Wk1/ Twixn vs. Morbid Dream

[Born To Kill]

Ok, Gentlemen...

To remind...it goes like this...

Check in by Wednesday...or YOU LOSE! No exceptions...
At the time of check in drop the topic you wanna write about...
It can be about anything...this shit is about you, the person, you the writer...
What you have inside you that you wanna get out in written word.
Be it your shitty week, the story of you and your girl...
Your inner-most hatred, your ultimate adventure...
Whatever.
BUT MAKE SURE YOU LET YOUR TOPIC BE KNOWN AT TIME OF CHECK IN.
This is to reduce the chances of you waiting until the last minute...
Then posting up an old piece you wrote 3 years ago.
I REALLY hope you don't do shit like that...please write fresh, aight!

Maximum 36 lines...if you drop more, your opponent can request a DQ...
AND HE'LL GET IT! Please keep these verses fairly quick and easy to read.
That'll keep votes and interest going!

Due Friday, Midnight.

That's all, I guess...please tear this shit up!!!

Peace and good luck!!!
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.
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[Twixn...]

alright...

this again eh

what up.

oh i didn't realize i had to drop a topic... in the check in...

uhm...

Topic : Where did you go?

[Morbid Dream]

We get a rematch from the start. Sweet.
check......Topic: Nightmare

Morph vs. Brandon Cee
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...vs-352802.html

rhapsodist-vs-Chris Black
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...vs-352808.html

Witness-vs-Da Punisher
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...vs-352817.html

[Twixn...]

^ i'm sure it will all be good.

i'll edit my verse in here.

[Morbid Dream]

Congrats Twixn. Thats now 0-2 to you...................... .............................. ........thanks for the breakdown Ntalek


The verse has been re posted in a hidden location...heres the link

Nightmare

[Twixn...]

wont be able to drop till about 2 am...

pacific time... if thats cool.

[Morbid Dream]

So long as you dont "feed"... whatever and you must stick to your chosen topic. "Where did you go?"
Pz

[Twixn...]

Where did you go?

Conversations melt to waste bins...
till you felt my hastening word placement
i stumbled over and end up facing
this hesitation so easily misplaced and vacant
i still choke up on words to this date, i can taste it
so give me this one space... to make it
reiterate my fate so i can regain face and take it
and set back to chase mode
i can't set the same pace you hold
i just know, it's gotten old,
but it's not the same too much untold
without you here to whisper my name soothing the soul
heart clenched in this game, i'm listening babe...
though who could recall....

"well...i'm breaking up... on hold and lame
n' faking tuff, taken enough.... of the same
do we really still feel safe and snugg?
im gazing up... and not feeling the same tugg...
when our eyes meet, it's just a tame bluff
c mon, boy you know the game is up."

essentials ripped and torn and placed blame
my should takes aim...
and hearts flutters away again to fall back here.... the same
why can't i forget this name...
essentials ripped and torn and placed blame
my soul takes aim...
and hearts flutters away again to fall back here.... the same
why can't i forget this name...

how can i just sit back and look past...
when you made the world ur acting class
the simplest task could turn to drama
feminine masked with concern stamina.
It's the end of the term and my hands are famished
family has had enough of this...
i'm out in the rain... with nowhere to sit.

[Glory]

close one. I actually had a difficult time choosing a winner with it.

Morbid-you pretty much lived by your name with this one. Most of your verse was just random images of nightmares for me. For me this was a creative verse, I haven't actually seen anything similar before which is surprising. Your scheme bugged me in some areas, but overall, good verse.

Twixn-common plot line here, said in variation. You began your verse pretty strong here. I thought after the first two stanzas you were going to take it with ease but by the end of your verse i felt you didn't really take me anywhere with it. good job though overall.

V/Morbid...a bit more interesting in the final stretch

peACE

[Soule]

I dissagree with Ace ..

Morbid - it was a alright read. Carried mostly by great imagery and flow. But I felt that the wording, emotion, creativity and concept lacked slightly compared to Twixn. Wording for one, seemed nice in a few spots, but mostly weakened in most of the sentences. It was mostly the words you tried to rhyme that were alright of choice. But most other words were poorly placed IMO. The flow was really nice. Slipped right off of my tongue and seemed very natural. Emotion lacked a lot. I felt very little while reading your piece man. And was slightly disapointed because the last piece I read from you was flawless. Very weak topic, given with a very plain and used concept. Seen it done millions of times the exact same way. Imagery on the other hand was brilliant. Painted sculpture after sculpture in my mind. It wasn't too creative, but deffinently original. Keep writing man, just didn't care much for this read. Sorry bro.

Twixn - Nice read man, flawless IMO. Your wording I felt was chosen just right and placed just that. The imagery was dope, painted images in my head like a story book while it lasted. Flow was ill, carried a nice rhymescheme. Emotion was there and all in all a really good read. I'll give you less feed, but just know I loved the piece. Keep writing.

vote - Twix

make sure to hit up me vs design. both dropped.

[Chris Black]

Vote: Twixn

I hated the gray sentences in Morbid's piece. I really thought they brought the piece down. I've read three OM's similar to Morbid's, this week(one was mine). I think it's just a hard type of narrative to write. Twixn came withe the usual relationship stuff and the rhyme scheme seemed forced, but I would just connect with his story more. Twixn barely got it.

[Born To Kill]

2-1

More votes, please!!!

[Ntalek]

Morbid- I'm really not a fan of the type of topic you choose here not to be bias minded or anything...but you had alright flow..with poor wordplacement..you tired to squeeze in some things that I felt shouldnt've been there..IMO..or how I read it..some words rhymed strong some words didn't rhyme at all...some words flowed...with..some didn't...you had an alright approach..but it was moreso the wording that threw everything off for me as a writer...

Twixn -Now you on the other hand had great wording and placement with mediocore topic and approach but executed so well that it worked for the better in this battle..I mean the flow was smooth through out..solid vocab..and word choice...imagery and all..were going hand and hand...from beginning to end..with the beginning being a bit stronger to really grasp the reader...this was a close battle IMO..because even though I didn't like Morbid's topic..he almost pulled off the good approach if it weren't for his poor wording..so on that note..

V - Twixn..

[Born To Kill]

Twixn WINS, 1-0

Morbid Dream LOSES, 0-1

Nice shit, gentlemen!