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Thread: Gladiators

  1. #1
    Rob D
    Guest

    Gladiators

    The Gladiator



    12 men standing...but theres an air of silence,
    Thousands turned up...to witness incredible violence,
    Fates decided...on the turn of a single thumb,
    The man with the power...to the crowd he will sucummb,
    Slaves forced to fight...to satisfy romes lust for blood,
    By that night...remains of corpses buried in the mud,
    Wife turned widows...children forced to bury their father,
    women weep...but the gladiators cry much harder,
    they get on with each other...help one another,
    when in the collseum...its like killing a brother,
    This was reality...not a ficticious fallacy,
    Real men...real weapons...and real casualities,

  2. #2
    beyond dope.
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    the Netherlands
    Posts
    13,191
    Battle Record
    50-27
    Nice, ...

    Real nice ...

    Short ...nice vocab....good flow, ...on-topic, ....

    change CGS to RoA ...k

    Pz

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    - Artificial Intelligence

  3. #3
    ||RythmicTendicies|| 'PercepTion''s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Northern Ireland, UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,166
    Battle Record
    7-13
    This was a dope piece dawg, even though it was only about 1 verse long it really made me picture the Collisium, the emotion and the intensity of it all. You stayed on the topic well, it's a relativly original drop, i've not seen another topic like this in Open Mic so far..

    Bars like:
    "Wife turned widows...children forced to bury their father,
    women weep...but the gladiators cry much harder," ... "Slaves forced to fight...to satisfy romes lust for blood,
    By that night...remains of corpses buried in the mud,"

    - really showed your true ability. You have killa vocab and you ability to make me feel the emotion was real!

    Overall: 4/5, it was a dope drop dawg, not much wrong with it, amybe a bit longer next time?
    Open Mic's


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    --------------------------------

  4. #4
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    N.E.England
    Posts
    8,020
    Battle Record
    34-10
    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    this was a good short read, liked the original subject, you made good use of vocab and it flowed nicely, the only sort of negative thing i would say is the rhyming scheme was quite simple, maybe some multis would add to the effect.......peace....
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  5. #5
    Rob D
    Guest
    up...

  6. #6
    Makes me think of the movie... liked the way you described the shit...

  7. #7
    That's Right...I'm White Verbatim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    canada
    Age
    38
    Posts
    576
    Battle Record
    4-6
    Nice man very nice
    it flowed really nice...well in the way i read it anyway
    the vocab was good
    wish it was longer tho

    peace
    keep droppin

  8. #8
    Pax
    Guest
    niiiice drop here...length was fine, u said what u wanted to say... got a message accross in a short amount of words and u came with creativity and originality...talkin bout history was good, its very unique...keep this up..maybe we should collab some time

  9. #9
    Rob D
    Guest
    yeh sure, hit me up in about a week on aim or summat,

    im writin for a few collabs this week,

    anyway thanx for the feedback, look out for some more soon!

  10. #10
    Pax
    Guest
    peep some of my open mics aight...any thats out right now is keystyled though with no editin.

  11. #11
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Ont.
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,038
    Battle Record
    23-19
    good piece, short but sweet, good wordplay and topic, i liked it...mad flow...keep it up
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  12. #12
    StOrMiN lYrIcS
    Guest
    your lyrix were hot in the beginning but it looked like you lost track tord the end~~~~~ but it was good over all

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