Polaroid catastrophe- Picture imperfect.
Makeshift wings sore into flight of disease,
Take to the skies, only to slice the ground,
With a ripe mind plucked from sanity’s tree.
Part One- The way I feel.
Sliding down a razor blades tender kiss to
My acidic veins; screams led, blood tagged
Along for the ride, impure thoughts lodge
Themselves into a cradle of ivory skull,
Writing ‘not alone’ on the tapestry of love,
Only to slice it into a million pieces again.
My insecurities make acquaintance with
Memories of a deviant’s juice of injustice;
Depression seeps in through cracks in
The child hood picture frames,
Plastering blistered love to the minds trip.
The razor assists me in picking myself
Apart again, along side me as tears
Evaporate into septic eye shadowed lids.
Kamikaze teardrops are welded from
Sparks of life; only to drown in my
Lifeless wounds; as I sip deep from a
Cups sharp rim, Sleepless starvation
Settles in to Sabotage my suicidal serenity,
& To forever liquidize sanity into a bleeding
Shadow of a former self, a self of love.
I hear the clock trying to negotiate a deal with time,
The hour hand strikes my heart for another
Beating drum roll of stampeding numbers
Part 2- what do you know of why I feel?
Oppressed by the very being delivered to protect.
Driven into a disorder of insecure collaborations
With hatred and love, both intermingled with
Fear; breathing semen through a throat of
Abuse, six years of age yet in a playground of
Bed covers, stained covers at that.
Banished to mentally tortured acidic screams,
Touched by cloud fluffed pillow cases,
As the ‘game’ continued deep into the night,
Moon light came to say its hello’s then only to
Bed its goodbyes, ‘until tomorrow’ he sang.
A kiss goodnight would linger towards a
Sleepless night, my goodnight lullaby,
Well, it was merely pillow talk to a Childs
Inexperienced knowledge. Subjected to
Baby blues, I guess love came at a price!
Deprived of an innocent embrace,
A hug of PURITY; glazed eyes of
Gazing thus gaping heart felt glances.
Yet I was landed with a violent drunk
Deviant of an impure, immoral fucking rapist
You made me what I am; YOU did it…
DADDY!
Part three: Tears fall to the clown’s irises
Farewell sweet sanity, maybe we shall reunite
In a future life, it’s been nice knowing you
But your time has expired, no further use of
You is needed; burn the embers of suicidal
Tear drops, they also have long surpassed
Their value. Life shall birth death,
In the womb of flickering clocks,
Designed to collect the hours and make them
Its own; invented to invest in an inventory of
Insane illness’s irrational insight
GOODBYE DADDY! YOU RAISED ME WELL!
Silence violins, I don’t need your sympathy
All I wish for is a moment in time to die,
A second to drift away to the screams of past heritage
But leave the leaves of lost love lingering in
The hearts of the lost evergreens pulse,
Fix me a drink for courage, sip with me
In denial, as I find homage in the bottom of
A glass; cut me a shard for later use,
I guess the train has arrived, take me home.
GOODBYE DADDY! YOU RAISED ME WELL!
silence at last