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Thread: Just Fell Along

  1. November 29th, 2004, 11:53 PM #1
    ILLunatic
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    Just Fell Along

    The soft touch of your lips, that i'll always love and more
    The tingle I get in your pressence, i'll always love and adore
    But you, I'm even lovin more. It's just too unexplainable
    Not tellin you I love you, is startin to be un-restrainable
    I'm no longer capable, it's gettin hard to live without you
    I would make a list, but I just love everything about you
    I dont doubt you, I know you'll go far in life
    And knowin that you're gone, I just cry at night
    It was love at first sight, but now the vision is gone
    You found someone else, and I just fell along



    ... First ever actually poetry piece
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  2. November 29th, 2004, 11:56 PM #2
    ILLunatic
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    SickOfYou - You were there....
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  3. November 29th, 2004, 11:56 PM #3
    Kaotic Theory
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    the emotion in this peace is quite romantic and loving......''did i just say romantic?''
    oh well,the imagery was decent....i mean i wish this was longer because while i was reading it i got more and more intereted and excited to read the next few lines...but there wasn't any left

    nice drop tho
    AI

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  4. November 30th, 2004, 12:09 AM #4
    Bad News
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    good imagery.... in this piece it was vivid and drew a picture...
    i like the short approach to these pieces...
    the emotion was there but i like your topicals better...
    keep droppin and i will be on the look out

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  5. November 30th, 2004, 12:15 AM #5
    ILLunatic
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    What you expect, my first poetry drop ever.
    Dont kno if i'll drop anymore, gettin into audio.
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  6. December 29th, 2004, 07:24 PM #6
    ILLunatic
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    Wow... just got some news on this poem
    It's being published from poetry.com
    And it is semi-finalist in a $10,000.00 competition
    Last edited by ILLunatic; December 29th, 2004 at 10:09 PM


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  7. December 29th, 2004, 07:32 PM #7
    DALC
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    ^ten thousand dollars for a poem?
    No offense but this wasnt the best poem on rapbattles,im sure someone on here could get a win in something like that.
    Anyways this was okay,emotion and shit.
    Last edited by ILLunatic; December 29th, 2004 at 10:10 PM
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  8. December 29th, 2004, 10:08 PM #8
    ILLunatic
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    Word, that's alot of money for a damn poem.
    But eh, I'm not gonna complain.
    But yeah, I kno it's not the best poem on rapbattles
    This was my first poem I ever wrote.. so eh


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  9. December 29th, 2004, 11:30 PM #9
    Gollum
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    Great emotion to this and I feel the way you have presented it. I know that I would feel the same way if my girlfriend had left damn good story if it is one.
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  10. December 30th, 2004, 01:04 AM #10
    ILLunatic
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    Thanks.


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  11. December 30th, 2004, 07:55 AM #11
    Varentao
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    It's a loving piece, no doubt. And there isn't much wrong with the what it is, as it is. But if i was to go past that. I'd say the rhyming was too rigid at times. Which meant the romance and general emotional flow of the piece was disrupted. Which made it harder to get into. Still, it had personal meaning i presume. And i could get at what was being done. Ended very nicely.
    I'm too secure to have a signature.

    Oh.
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