Drowning My Soul ft Cry

[Kaotic Theory]

Drowning My Soul
Brought to you by IJL

Kaotic.Theory - 1st
Cry - 2nd

Confused with recent event’s, there’s no satisfaction
blame my other, he’s responsible for all my action’s
I can’t control him; my mind is in its possession
I’m the robot, not deciding on my life’s direction
glancing into the mirror, I witness evil’s reflection
I’m tired, going insane on every course of rejection
Aqua liquids are pouring out rapidly as we speak
With a promise to keep, freedom is what I seek
It must be destroyed now, before my world die’s
My body is just a disguise for a creature with red eyes
This monster will meet his grave, becoming its slave
So much hate, I must place it in its watery cave
Who care’s of my return, this world is a disaster
I’m jumping in now; who care’s the result after
My separation with this demon is all that matter’s

I'm seeing a blind white...got myself in a lime light
Then a beautiful green makes my eyes wide
Head hurts...seeing things, but the designs tight!
And still I'd do anything to get my mind right.
These lines fight, and provide a wondrous view
I've got to die before you see me...
Because I wouldn't want this for you!
I'm seeing' monstrous hues...ones I've never seen
Trust me baby, this is NOT a clever scene
The lever's green...so I turn it
Blue streaks churn quickly and spurt shit
From elongated faucets...my head plays tricks
But I made a decision, and I stay swift
Today’s it...the day of my insanity's real awesome
Hop in a bottomless pit, yet I feel the bottom
I got’m...I hold him...he starts to shrivel and die
Staying beneath my grasp, he withers and cries
Wiggles and thrives, the water's cloudy, but bold
..And he'll never escape this shrouding cold
And I may die, but so will he...
Because he's me...And I'm drowning my soul



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ue-346761.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ce-347070.html

[Facts Machine]

interesting stuff, i like the horror sense it had, but it could have been better in creativity. the rhyme-schemes were cool, but i think cry's was better.. both verses had nice imagery and i liked how it started off by theory, it drew me in with it's well written description on what's happening. this was a pretty good collab, nothing too amazing tho..

rtf please dudes...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...in-346472.html

[TheUnderRated]

decent little piece here guys cry i didn't like how you chopped up some of your lines like you started a thought on one line and it sorta got caught up in the next one ... kaotic I thought this drop was kinda simple for what i've seen from you in the past I dunno if this was rushed or what but it wasn't your guy's best foot forward I know that ... still all and all it kept me reading till the end and it was alright I would give it a 4/10 keep workin on it .. i'm rusty tooo no worries

[Cody Nash]

problem is i'm not rusty.. :\


i'm actually getting my groove back ..and it was meant to be chopped up. that type of writing makes your mind jumble and leaves you with missing pieces to imagine on your own.

[Kaotic Theory]

true....i think it's good

bump

[Cody Nash]

yeah.. upps.

[+Cloun-Around+]

all i can say is its pretty dope, would like to hear with a beat.

[soulstice.]

Yeah this was pretty good, chaotic your take on the concept was pretty good

My body is just a disguise for a creature with red eyes
This monster will meet his grave, becoming its slave
So much hate, I must place it in its watery cave
Who care’s of my return, this world is a disaster
I’m jumping in now; who care’s the result after
My separation with this demon is all that matter’s

that bar was the best.. the metaphors and emotion could be felt well. but should there be the apostraphe, lol im not sure, but i dont think so. could be wrong tho, anyway the thing i would work on is using synonyms or re-wording your lines in order to mae multi-syllable ending rhymes, that makes the flow better and is key ot a polished piece..

cry you were pretty good as well.

Today’s it...the day of my insanity's real awesome
Hop in a bottomless pit, yet I feel the bottom
I got’m...I hold him...he starts to shrivel and die
Staying beneath my grasp, he withers and cries
Wiggles and thrives, the water's cloudy, but bold
..And he'll never escape this shrouding cold
And I may die, but so will he...
Because he's me...And I'm drowning my soul

once again, the last bit of the part you played was the most interesting, the flow started to pick up around there and the piece really just explained itself all in the last couple lines, thats a good thing, in my eyes, keep it obscure and then tell em about it with the last bars.. good job to both of you

hit up a guide to a perfect existence

[Kaotic Theory]

thanx

bump

[Ntalek]

This was an aiight piece here..two very different style's...which flowed together smoothly IMO..The imagery was vivid in both drops..basically all the mechanics were well used...Although i did feel like cries rapid multi's and more vivid sense of imagery out shined K.T.'s a lil bit..not much though..I like how everything wrapped itself up at the end...pretty coo...all in all this was a great read...keep writing...


RTF pls..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...on-347776.html

[Icee89]

I loved the emotion and imagery and loved the topic propz

Who care’s of my return, this world is a disaster
I’m jumping in now; who care’s the result after


lol i loved that line

and like elemental soul said i was diggin the horror thing too

the only thing is i dont htink your guy's flows meshed well one was the same throughout and cry's was sporadic i liked it though nice drop

[Soule]

Both did nice a repped IJL well here. Good job. The wording from both was satisfying, placement was nearly flawless. You both chose your words wisely. The Imagery was cool, let me picture the piece in my head more than a few times. The flow was very nice and fluent. Liked it alot. The emotion was strong from both writers and kept me enjoying the movement of the piece. Unlike TUR, I liked what Nash did with his part. It was creative. The peice is original and I loved it. Keep writing guys.

Hit up my poem "Does She Know?" in poetic scriptures in return. Thanks.