I liked this bro.Some very good imagery here and brilliant vocab.Really makes your piece a lot more impressive and you also do not use to much vocab as that can ruin a piece.Very nice creativity too but you could have gone differant places but what you did was just fine.Some of your lines seem a bit too short,maybe you should make then the slighest bit longer.Nice emotion partrayed by you also and I will be looking out for more of your pieces.
-Dyl