A Disciple's Thread

[NoNun2]

FIREE… can you make an album out of all these songs? We don’t have CDs anymore idk how to get them all in a row while I’m driving… when you coming to get us pac? It was funny - yeah- I’m a ghost!!!! THANK YOU FOR BEING MY ANGEL PAC… BIG you too

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Where’s Jicera?

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I’ll do it for her and shadow and my mom and my hellmate

[NoNun2]

Got more evidence against psych… can you please tell them I want $500k in my account by Tuesday and that’s just to hold us over until mediation - I have more proof

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A dr a psych I never even met lying about my medical and obgyn records… I want to know how he got the records but the dates are all wrong. They even said I had imporefa when it was chicken pox

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Trying to shame and degrade me even more

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On my ig who scared cla919 no spaces

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Nah i have zero faith that they will and finally end this for me… I didn’t and I don’t deserve it especially the extra

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Anybody a lawyer?

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My brother thinks we have to pay one but I doubt it with the check we gonna get

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Then we can finally get to my real skills and purpose and being paid for doing something that I love again

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All I want is to be happy

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They keep me extra broke and sick

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Tired program but nah I don’t to it working out, they already added 3 more meds j a week that makes 6 now and don’t give a fuck u already have tardive dyskonesja

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2 more meds*

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I have tardive dyskonesia*

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Nah I’m tired of trusting them

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Don’t know what to do cause without my meds I’m fucked

[NoNun2]

50, Nicki… I don’t even know who I am anymore 😭

[NoNun2]

203

[NoNun2]

I snapped cause I didn’t believe shit like that was possible

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I snapped because I ain’t betray a friend a day in my life

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I snapped cause everybody was watching when I really couldn’t help myself or control the outbursts

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I snapped at the nick name Mary cause I made my confirmation on furlough pregnant

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And then I finally snapped when I realized he could really be dead

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I just snapped

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It was like losing everything and my family twice

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I’m so tired of everyone telling me what to do

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I DONT WANT TO

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Yeah I relapsed… and realized they did it on purpose… when are THEY going to realize I truly am mentally ill and AM going to fall everytime - when do they stop though? I’m a human not a toy or science project!

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When he said that about my angel… i said you never know when it’s going to be the last time (ie seeing someone) we done way too much praying for him to receive that response

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He said I’m not gonna make it either… I promised to never talk shit about him but he promised friends first and he’d never betray me… I feel like he did too

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Because my old friends and the decoy they put in… they won’t stop or leave me alone. I know he’s a fraud I been known they intentionally tried to set me up with him and I been known it was fake… was just trying to figure out why! But his dad the police, his other brother the feds and like it was months after pac died - look at what happened to me - DID they kill pac?

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Biggie call me Mae cause I am mad naive but even he know… if you don’t act like that you don’t expect that… who the fuck pretends to be someone’s friend and then lies to me about who she was sleeeping with too… who does that and why?

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Nah I’m not petty over guys but was laughing my ass of like whoa you slept with all the people you slept with and then all the people I slept with on top of that too?!? LMFAO cause I was no angel either ��

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I don’t do anal… is that why I was sodomized so much? To catch up?

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I love my hellmate - he just loves his bitches more

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You don’t have to make me sick when you want time with them… Losing respect fast

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Because they pulled us over and he was at CS window and then said oh oh ohhhh and came to mine - he’s an airhead and can’t act

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And a dope feen on top of it too

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Because I don’t drive hoop ds until my cars got repoed 2 in one year one of them twice… so like last he knew I’m in NC but I’m driving on the highway in a hoop d ain’t sense him in 5 years in a town I’m not even from and he call like he recognized me on the highway… FOH just had to see what it was about

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And no I wasn’t sleeping with him either

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Not since WAY back in the day

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And public service announcement… I only survived cause of CONDOMS until I was trying to get pregnant

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These girls at school was checking ovulation calendars and plan b etc… nah condoms… what’s the point of not using them if you’re not trying to get pregnant?

