The Status Quo

[Engivale]

I'm a pompous guy when
Long wrists lie on
A congress-sized
Seat for three honest guys,
Sin spawns despise,
Despair longs for sighs
With iconic rise---
---Am I the
Hydraponic's prize?
No song decides
What's wrong with minds,
That's on the lines
Outside we've longed for
The pawn's demise...
We've drawn the cries, and
We've conned the flies
To live lower
While we give over
Their odorless lives-
Show your disguise,
It's wives and lawyers and
Why is a toy your
Voyeur supplies?

This isn't preachin',
It's livin' each and every day,
Let me weigh the reason
Against the rules we bend
For schools to teach 'em to stay...

It's your kin that take the
Greatest portion of war's sin,
But before we begin
Beware we've sort of been forced in...
It's tour's end, and
Which company's next?
Somebody's necks are
Scorched again but we rest and
Assure the win....

Thought's just a thing,
But lots of it brings the
Light of lost souls
Crossed with life's woes and
It's awesome to sing...
The cost of it seems
To be awful, possible dreams
Where knowledge will gleam
Like gold and be told what
All of it means...

But until then
We still spend so many
Moments unnoticed,
Thinking that it's
The status quo that's
the problem and
All of them know this...

[Engivale]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...er-345913.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ed-342923.html

^^links. Structure might make this hard i'm gonna work it out.

[Que-C]

your rhyme scheme is complex and your content is deep, but I'd like to hear sometin personal, specific shit, that maybe every one couldnt relate to, it'll help to see your individual outlook on things

[Paramik]

Engivale...
This was a really nice peice.
Ive seen better but i can see it was jsut a sort written
Your such a talented writer. you really bring out such great expressions and imagergy with such little wording and small pnhrases.
you really put a lot to this peice even though it was fairly short.
the emotino was on poitn and it came great with the title which kind of matches the whoel OM. the imgaery was kinda of wavering but nonetheless it was still steady adn flowed well
the rhyme scheme was still god and it was original in your case with such a good writer.

It's your kin that take the
Greatest portion of war's sin,
But before we begin
Beware we've sort of been forced in...
It's tour's end, and
Which company's next?
Somebody's necks are
Scorched again but we rest and
Assure the win....

this part was really good and came real deep with such short words again.
so overall a good peice keep writing man.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...my-345440.html << plz

[Johnny 6-feet]

As usual you didn't disapoint me eng, you brought your original style and mixed it up with an original topic which kept me reading until the end. There was an abstract method to this which made the true meaning of the piece difficult to determine at times. The rhythm and rhymne scheme was on point though, and the vocab was at just the right level to make it easy to comprehend. This could've been longer and still enjoyable. Nice work man.

[Engivale]

thx for the feed all, i appreciate it i will hit ur piece tonight paramik i have just read too much today alrdy and its wearing on me i been reading since 10 am

[Alphabetized]

Well, firstly the structure was cool.
It actually flowed nice, when I had first looked at it I was like, WHAT?!
But It turned out quite nice.

The was pretty deep, your poetic nature really showed through in this.
You've been on some real deep shit lately, that's for sure and this is no different. This, was short and straight to the point. The length didn't hinder the greatness, although I wish this would have been a bit longer. Nevertheless, it was a great read.

When you get a chance, return the favor. Thanks!
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...27#post5895127

[P. Mortuus]

Every line seemed to point to a different type of person, maybe that's my own interpretation i don't know, but a lot of it was pretty negative on society but then said we stiil don't know the whole truth and shit--Kinda good, my style of topic at times but technically totally an Engivale type piece, however, it didn't seeme something you must of spent too long on, maybe you had i don't know..but this seems more like the 2nd nature type pieces that a writer can write in 15-20 mintues and still make sure it soudns and reads good...maybe i'm wrong but that's my persception man. Stay up^ and keep at it.

Some constructive criticsm, Yup:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ot-346058.html

[Morbid Dream]

But until then
We still spend so many
Moments unnoticed,
Thinking that it's
The status quo that's
the problem and
All of them know this...

That was a real think maker. I didnt know what to think of it.. Seemed political. The flow was interesting . The concentrated multies were dope. That shit takes real skill but I guess thats what makes it hard to produce more vivid material. Not that it wasnt vivid but it definately was restricted. I reckon you could build on this structure and improve it. I liked it

[Facts Machine]

nice concept, pretty complex rhymescheme, i could read it easily and swift, the 3rd stanza stood out a lil more than the others IMO, but it was all dope, nice shit. i really can't find any flaws... but maybe this one thing where after reading it, i wanted to read more, so it could have been longer to feel more complete... it's a short piece, u kno, if it was structured different.

please rtf and tell me what u think of my new open mic:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...in-346472.html