Between You and I

[Genocide]

grrrrrrrr.. cant stand it sometimes.. these thoughts just haunt me man. its harsh in the world of my own imagination/reality..

check it.
pride and paranoia, the pair that has imprisoned my soul
praying for sanity, prepared to find a different approach
i live in this globe, apparently designed by my demons
so this air that i breath, is just another sign of my weakness
I'm trying to beat this, repetitious pattern i weave
my original sins, the self inflicted habits of greed
i subsequently have to proceed, past the point of return
I'm to clean, to relapse against my poisonous germs
the voice of concern, is all the hell i hear when you speak
call me possessed when ..the only evil in this mirror is me
but appearance deceives, intervenes when the truth is defined
and the lies, are what produces lines between you and I
I used to try, and always wanted what i hated to be
my love is my life, why did you have to take it from me...?
..................................and why did you leave..


Adolf S.



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...431/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...466/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...442/index.html

[jcsm90]

REAL SHIT BRO..i can relate to that alot

[Genocide]

lol @ 31 views and 1 response. this place aint changed a bit man

[SCK]

10/10 that was fucking brilliant, great flowww, great subject matter keep dropping and return the feed

[Mr. Black]

maybe a bit brief for me.. but what was here was definite quality introspection

i didnt really feel your lil intro.. or w/e .. the "grrrrrrr" kinda started the verse off awkwardly imo, set a strange tone .. so did the rest ..

anyway, verse was pretty dope. technically

despite however personal this may have been .. the subject matter started sounding a little dreary at times .. there were portions that i wish you had directed a little more cohesively .. maybe some sort of idea that takes us beyond the surface - we know from the getgo, it's a journey inside the mind - at times it felt like a rehabilitation and at times a revelation, and at the end a cry for lost love. maybe all three worked with eachother to form your thought process -

pride and paranoia. interesting areas to start with - you gave me 2 empty rooms here, and i felt you left them both empty. skins without a meaty carcass. this was my main concern with the content itself, is that it sort of stayed at the surface for me. it touched on a lot of different feelings, but didnt necessarily explore any one of them as deeply as i think you could have with a longer piece. you're not restricted to 16 bars in a verse, so whats the point

then again i took this at first glance as some kind of venting piece .. in which case the length and depth of any given emotion could be beside the point all together.. but this is just my take on it

in terms of flow, rhythm, scheme and basic mechanics you were real clean and consistent. had me me vibing along with it.. good shit

i subsequently have to proceed, past the point of return
I'm to clean, to relapse against my poisonous germs

dope.. even though i dont think subsequently quite fit in there, i still really liked this part

so where you been at man?

keep doin it

1

[Skepto]

I agree with Black it seemed like you were swayin in and out of your subject although breifly im sure it was not on purpose i definatly thought this was full of a good idea but it was like you started it in this mind state and then tried to make it something it wasnt supposed to be from the beginning ya know?

any way 7/10

[Genocide]

werd, finally some goodfeedback. good point black. preciate it

[Euphoric]

this was pretty good as i thought you had good depth and flow. but i thought that with all the emotion you seemed to put into it, you probably could have continued going with it; expanded a little? like the ending seemed somewhat abrupt; you went just "....why did you leave?" but the whole concept of love and such, i felt that you could've dug a little more into. but other than that i thought it was a pretty good read. keep it up.

[Wise Ways]

i subsequently have to proceed, past the point of return
I'm to clean, to relapse against my poisonous germs
the voice of concern, is all the hell i hear when you speak
call me possessed when ..the only evil in this mirror is me

^Favorite part..

I enjoyed this piece for what it was.. good flow to it.. nice content.. overall a good read, keep ya head up kid.

[Iglosone]

yeah, In glad to see this getting some props over hear.. the mirror line was really nice to me

hit me up for a collab or something