Fear is fifty percent of my thought process..
..though I act hard
Proof of nothing but lost progress..
..from his track marks
My heroine is hooked on heroin..
..just part of his high start
And no broken soul could compare to..
..the scars in my heart
Today arrives another day of lies and fear
My mother's eyes are filled with sighs due to his cheap highs and beer
Silent tears from violent years of drug abuse can't be contended
It's been five years as life nears closer to a time of the dreaded
Left unattended, the events in which will take place are unknown
He endures thoughts to atone his actions that distractions post pone
Manipulation so blown out of proportion his sort is so zoned
Plus the high has grown so tall that his actions are sort of condoned
Should he crash a car or crash a bar, the certainty is a mystery
He's in his own world, with no care, plus he's forgotten his history
Pop a pill, stop and spill out the cocaine, get wreckless and spent
Because if he wants a thrill from a drug then he'll go to any extent
Spoiled him from the get go, his parents were royal for just giving
Yet he'll steal cash from mother's purse while she cleans toilets for a living
The drugs have a death grip, a vice you can hardly escape
When using a conscious conscience is rarely formed or seen shaped
He can't be great if he can't see straight, college seemed a waste
4.0, graduated with honors only to disappear without a trace
Obtained the habit in school, a bright pupil until it worsened
He went from straight A's to using them to become another person
One of the most intelligent & benevolent guys who never meant
To fall under a circumstance so prevalent that we'll need something heaven sent
He needs a second chance except he's yet to express true remorse
He'll just snort a blue, or two, and his voice'll grow deeply coarse
You see it gets hoarse, because the pill depresses his breathing
Although he thinks he's deceiving us, his breathing patterns progress to heaving
That's the sound when we all become an aid, afraid of what's to come
Because abusing drugs is just a process where all your days of living comes to one
It make us numb, the signs that have been placed before his eyes
All the galore of lies couldn't hide our support and he knows this yet he stores his cries
One day we get a call from a local gas station, i felt as cold as a ghost
And low and behold, the attendant found my brother on the floor overdosed
All of our daily fears collide into one nightmare of a moment
It was only a matter of time before he got hooked onto a drug so potent
He's rushed to the hospital, I can't even go, I couldn't stand the sight
Drugs literally had a death grip on my brother so I couldn't hold his hand that night
He dodged death, and his thought process changed for a time
He texted me from the ER expressing how he wanted to make the climb
He wanted to quit the life he was leading, look towards something better
Then apologized to me for letting us down, I even saved the letter
I prayed daily and nightly, that he'd resist any temptation
But without the proper assistance drugs can break any focus or concentration
Months go by, he's using here and there, not quite as frequent
But still to the point he'd receive his paycheck on Friday, and on Satuday be spent
I lent him money weekly, thousands of dollars on lunch for my brother
Only to find out a year later that he was receiving lunch money from my mother
Manipulating anyone he can to get some cash, a fiend in need of a cure
My parents & my family couldn't be unsure, that eventually he'd be obscure
If it wasn't drugs, it was alternatives, alcohol in excess
He was at the beach one day drinking all day which came another consequence
He was too drunk to drive, but his girlfriend threw him the keys
Got all the way to our neighborhood but couldn't dodge the trees
Yet again he cheated death, and even a DUI wasn't appointed
And although he totalled the car, he kept drinking that night and seemed to enjoy it
A few months later, it's getting worse, he's not just snorting pills
He's shooting up anything he can find, soaring high and ignoring bills
On a daily basis me and my mom fear what may happen, yet we can't stop it
He's so negligent and wreckless that we'd find syringes in his pants' pockets
He's in his twenties living at home, my mother won't turn her back on him
We've turned to doctors and rehab & explained the effects that it had on him
Nobody has a clear answer, and the solutions are in well doubt
Because the only rehab they can admit him to is one where he can check himself out
Three in the morning, I hear a strange breath by the bathroom door
I call his name and get no answer, I just know his backs to the floor
I knock and I scream his name, I'm in fear of an ugly death
And still I get no answer, all I hear is a struggling breath
I yell for my mom, she already knows. I could never be misconstrued
I kick down the door, he's layin unconscious with a broken syringe & some blues
My mother's distraught, her scream still pierces my right ear drum
I'm trying to keep everybody calm, I know he's got a pulse though I can't hear one
So here I am, i'm shaking in fear & left with no breath
Standing there as witness to my own brother and mother's slow death
I do what I can to keep in piece, I kept from breaking down in two
Thank God my brother made it through that night, and my mother did too
My brother was kidnapped by drugs, & I hate to say here
That my family and I still live an everlasting, day to day fear
Fear is fifty percent of my thought process..
..though I act hard
Proof of nothing but lost progress..
..from his track marks
My heroine is hooked on heroin..
..just part of his high start
And no broken soul could compare to..
..the scars in my heart
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by berrys
