Through these eyes

[John]

Pain and sorrow has brought me to believe/
that torture ain't enough and it's sumtin' i can't achieve/
my sentences bring the bad out in people and so they decieve/
another mother to grieve in her son's stupidity on these streets/
it's so sad sometimes to think back and reminse/
a small glimpse on the past got my mind froliced in no sense/
i spent my childhood runnin' from these demons/
they creepin in my mind when i'm sleepin/
i wake up some nights drencehed in cold sweat/
trying to think how i'm gonna get out this old debt/
that's when i hit my knees and begin to pray/
and think about who i'm gonna befriend today/

[Mistral]

This was alright here.....it was kinda short though, it could have been longer i think....structure was ok......the flow was pretty good i thought, stayed on through the whole piece....content was alright in this.....vocab was good.....had some alright multies in there....keep at it.