Wk1/ Rhapsodist vs. Chris Black

[Born To Kill]

Ok, Gentlemen...

To remind...it goes like this...

Check in by Wednesday...or YOU LOSE! No exceptions...
At the time of check in drop the topic you wanna write about...
It can be about anything...this shit is about you, the person, you the writer...
What you have inside you that you wanna get out in written word.
Be it your shitty week, the story of you and your girl...
Your inner-most hatred, your ultimate adventure...
Whatever.
BUT MAKE SURE YOU LET YOUR TOPIC BE KNOWN AT TIME OF CHECK IN.
This is to reduce the chances of you waiting until the last minute...
Then posting up an old piece you wrote 3 years ago.
I REALLY hope you don't do shit like that...please write fresh, aight!

Maximum 36 lines...if you drop more, your opponent can request a DQ...
AND HE'LL GET IT! Please keep these verses fairly quick and easy to read.
That'll keep votes and interest going!

Due Friday, Midnight.

That's all, I guess...please tear this shit up!!!

Peace and good luck!!!
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[Rhapsodist]

check

lets see.. I think I'll do: Piercing Stare


good luck!

[Chris Black]

Topic: Beautiful Escape.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...vs-352818.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...-p-352820.html

[Chris Black]

When I wake, screams & hate seem to follow me
To escape things, I daydream, so the world wont swallow me
But my fate seems, to awake me,
& probably
I'm blurring my imagination with reality
I feel safe, despite how dangerous this habit seems
Especially in a world where havoc streams from our pores
My collapse; seen by the people on the ground floor,
As I stand on the bulding roof, flapping my arms, wildly
I swear they're wings & I'm as free as a child, see?
The child in me smiles, then fleas to the other side of the rooftop
If you don't believe you can fly, you drop. .
But I believe. . .

. .so I jump. . .
















































THUMP!












-Beautiful Escape.

[Rhapsodist]

Piercing Eye

Many conjectured the danger swimming within my eye
It causes a blue freezing within souls, mimicking dyes
and finishing ties connected to distant friends
a simple stare... enough to diminish their cares
the dyes ecstatically wash my vision with green
then blue.. then red.. the color of my sinister dream
I placed the anger within the palms of my soul
now souls withheld none, and their alms I controlled
I watch from a distance, continuously holding them
I'm hoping when I pay God a soul... it'll be holy men..
the dye transforms to purple.. almost constitutes my feel
then to teal.. then red again.. which contributes to fear..
my own fear.. I stare at bystander that stands by masses
of people.. my shoulder jerks back and cracks my glasses
they shattered.. it seemed to echo loudly and felt sickening
till a sudden silence struck with darkness.. another stare hit me...

I look away.. and daydream somewhere else....

meh... tried somethin different

[Rhapsodist]

oops double post.. stupid internet... but good luck!

[Morbid Dream]

I think Chris black came a bit cocky with his vers...small...mockingly...

When I wake, screams & hate seem to follow me
To escape things, I daydream, so the world wont swallow me...
...I'm blurring my imagination with reality

Favourite lines


I found the verse real clever as brief as it was. Peter Pan merged to self inflicted death was humorous. Rhymes were good. I guess u can say you were metaphorically on topic since the main person escapes life...not so beautifully outside of his mind. Brief verse, brief feed!


Vs

Rhapsodist

piercing eyes
I couldn't get into ur verse. The colours theme...had potential. I didnt feel much piercing eye vibes happening. Some parts didnt rhyme well like the last bar and u werent very on topic.

I look away.. and daydream somewhere else....

This didnt rhyme with your verse... so it looks like you copied CBs idea.

Regardless...V/Chris Black

[Know-It-All]

Chris Black-your verse was short and to the point, and to be honest It made me laugh. your rhyme scheme was solid. and I really enjoyed your metaphors. with the topic I got what I expected and much more. even though I wished it would have been longer. your opening three lines were my favorites and the ending was great lmao.

Rhapsodist- your verse was ok but I didnt really like how you fell off your rhyme scheme. you could have done alot with the topic but the whole piercing eyes thing didnt work for me. Your piece as I read was kind of bland and I was hoping for alot more bruh.

V/ Chris Black

[_Lyrics]

chris black-this league must be made just for you, short and to the point. your verse had metaphorical meaning, and as i was reading thru your feed, it did seemed like you did connect it to someone trying to be like peter pan[good one morbid]. lol, the writing was really clever and the flow as well as the multis were paced really well. and you had this unpredictable feel to the writing that left me scrolling to see if he was going to fly away with his dreams of escaping reality, he fell though lmao.. but in a sense he still did, after his suicide jump..

vs

Rhapsodist- i liked what you had to say too, that someones stare could really be piercing into ones soul. it had alot of meaning to it aswell, i just felt that the way it was written didnt appeal to me. The emotion of it was done nicely though, how the different colors made you feel different emotions. the flow was pretty cool too, done at a different angle.

v/Chris black

[Nomad.]

Chris Black - Very short piece. Seems as though you were in a rush when you wrote it being as though sometimes the flow seemed a little forced. The ending wasn't presented right either. I liked the topic and where you were going with it. I would just like to see you actually sit down and write it to full though. Decent enough but not that great.

Rhapsodist - I didn't like this one too much. The word choice and flow seemed really sketchy the whole time. It seems you were worrying too much about the technicals of topicals instead of just letting it flow out. No great rhyme scheme nor imagery or emotion here. If you don't incorporate anything into the piece then it almost just becomes words on a page. Keep writing man. And try to get some feelings in the next one. Maybe you went over your head with the topic or something...

Chris Black wins this. Rhapsodist just didn't have much to contend with...

Chris Black

[Born To Kill]

Chris Black WINS, 1-0

Rhapsodist LOSES, 0-1

Nice work, gentlemen!!!