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Thread: ",,," Smz .. t-west .. Sublime D

  1. #1
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    ",,," Smz .. t-west .. Sublime D

    Sublime D
    The fear I’ve felt that wasn’t dealt, but gained through disbelief
    Like hungry Celts, I’ve gone through hell for not sowing the proper seeds
    A field that’s overgrown with weeds, the cocoa and barley trees
    And fossil fuels like “Baby I loves” and “I’m Sorries”
    The yield of my labor is housing retirement capers
    And arts I love disintegrated, longer lives to all I’ve hated
    All my strives are segregated from my pride and goals negated
    To top it off my soul is faded…through jewels and monies it’s jaded
    Original body traded, residuals leave it tainted…
    Which is far worse than total contamination
    Facing forced trepidation from various world nations
    And most of the world’s patients, afflicted without vaccination
    Or a cure, though they try ardently to procure…
    A magic balm or cure all to leave all their lives secure
    But many of them demure and are subjugated to pure…
    I can ensure…although I can’t insure. That which is assured
    To any man endured by the world coiffure, groomed and demurred
    Like obedient puppies, they’re yuppies, ignorant as guppies
    Lemmings over the cliff wall…already jumped, how far will they fall?
    This salmon with feet’s performed a feat and learned to crawl…
    ...
    ...
    T-West
    I speak through soil where weak spoil, it's the ground where we live...
    names carved on caskets, flower baskets ready for kids...
    White roses, glimmer glowin' showin' "purity's" name...
    knocked over hurdles, short run at life then slain
    There's a remote for pain,since eyes have two cries
    cept the batteries have died, or they barely alive
    so many lies, some threw em in the back of the closet -
    beside love n' respect, it's never checked, they forgot it...
    hear sad piano melodies, the wind never settles -
    Rachimanov in the future playin' notes for the ghetto
    grass blows through dead meadows, brown water in creeks...
    red never seen, only green n' purple on cheeks
    searchin' heat, now the world is so stale on it's own...
    feelin' beat, keep hearin' loud crackin' of bones...
    Can I grab "God" or am I not worthy to hold?
    My palms always turn dry when i'm out in the cold....
    ...
    ...
    SMZ
    Ha - I'm ill with the flow... sickly adrift
    you might steal my soul - but can't rip these lips
    an yeah - I'll admit - need to work on the delivery
    but off my lyrics alone - you ain't ill as me
    you give me one word and I'll make your heart weep
    or ya' face shine - like extraordinary barkeeps
    BOOBIES
    glistening more than rubies - I just knew she
    was newly introduced to her duties
    she swirled around the pole - her eyes locked on me and my wallet
    but I was controlled by the way her titties frolicked
    what is it so mesmerizing about a cold areola?
    a mere glimpse leaves me harder than old granola
    PENALTY
    mentally it's simple see - I don't care about criminally
    acting against genteel beings - pillage, plunder and pulverize
    ‘till the village is wonderfully vulgarized
    I’m too sentient - shoulda never learned to spit
    they gather round screaming - BURN THE WITCH!
    Bittersweet

  2. #2
    .verity.
    Guest
    Nice collaberation, very interesting... im not sure what to say about the last verse but the first two seemed very well written, overall sumblime dropped a better verse. The imagery and ideas expressed through the first two peices were great. hmm, here's a couple lines that ima quote...

    SUBLIME
    A field that’s overgrown with weeds, the cocoa and barley trees
    And fossil fuels like “Baby I loves” and “I’m Sorries”
    not much i can say about that eccept "great"...

    T-WEST
    White roses, glimmer glowin' showin' "purity's" name...
    knocked over hurdles, short run at life then slain
    great expression, really. I like the concept of these lines.

    neways for the most part this was a great peice. I think the third verse threw the collaberation a little but maybe that was because it seemed like it wasnt takin seriously. But none the less it wasnt bad for a freestyle. < i hope thats what it was...

    neway return the favor, would be much appreciated
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167556

    Keep droppin str8 heat, Peace...

  3. #3
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    I read this last night but I didnt leave any feedback because I had to go somewhere.... But I thought that this piece was decent and it had its ups and downs as well.... Sublime I thought that you did a decent job with your verse it was wrtten nicely but to me it seemed that you tried to flow in too many parts of your piece and that kind of messed the read up for me.... T you did a decent job I like the description it was real nice and it added a good touch to everything.... SMZ I wasnt feeling your verse to much but it was nice if it would have been in a collab that woulf fit with the verses criteria it would have been alot better.... Overall a decent drop and it was a good collab it had ups and downs but good work....

  4. #4
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    thas the thing..we had no criteria...

    we decided to collab by not agreeing on any kind of a topic..we discussed nothing..essentially, we wrote three seperate verses and put them together...t west and i just happened to be on the same page....
    Bittersweet

  5. #5
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    why im upping this..i don't know
    Bittersweet

  6. #6
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    this deserved more replies
    Bittersweet

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