this was pretty creative man. Though in some places i feel you just threw in words..or even lacked some words. Other than that it was an odd piece..im not used to reading things approached like you did this one...it was an interesting read. I didnt know really where u were going with it...but i kept reading because i was interested haah. I feel though you should deffinitley work on your wording..I felt you tried to add emotion though you barley captured it because of your choice of wording...you dont have to curse to show emotion..try and find other ways to capture it ..imagery..wasnt bad i knew what u were sayin just the way u said it was the weird part lol
idk man average piece....work on that stuff i said...6.5/10