Yes cause he said like i taught him after we first kissed… and I remember you teaching me. Sooo I’m not sure what to who or which but… I’m staying right here. He said I had nightmare last night and grabbed him hard and when he said it’s ok he said I was so peaceful sleeping finally that he wish he took a picture. I love him to death but let’s face facts… nothing about this situation is going to be easy. I’m mad cause someone I considered my friend told him I like to get high and fuck but my other friend his other right hand man defended me and even said she finally found the right man. My dating history is EXHAUSTING but I don’t trick!!!! It hurt me he would even think that… And only 6-7 months in… I’m not even trying to think that far ahead. I’m sitting right here for now…
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When he said he met me sitting on my friends bed… I remember a bed room looking out into the living room sitting on the bed a split second… at his babies moms house. I didn’t remember it was him her babies dad. It’s all related you know? And from what I wrote in Hail Mary… it was him I was toe to toe with when I wrote that… and when I said in 2018 he’d be breathing again in ready or not and bowing… not a bow to evil or even groupie or… just somewhere inside I knew when he got out I’d be safe again… but that wasn’t until 2021… they gave him 3 extra years as a result of serving for so long. And we were literally babies when he went in just 18 and like I’m so proud of the man he has grown into and become… no lie
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I left him in there when he got denied parole because I wanted to have a baby and they gave him 3 more years and at that point my biological clock would’ve run out but I didn’t find a babies dad anyway… you know? I feel like that bitch especially now that another woman put in my place better than I can do it right now… so everything I’m dealing with is pretty much my own fault…
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And if you knew how often I usually do the right thing… like any time I don’t on a flip come back to bite harder than it should… I feel like god and my shadows can be TOO hard on me…
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So every night I have to face the nightmares alone is my own fault and I accept that
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I actually was 17 I think when he went in but you know what… he didn’t snitch and was given extra on that too and it makes me even more proud of the man he was even then… don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time and he was built by that too…
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And didn’t drag everyone else down with him… even when he was charged on some extra
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Some of the spirits and walking around the times I get sick or when I was younger and wouldn’t… it all came down to this! I had warnings and help and angels and even the ones that didn’t like me…
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My ex gave me the down payment for my brand new suv back then… and a man had me choosing and sponsors and spirits and… to the writer and spirit or ghost writer - spoon - like… it’s all falling into place but he still shy to tell me some things
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Why I can’t post videos again?
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Nah cause like even when Jamie died… she was dissing me and dissing me and avoiding me then her and so and so break up and she wanna be my best friend… so one day I didn’t feel like going for pedicures and cancelled sticking up for myself and the next day she died… like if I try to be less passive I get served harsh too
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I was having sex one night and whispered nothing to someone… and then I was having sex and asked why I can’t make love… later that night someone touched my hand and I heard I’ll show you…
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I don’t know what to think… baby steps and one day at a time
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I’m so grateful to have his left as a true friend to defend me… the otherside… wow… ok… WOW