Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Halloween (story)

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    5,480
    Battle Record
    12-1

    Halloween (story)

    HALLOWEEN




    On October 31st, 1925...halloween was just beginnin.., high five
    when people went out to trick or treat they tried to say a live
    most of the kids out at night came home and survived....
    but for sum unlucky kids i cant beleive they fuckin died
    they either got shot or got raped or fuckin stolen....
    even kids came home with their whole eye swollen..
    thats just wrong my grand father put a stop to this.
    my grandfather wasnt afraid to pop for our justice...
    One year later a man came back for revenge..........
    and he was gonna make halloween fucked again.....
    I thought this killin shit was put to an end.............
    My grandfather already past away...no one to help.
    no one could stand up to this man not even them self

    October 30, 1938
    ...A man came from Africa with a weapon
    he was gonna teach this evil man a well deserved lesson
    he had a very powerful bow and arrow with fire at the tip
    he walked down the street with rum offerin peeple a sip
    he took out the weapon and called out the man's name
    the man came out with a sniper with a scope to aim
    them 2 hid behind objects firin at eachother like a game
    and if the african won there would be a great change
    The african got hit right on his right top shoulder
    he tumbled over, exaclty like a gigantic boulder
    but he turned around and shot him in the head
    and instantly he was dead..cuz he was arrow fed
    and when everyone looked for the african's body..
    it dissapearded magically....and everyone had a party

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    QB
    Age
    37
    Posts
    14
    Haha Good Shit Nigga, Feelin Da Story's Concept......Da Endin Was Tite, Flow Was On Point

    8.5/10, Word



    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    HOOD LITERATE

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    5,480
    Battle Record
    12-1
    thanks for da feed homie....uppin for more

  5. #5
    Po'Ethics
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    London
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,212
    Battle Record
    6-4
    This was good.. I wasn't wild about it.. But it was a good attempt at a story. The vocabulary/flow put me off really... I know I'm not one to preach on flow, but reading this for some reason it just didn't roll off my tongue and I think that was partially because of the lack of well used vocabulary. You clearly have the potential to be good, and I'll be watching out for your new stuff...

    Good luck... I know what it's like being new heh... So have some fun, try some new shit! That's about the only advice I can offer.

    Nice work though...
    Po'Ethics Lives

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    5,480
    Battle Record
    12-1
    thanks deivate..i apprecitate it...uppin

  7. #7
    Spaghetti Quarter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    4,343
    Battle Record
    24-7
    you this was ight, flow and tructure were good, creatity was cool, wordplay sucked horribly, and I didnt get how it said everytone had a [arty at the end, or it was just stupid, but pretty good work on wordplay mostly....

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    3,288
    Battle Record
    28-5
    yeah this nread nice.. i like aliterations..
    and the style you used dropped dope..

    i'd prefer to have seen sum multies chucked in co i like those shits u know
    i liked the rhyme scheme as well that was tite n them sum
    good read.. good stab at the subject approache with originality fosho


    stay up
    pz
    .................................................. ......................

  9. #9
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    5,480
    Battle Record
    12-1
    thanks for the feed homiez..uppin

  10. #10
    .
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    194
    Battle Record
    5-5
    This was pretty creative.......the topic was interesting..and i liked the story line......flow was smooth..rhymes scheme was good....strucure was exellent....nicely done skribble.....overall this was like a 8/10..keep it up..peace homie............

Similar Threads

  1. Halloween Story - Fright Night
    By Sugar Kane in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: October 25th, 2007, 08:24 AM
  2. Replies: 25
    Last Post: October 29th, 2005, 07:03 PM
  3. Replies: 16
    Last Post: March 15th, 2004, 07:15 PM
  4. Her Final Words... sad poem/story. True story? May
    By Civilized Rebel in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: July 30th, 2002, 02:31 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •