a silent scream

[prophiit]

silently i suffer and rest
jest not lest you feel the need to meet the best
slowly slaughtered by pests
infest the nest in hopes to slay the demon then digest
but i digress
for the evil in men is set not unto the world by demons
but by men
who fear what they see and hate what they do not know
i weep for those
these tears need not spill for the death of the many
nor of the few
but fall in chaotic motion as often and as subtle
as early morning dew
chosen not by fate but by those who wish to take this mind away to rape
my lyrical innocence is at stake
underrated overstated afflicted affliction of my addiction
pride conflicted with simple fiction tenderly ticking away this tension
i pause to mention
that ever since the prophecies were written
no one cares to even listen

[Sampson]

Jebus.

[Varentao]

Either you're talking about Nostradamus or the Mary prophecies.

Or you're own ones. i.e. you're work as a writer/emcee.

Imagery held well. It wasn't there in abundance, but more so in the background. Nice use of vocabulary. And some very well constructed lines. Like the morning dew one.

I liked. To me it depicted the anguish of a struggling artist. Who is trying to get his word across. But it falls on deaf ears. He/she then resorts to a 'desperate scream, yet of course, that also falls upon deaf ears. Therefore, it becomes a silent scream. This is your silent scream.

..resp..

[sILLable]

this was ill,it could of been a little bit longer but still ill,it rhymed together well,and tha plot was amazin,amd props kid.~1~

[THE DALABIL]

Yo...this was tight!!
the picture came across and the word usage was nice...gotta go with mamansandem bout it being longer...but take that as a compliment....

YOU GOTEM WANT'N MORE HOMIE!!

Keep doing whatchudo..

Out

[Calisto]

Wasup? Is this my boi from Uf...? (The Misses here)
Anyways, to the poem:

Wonderful vocabulary, the rhyming kept this peice flowing beautifully and shows of a very talented writter. I was amazed at what Var got outta this, he's soo deep ::dreamy eyes:: jk. If that was is then wow, you get some dreamy eyes too! But back to seriousness: I felt like the alliteration did a lot for this peice, even if it wasn't deliberate, which I doubt because you seem to be very skilled. My favorite line in this peice was
"for the evil in men is set not unto the world by demons
but by men"
This was a thinking peice and I loved every word... I'll make it a point to start checkin out ya peices more often, because you are truely gifted bud... peace

[Content]

underrated overstated afflicted affliction of my addiction
pride conflicted with simple fiction tenderly ticking away this tension....i pause to mention

~great vocab and elements of a spoken wordish piece...~
~the pause as your reading it makes you feel like your~
~there listening..which makes you stand out like a comedian~
~recieing his first laugh..catching the crowd..well done~

~Content~

[prophiit]

Thanks to anyone who gave feedback and i'll try to respond to all the new stuff. This is greatly appreciated by me and so much better than open mic i am grateful for so much support. 1

[Northern Touch.]

I actually like this piece but it does sound like something Nostradamus said but I am 100% plus this is all Prophiit original work... Anyways your Multi's were really good But I think you could improve a little on the flow but not too much cause then I think it would be a freestyle and not poem...
ANyways remmeber there is nothing written for poetry it can be written or spoken in any shape or form...

GOod Job man great piece