First one...be nice

[THE DALABIL]

The myth to what we call reality/fact checking and your locality/
stations haunting/folks front'n/always telling sum'n - got us drunken/nectar sweet going down, but in the belly its bitter/it'll make you take your wife and hit her - thinking ill thoughts like dime dropping makes you a sinner!/
COME TO THE DINNER!!!!
eat your fill/start with time to kill/and you'll find out and know the deal/
IT'S STILL REAL!!!
Everyword was for everyone from neckties to grills
Managers to mailroom, post bail/cause sewn inside of you is a story to sell/epic proportions of finances from fail/judgements or jail/this is the last dawn yawn before hearing the graduation yell/
YOU GOTTA DROP YOURSELF DOWN IF YOU WANNA RAISE HELL!!
Beats knock like braile...
boxed in by a flow....
that at best is considered frail...

This is for those that got those....
colossaus size picasso's....hahahaha

Holla

Out

[Calisto]

This may be your first poem on RB but I can definatly tell that you are no amature at writting! I loved the flow in this peice, all the rhyming and the constant emotion that I felt comming out of this was amazing...
"nectar sweet going down, but in the belly its bitter"
I loved that line poetically because it was truth but written well.
"YOU GOTTA DROP YOURSELF DOWN IF YOU WANNA RAISE HELL!!"
I loved that line period, that should be on a key chain or somethin man, that was great... You most definatly have skills, I saw so many things going on at one time in this piece that I had to read it over and over, not because I was confused just because I liked the picture I was seeing and I enjoyed that feeling... Well written and welcome to RB. Peace

[Twiztid_chick69]

REally nice drop..I liked the flow and everything nice drop...keep it up..you have talent...

peAce

[prophiit]

i loved it in fact i'm still laughing about the YOU GOTTA DROP YOURSELF DOWN IF YOU WANNA RAISE HELL" line its not funny but it tickled me. i sense a lotta of talent from you i look foward to your future pieces.

[Varentao]

Heh. Satire on the pretentious, the boujoir (did i spell that right?). That's what i got out of it. It was kind of cryptic at times. Kind of abstract. Had to dig.

I grinned at the end. It's kind of sensless yet also substantial. Dunno if you did that effect on purpose. But either way, came off well.

No critique. Enjoyed the piece.

..resp...

[Civilized Rebel]

Cryptic indeed. Because I don't get it. I really don't.