User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Demon Within Flesh (Hatefully True)

  1. #1

    Demon Within Flesh (Hatefully True)

    I try to rap but in the end Its always crap,
    Sweat coming down my temples,
    Blood raining down to my nipples,
    Out of breathe and feel like a cripple,
    Theirs a demon within me that needs to be free,
    It is time to break it from its eternal cage,
    Feel its rage as I set him on a wicked conquest,

    Armadyl i say your name once so you can hear my plea,
    Armadyl i say your name twice to set you free,
    Armadyl I say your name the final time for you to enter this plane,
    Armadyl as your master begin the dis against these humans whom are lame,

    I am a Lord of the Abyss,
    Living in the Abyss is like living in a ditch,
    Surrounded by the damned and true evil,
    Worse then Hitler hunting a Jew in his prime,
    I hate everybody equally and while were in the loop,
    I dropped a dime! come get it penny pincher oops,
    As for the whites sitting down eating food on the couch,
    Getting diabetes and living like a fucking vegetable,
    Make something with your life instead of having tantrums,
    Europeans are impure as gold first mined,
    Needs to be burned until they are pure, which takes time,
    Humanity is a plaque and nothing but blasphemy,
    When this world comes to an end,
    Thats when humans will finally understand,
    Changes need to be made and that they need to be good rather then all this hate,
    Instead just sit their with that stupid look on your face,
    I can't rap but im a god of imagery,
    While you sit here and contemplate, my demon and I will sit on our throne once again.

    Repent Armadyl come back into my soul and live among me,
    Lets teach this world some things,
    Haters gonna hate just sit back and masturbate.
    Last edited by DeathTheHorsemen; November 5th, 2014 at 09:49 AM

  2. #2
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Posts
    21,710
    Battle Record
    124-23
    Awards 100+ Wins OM HOF SOTW
    ATTENTION @DeathTheHorsemen,

    This automated notification is a friendly reminder for you to provide (2) links to other member submissions that you left adequate feedback to. If you have already posted your links, disregard this notification.


    Add & Follow

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    ·
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  3. #3
    Cunnilingus Oxymoron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    New Zealand
    Age
    34
    Posts
    18,850
    Battle Record
    57-8
    Awards Karaoke Champion 50+ Wins SOTW

    Re: Demon Within Flesh (Hatefully True)

    lol okay dude you need to drop links but ima give you some feed.

    First off. i have no clue what Armadyl is. aaand google tells me it is runescape. Lol. All good. I actually had fun playing that game when it first came out, never heard of that item or whatever tho, blue shit was the best. anyway. the writing.


    I try to rap but in the end Its always crap,
    a bit predictable start dont ya tink? I mean content wise and the rhyme you chose. Not very creative thus far.

    Sweat coming down my temples,
    Blood raining down to my nipples,
    Lol okay i like this more. alhough the rhyme is non existant. not a bad image. although dont know where the blood is coming from.

    Out of breathe and feel like a cripple,
    i feel like someone listens to eminem lol. But cripple. lol I like that word.

    Theirs a demon within me that needs to be free,
    It is time to break it from its eternal cage,
    Feel its rage as I set him on a wicked conquest,
    I dont know if you are trying to rhyme ot not. cause I cant see it. cage and rage i like those last two lines though.

    Armadyl i say your name once so you can hear my plea,
    Armadyl i say your name twice to set you free,
    Armadyl I say your name the final time for you to enter this plane,
    Armadyl as your master begin the dis against these humans whom are lame,
    rhyming is a little predicaable. but its ok i like the concept. Calling out the deamon withen.

    I am a Lord of the Abyss,
    Living in the Abyss is like living in a ditch,
    abyss twice in two lines. hmh could work. doesnt work here for me. and the ditch rhyme is a little underwhelming. But i see what youre trying to do, its just ditches arent that deep. So if you wanted it to seem shallow, all good i suppose.

    Surrounded by the damned and true evil,
    Worse then Hitler hunting a Jew in his prime,
    okay, you could probably be more creative with your sicko choice. i dont like this line much, also still missing the rhymes lol. but no biggie.
    I hate everybody equally and while were in the loop,
    I dropped a dime! come get it penny pincher oops,
    in the loop. I like that term. this line was okay but im confised if youre the penny pincher or someone else came along. the oops whyme is a little eh lol.

    As for the whites sitting down eating food on the couch,
    Getting diabetes and living like a fucking vegetable,
    Make something with your life instead of having tantrums,
    lol, yep but every nation has lazy people so dont need to blame the whites lol but sure. also, rhymes. um couch almost rhymes with veggies.
    Europeans are impure as gold first mined,
    Needs to be burned until they are pure, which takes time,
    concept is a little forced liked where it was going, died with the pure and which takes time bit.


    Humanity is a plaque and nothing but blasphemy,
    yeah that works. i like the idea. I dont know about the word blasphemy being there, but if youre slandering christians. cool.

    When this world comes to an end,
    Thats when humans will finally understand,
    Changes need to be made and that they need to be good rather then all this hate,
    Instead just sit their with that stupid look on your face,
    YEah i would agree with that. when change has been decided its too lae. But all down to semantics in the end. Last line is a little tacked on, maybe its missing a you after the instead

    I can't rap but im a god of imagery,
    While you sit here and contemplate, my demon and I will sit on our throne once again.
    hmm youre tacking your character onto your demons character. I feel this is slightly out of place. But maybe youre letting us you know youre in control of your own demons. either way. I dont think it needed to be in there. But the last line was all good.

    Repent Armadyl come back into my soul and live among me,
    Lets teach this world some things,
    Haters gonna hate just sit back and masturbate.
    other than the last line, lol. which could have worked, But feels tacked on. I like this little closing statment.

    mainly you got the images, you really need to work on rhyming, i mean, single syllable rhymes are fine. but i wasnt liking yours. keep at it man.

    and feed some other people. They will be more likly to feed you back.
    MoistPuss'
    Smoother than smooth

    You know. You know. Cause when you know, you know. You Know.

    The mind without a brain
    \i/

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •