me to that effect was Jay on Diamonds rmx.

"how could you falter, when you the rock of Gibraltar?
I had to get off the boat so I could walk on water"

I love shit like that.

[GT Ronic]

Copywrite- dunno if he was mentioned yet.

I'm more rugged than Fred Flinstones Big toe/
goin 80 mph on a poorly constructed brick road/


You don't want petey to flippin/
Got very little patience I'm like a PEDIATRICIAN/

im an outkast, and your girl gave me the love below

"if you a G, your as silent as the one in front of gnome"


edit://damn I didn't see anyone say copywrite...ya'll sleep.

"you wanna rip together, yall can share the same headstone"

"superfly from the booth like clark kent"

"the vets i roll with will put your doggs to sleep"

"i didnt even light this spliff yet, and already my eyes are bloodshot like a crip set"

".. and like laffy taffy, i got a joke on every rapper"

"I rock for ever, leaving your train of thought off track like an acapella"

"you never dropped science in your life, except in your freshman year"

"ya'll be faking jacks like nickelson impersonators"

"it took awhile to drop the phat shit, sorry about the weight"

edit://damn i didn't see anyone say copywrite...ya'll sleep.

[RXL]

Copywrite- dunno if he was mentioned yet.

I'm more rugged than Fred Flinstones Big toe/
goin 80 mph on a poorly constructed brick road/


You don't want petey to flippin/
Got very little patience I'm like a PEDIATRICIAN/

im an outkast, and your girl gave me the love below

"if you a G, your as silent as the one in front of gnome"


edit://damn I didn't see anyone say copywrite...ya'll sleep.

"you wanna rip together, yall can share the same headstone"

"superfly from the booth like clark kent"

"the vets i roll with will put your doggs to sleep"

"i didnt even light this spliff yet, and already my eyes are bloodshot like a crip set"

".. and like laffy taffy, i got a joke on every rapper"

"I rock for ever, leaving your train of thought off track like an acapella"

"you never dropped science in your life, except in your freshman year"

"ya'll be faking jacks like nickelson impersonators"

"it took awhile to drop the phat shit, sorry about the weight"

edit://damn i didn't see anyone say copywrite...ya'll sleep.

a lot of those are similes...


to that i refer to wordsworth

can't you say one line without the word like?..
what are you some type of Valley Girl, alright.

[SoopSa]

that outcast line was said by professor green few years back

"yeah i'm an outcast but your mother gave me the love below"

[Brother Blue Collar]

"Yea I cheated first, but you cheated worse
Now I feel like kickin` you to the curb, and kickin` the whole curb off the earth"

lol. My favorite Chino line. The first time I heard that, I went nuts. The only other time a line hit me to that effect was Jay on Diamonds rmx.

"how could you falter, when you the rock of Gibraltar?
I had to get off the boat so I could walk on water"

I love shit like that.

i remember when i started listen to chino, and that one of the first shits i burned to a cd, and my cuz hops in the car like you're listening to weird shit again then he heard that line.....and he seriously just made this face.

[doesnotexist]

[YOUTUBE]J1ChdeidHyk[/YOUTUBE]

How Many Rappers Could Do that?

lol feeble isnt exactly the most knowledgable hip-hop guy....he cant be blamed for not knowing most chino songs...

[GT Ronic]

more copywrite--

"Shyne behind bars like Jamal Barrow"

I'm like a med school scholarship/
cuz For free, I'll change a lame virgin to a brain surgeon/

[Mighty King Esca]

biggie smalls

[Mode Silver]

Copywrite- dunno if he was mentioned yet.

I'm more rugged than Fred Flinstones Big toe/
goin 80 mph on a poorly constructed brick road/


You don't want petey to flippin/
Got very little patience I'm like a PEDIATRICIAN/

im an outkast, and your girl gave me the love below

"if you a G, your as silent as the one in front of gnome"


edit://damn I didn't see anyone say copywrite...ya'll sleep.

"you wanna rip together, yall can share the same headstone"

"superfly from the booth like clark kent"

"the vets i roll with will put your doggs to sleep"

"i didnt even light this spliff yet, and already my eyes are bloodshot like a crip set"

".. and like laffy taffy, i got a joke on every rapper"

"I rock for ever, leaving your train of thought off track like an acapella"

"you never dropped science in your life, except in your freshman year"

"ya'll be faking jacks like nickelson impersonators"

"it took awhile to drop the phat shit, sorry about the weight"

edit://damn i didn't see anyone say copywrite...ya'll sleep.

i think that's kingDom's line. not copy's.

and yeah copywrite has the sickest punchlines i've ever heard. i'd put em up there with big L in terms of punchlines. here's one for ya...

"you bare no arms, therefore can't clap"

[Baxter D. Wall]

It's Chino XL in terms of punchlines.


If you disagree you either don't know Chino or know some God that i've never heard of before.

[Brandon Cee]

Jesus Christ...duh Bax.

Chino XL easily!