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It’s mostly why I don’t have kids

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CONDOMS

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The funny part the few times I didn’t use them I got chamydia trying to get pregnant LMFAO like literally the one time I didn’t type shit just to remind me again CONDOMS

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There’s too much shit out there you can’t get rid of

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I’m sticking with both but rambling and vs ting is what I like to do and they trying to defer and deter me of that

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Venting*

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Hero by Mariah remind me of him… and easy on me by Adele makes me think he’s still writing as a ghost too

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I didn’t look 13 even the Bar tender was serving me and I’m not sure what he said but I heard it as I was molested as kid and went back to molestation… you stupid sick socio bitch… no YOU were molested as a child and just assumed I was too. I lied about my age, it was a different day and 13 and 19 wasn’t that twisted back then. NOW it is I get it cause kids are less mature and even look younger but whoa… if that’s not deflecting your issues on me idk what is

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My dad was my boy and we told each other EVERYTHING except why he chose to drink himself to death

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My pop pips friend was twisted

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Just mad I’m not a vampire like they implied and can’t save J ��

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Nah my bf/hellmate talking about im righteous im mother Theresa or act like it… nah fuck you… how he gonna say that cause I don’t act like that… do I try my best not to sin YES but I’m going to hell right with you all WTF

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Just got a memory on fb… it seems that during the worst of times you get these best of times like a split second moment… I had my father and Mika and my ghosts and shadows to get me thru

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To be honest in the pic I look like I can have Jamaican blood in me and when other people see my Angels they’ve assumed Haitian… I’m leaning more towards I have Jamaican angels by my real life angels for facts

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I thought it was 50… he had Jamaica vacation posted until I realized them sick twisted mother fuckers weren’t 50 and just like myrtle beach tried to blame and put it all on him again

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It scares me cause I know I’m reelest Killaz and pac and my dad dead just like worry about 50 all the time too

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Why they always trying to make me hate him?

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That’s why they can tap and tug my heart and shit? It’s really in my blood?

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It was like 7:30am and it felt like someone had a string on my heart tugging hard it woke me up and I said ow and it stoped but it pretty much been twisted and sick ever since… I lost trust in the dr that used to calm me down counting rib taps

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They have more than one Dr on me

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And they’re fucking twisted beyond comprehension - I think it’s a woman one too

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Which Dr was the potato?

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One tap too light one a little firmer but I do prefer eye ti eye to choose cause I was tortured for real

[NoNun2]

My moms mad I didn’t go to school today… Saturdays used to be my favorite day but now I don’t like them anymore

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I’m praying to make up hours

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When I was assaulted in mb she drove me by a huge 50’sign in his logo - I asked her if that said 50 and she said idk I didn’t see

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Because 50 can help me and check them

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But how they know that?

[NoNun2]

It feels like they are literally in my body ��

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It’s gross they not clean

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I get it… they trapped my religion and won’t let me free

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When they were torturing me they painted my stairs red with blood and put feathers around my bed mocking my religion too. I’m Catholic and voodoo is my sister religion - not witches

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After the assault in mb they tied a snake in my rice

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I do kinda trust that though but why I had to feel the pops

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They tied my heart when 50 posted he was in Jamaica so u trusted it was him and pac IT DEF WAS NOT HIM AND PAC

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I was a ballerina in private class and at the centre - my belly not like
That cause I was fat!!!!

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I know I was pregnant just don’t understand why my family says no

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I remember split seconds now since I was shot

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Pac why you so hard on yourself like you believe them?

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[NoNun2]

How is humiliating and degrading patients a form of therapy?

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I’m in dual diagnosis intensive out patient program and some psych I never even met had my obgyn records posted and I’m just trying to find out who he is and why

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On my intake form

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The dates were wrong too…

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I’m a stay with therapy cause with the right drs it used to work

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And unfortunately that’s the breaks of being mentally ill… I HAVE TO

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I fucking have to