Commitment

[rule]

..At The Water, We Talked About Emotions
And Why To Bother, With Our Critical Devotions
& Why We Seperated, Ran Away From Our Problems
Told You Why Anger Retaliated, Why Issues We Can Solve Em..

Lonely On A Bridge At Night, Love Fought Desperatly To Survive
Commitment The Only Passion Right, & Keeping Our Knot Tied
Listen To Your Tears Fall, Feel Them Trickle Down Your Cheek
You Hear The Angels Call, When Stars Show Our Love Complete
The Skys Moon Astroids & Commits, Crashing Burning & Guiding
Creating Perfection Of Promises, Helping The Weak From Dying
Emotions Flare Bless Evil, Not To Mention Forget Our True Desire
Rumours Clash From Certian People, You Willing To End This Fire?

Kristy, I've Acted Selfish With Rage, Ran & Hide From A Strong Soul
Tell You About My Eternal Cage, Surrounding My Core Leaving No Control
I Couldn't Compounding Our Difficulties, Smuthering The Relationships Will
Understand I Would've Affectivly, I Haven't Had A Woman Not Attempt A Kill
Trust Being A Big Factor I Had Worries, You Can Talk Happily With Others
Yet You Hide When I Tell Stories, Paralizing Confidance Of Us Being Lovers
Attempts At Trying To Have Courage, Made Me Weak & Sick With Envy
Disolved Quick Into A Blurred Image, Loves Art My Portriat Felt Empty

My Behavier Isn't Acceptable, Allow Change In my Essence
Tobe Reabilatated Is Capable, Anything To Keep Your Presents
Unconditional Love For My Princess, That Gives Me Power To Believe
Me Evolving To Better Is In Progress, In Every Gasp Of Air I Breath
Hold My Hand Can You Feel Sensation, Don't Be Scared Of Your Heart
Cheek Wont Feel A Tear Vibration, I Wont Let One From Your Eye Depart

..Hold Me Forever Through Thick & Thin, Love Me Purely With Passion
Before We Drowned Struggle To Swim, I'll Die To Resurect Or Satisfaction
Be My Angel Beuatiful With Desire Of I, Force One Mans Evil Out Into Air
Prove If I Was Flesh Or Spirit High, My Commitment Forever To Be There..

Link:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...51#post1345451

[rule]

...Upping

[rule]

people wonder why i hardly ever reply to shit

[Prince Escobar]

This is a touching piece, the picture you paint in the first few stanzas is so brilliant i read it 3 times just to enjoy it. As you dug deeper into the heart of your topic you never wavered in delivery and your brush never graced canvas in an imperfect way, this was poetry in still, my only complaint was that the final line didn't seem to sever ties with the story, maybe you purposly left the story open to show the symbolism of the problem continuing or just to leave us hanging. Maybe im reading to deep into it and it is a true ending on second read it seems to complete it but still inadequetly. To compare the ending to a visual it reminds me of the end of Monster's Ball where we are forced into reflection, great piece is all i can say, 1luv.

[Perpetual]

wow man, really good
i really enjoyed the imagery it put in my mind
nice man, really inspirational, lol

[VETERAN]

yea nice image setter good theme and pretty deep , just kinda botherd me a lil with the big words it made sense and i understood it but it kinda was off balanced( jus a lil but not barly ) , still tight piece though

[rule]

Be My Angel Beuatiful With Desire Of I, Force One Mans Evil Out Into Air
Prove If I Was Flesh Or Spirit High, My Commitment Forever To Be There..
^^That line is very personal..The question of her to be mine..and leaving the othere guy out of our hearts..second line.she doesnt think i trust her..or care..and i'm not really there...so i was saying dead or alive..you can count on me...this was one of the most emotional pieces i've wrote because it is all true from the scenery to actions and wants..so if you don't understand something that is why. and i apoligize.

[YellowRapper]

damn. this is really good. I can see it like a motion picture in my cranium.

[Blak Sinzz]

Damn you got some skills..........this piece was a really good wun........it had everything great vocabulary flow was good and your structure i liked.........your imagery was extroidianary............nothing really bad to say about your verse here......keep it up........i would enjoy seeing more from you