Confused About Change

[KnowP]

Confused About Change

Another day, another appointment, this is never easy
Life wasn’t supposed to be these hard, who can please me
Find your inner peace B, go out and have some liquor
Find a chandelier and go buck wild on the fixture
Don’t worry about your sister, she’ll know its for the best
And your mother and father, don’t wanna hear about the test
Its up to you to see whats next, move quick into your future
Trade them brand new Nikes in, and get heels and a new fur
No one has to wake up next to but you yourself
And them meds you take are for a reason on the shelf
You was a nobody to begin with, lonely nights were endless
Porn sites and strip shows were your only friendships
Baseball, football, soccer, your coordination wasn’t built for those
Never in the circle of jocks, only gossipers and hoes
If you cant beat em, join em, and shop for some new clothes
So get the plastic surgery, you know how the story goes


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...669/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...724/index.html

[KnowP]

upp

[AlphaMetric]

this wasn't bad mad... it was a bit short tho..... I think you had some decent emotion in there... wasn't over complex on the vocab and I think it suited this type of piece.... story wise, I think it was a bit short for that and more of like a topic type thing and you did good.... anyways, keep up...

[Adrenalyn]

Thats BS i post a long ass return feed to this an my fone died gota do it ovr
nice post a bit hard 4 me to follow at a coupl o spots (mite wanna reread it) nice theme btt i think it endd to fast try to go on past the plastic sugery how evrything circles back around in the end
give it a 6 not bad jst work on it more
keep writin

[Trigga__Frenzy]

i liked this piece but like everyone else if u made it longer it would b a even nicer piece but u did ur thing jus keep rappin wit confidence and that alone will take u along way jus look at everybodies pieces take a thing or 2 from everyone u like and spin it into ur own lil technique and keep on elevating

[KnowP]

thanks peoples for the feed back...next time i will make sure
it gets the length it deserves like GOWs mom...lol

jk my nig...but word up tho, good looks everyone

[Tragedian.]

Was simple but decent. I'm gonna guess you weren't aiming for much. but the flow was catchy along with a couple lines I could relate too personally, you did quite good for something so simple.. not much advice to give you as I haven't seen much from you. With the topic you probably should have been into depth a bit more and would have been alot better, I woulda read more personally, decent stuff man.

[KnowP]

thanks for all the feed everyone... preciate the honesty

drop links too...

[SickAzSilence]

this was short but sweet...made me laugh...funny content which is a plus along with a good flow...I'd like to see one of your topical writtens I'll be on the lookout for your newest...check out my latest: Two Halves Make Us Whole when u get a chance i'd like to hear your take on it...One

Favorite Lines:
Find your inner peace B, go out and have some liquor
Find a chandelier and go buck wild on the fixture
(lol)
Its up to you to see whats next, move quick into your future
Trade them brand new Nikes in, and get heels and a new fur
No one has to wake up next to but you yourself
And them meds you take are for a reason on the shelf
(lmao good shit man I'm diggin your style)

[KnowP]

preciate it fam... make sure yall drop links and i'll rtf

[Dex'Labb]

Do yourself a favour and stop using commas. (,) <--- This. Your writing is too spaced out, it's like somebody with amnesia is trying to recall a story of their life. The theme of this is good to build upon. But take a look at mainstream artists today, there is no pause in the middle of their lines. Other then that, try to be more creative in your own way. Like the fixture line, that had potential. Keep writing....study other successful artists lyrics and how they structure their verses.