Love Tap

[MoMaui]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...353/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...350/index.html

Love Tap

the desert laid out barren
sweeping plains, humble dunes
oasis void a lifeless surface
tranquility disturbed unjust
the desert quakes, waiting new birth

the spring long forgotten
slumbering giant, pulsing life
oppertunity forced from underground
polluted sands assulted
the spring erupts, metamorphosis of essence

the river cuts a path
snaking passages, halted flow
sunlight rouge and moonlight noir
intoxicated running restless
the river exausted, a pooling source

the man arrives heralding healing
mutates nature, Bridging banks
more recieved than ever given
pristine vitality impartial
the man leaves, laborious works entrenched

the desert barren now scared
contorted lines, conspiring ridges
refigured landscape no longer void
hostile confidence shattered
the desert shudders, forever unhealed

[MoMaui]

first piece of work in PS, uppin' for comments and critisism please

[artisan.]

I don't intend to offend...

for me, this was vague. Chalk full of images and fancy words but thats all...i didnt get anything from the piece...a man built a bridge and that is bad for the desert? there is no passion

[MoMaui]

uppin for more critisism