topic:FUTURE
lenght:10-20 lines
time:1 hour
blind
Pzychotic~Minds
villain of truth
topic:FUTURE
lenght:10-20 lines
time:1 hour
blind
cut the check
oh shit 4got check..
he's in jail, a father, and husband, a friend, almost 35//
got the guilty on a murder trial, yeah its 25 to life//
this man, with innocence flowing through his facial expressions//
wondering if he's destined to be free and live a life with succession//
growing tired of this dungeon he puts his mind in the next years//
picturing his family waiting for him when he's free, hearing the best cheers//
smiling and laughing, bringing him to an inner calm//
picturing his daughter's tears, when her daddy didn't hug her before prom//
thinking about his twisted future he claimed he would get out//
he knew there was something more for him beyond any doubt//
4 years passed, re-reading letters that his family sent//
he loved one in particular because it was laced with his wife's perfume scent//
he looked forward into time and imagined what his life was//
wishing and hoping as he prayed to our creator up above//
8 years more and now struggling with a passion//
missing out on the outside world's latests fads and fashion//
he's now severed 13 and he's praying to the savior//
and good luck to him, they let the man out on good behavior//
he pictured this day way back when and wanted to remember the moment//
exited the courthouse and was left softspoken//
his family even grandkids, wife crying as he walked over to sooth her//
just as he pictured it to be way before the future//
yo i dont want trouble i wrote my shit already i just 4got to check so just 2 tell ya
THE FUTURE
in the future theres alians,gods and flying cars
theres happy people, little kids and life on mars
no1 in the family dies evry1 is always good
evry1 lives in houses theres no such things as hoods
no vampires threats monsters or giant fangs
its all good no crew fighting from the people or gangs
evry1 is happy full of passion and love
people talk out there diffrences not push and shove
in the future evry1 will be in a better place
no1 is judgin by people their color or race
evry1 is happy in this futuritic nation
no hate violence or reverse descrimination
its all good no fighting and crying
no criminals outside stealing and lying
no1 is worried getting chased by time
go outside and dont have b worried bout seing a crime
evry1 is happy kicking it with their honey
no violence or fighting over money
days are happy enjoyable by the hour
no1 is making speeches or abusin their power
good luck
villian- that was good man....you had some nice creativity....nice opener but your ender was pretty bad....vocab needs a lil help
midz-that was really good...you used nice visuals and some nice creativity.....vocab was good.....structure was also nice.....vocab was good
mindz get my vote
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Made By Me
Villan
he's in jail, a father, and husband, a friend, almost 35//
got the guilty on a murder trial, yeah its 25 to life//??
no...
this man, with innocence flowing through his facial expressions//
wondering if he's destined to be free and live a life with succession//
horrible
growing tired of this dungeon he puts his mind in the next years//
picturing his family waiting for him when he's free, hearing the best cheers//
no
smiling and laughing, bringing him to an inner calm//
picturing his daughter's tears, when her daddy didn't hug her before prom//
no
thinking about his twisted future he claimed he would get out//
he knew there was something more for him beyond any doubt//
nah
4 years passed, re-reading letters that his family sent//
he loved one in particular because it was laced with his wife's perfume scent//
no
he looked forward into time and imagined what his life was//
wishing and hoping as he prayed to our creator up above//
no
8 years more and now struggling with a passion//
missing out on the outside world's latests fads and fashion//
nope
he's now severed 13 and he's praying to the savior//
and good luck to him, they let the man out on good behavior//
LoL thats like half his sentence??? lol no
he pictured this day way back when and wanted to remember the moment//
exited the courthouse and was left softspoken//
no bad structure
his family even grandkids, wife crying as he walked over to sooth her//
just as he pictured it to be way before the future//
nah
ok ending... kinda dumb way to show it it had nothing 2 do with the future till the last line... structure was horrible and multis was weak... 6/10
Mind
in the future theres alians,gods and flying cars
theres happy people, little kids and life on mars
meh
no1 in the family dies evry1 is always good
evry1 lives in houses theres no such things as hoods
bah
no vampires threats monsters or giant fangs
its all good no crew fighting from the people or gangs
LoL? no...
evry1 is happy full of passion and love
people talk out there diffrences not push and shove
LoL
in the future evry1 will be in a better place
no1 is judgin by people their color or race
ok
evry1 is happy in this futuritic nation
no hate violence or reverse descrimination
ok
its all good no fighting and crying
no criminals outside stealing and lying
meh
no1 is worried getting chased by time
go outside and dont have b worried bout seing a crime
ok
evry1 is happy kicking it with their honey
no violence or fighting over money
nah
days are happy enjoyable by the hour
no1 is making speeches or abusin their power
nah
it was very simple... no amazing rhymes... structure was good, it made sense... not much imagery in that piece 8/10
weak battle but sum1 has 2 win... minds gets my vote because of structure and better rhymes...
IJL<--What More Do I Have To Say?
alright thanks for ya honest opinions...
uppin 1
uppin 2
upp#1....
my votes for mindz. both topicals were good but i liked his better
v/mindz
AIM Bandits!
Viva La Resistance!
very one sided, look at the verses......if this is not enuff proff pm me and i will tell u..............mindz had a better verse all round......ur both gay *skeets on thread*
V/mindz
Artificial Intelligence
psychotic yours sounded more about the future and i liked your structure.. it made it flow better.. so since yours was more about the "future" ill give my vote to you..
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