The Dream

[Verbatim]

woke up late at night eyes full of tears
dreamt bout somethin i thought was all cleared
was it a memory or just a dream
i'm confused my mind is in between
just when i thought i was over you
see what you did, look what i'm goin through
in the dream, me and you were together
holdin hands like everything was better
i just wanna move on with my damn life
forget about you, someday get a family and a wife

but i do care bout you still but i dunno why
even after what you did to me, made a man cry
left me outta the blue, i had no clue
i was lost, didn't know what to do
depressed for a week or two
scared, didnt know what my life would come to
i don't love you no more, atleast i don't feel that way
i just care like i cared for you during your troubling days
but hopefully it was just a dream and it didn't mean a thing
cause i don't want anything to do wit you.......not a damn thing

uppin for replies
peace

[Varentao]

A to the point and raw piece that i can only see as right from the heart.

I can see you put a lot of your emotions into this piece. And though quite uncut and 'here and there'. It is appreciated for what it is.

...resp...

[Legendary]

You did good writing this. Like Varentao said, it was a raw piece. I liked reading it. The first line of it drew me in. You started it out with an..emotional line, I guess. I thought that was a good way to do it.

"i don't love you no more, atleast i don't feel that way
i just care like i cared for you during your troubling days"

I like that part of it right there. Keep posting more like this.

[Verbatim]

thanks for the replies
keep uppin

[Verbatim]

plase give me some more replies

[Bounce]

I can relate to your peice, so it pulls emotion out of me. In a simple format you expressed your torment over a person, from friend to more, back to friend, then close by not wanting any more to do with the person. I can tell you ment that, but... you are still open to that person on some level. At least that's what I got out of it. I like it, keep up the work, you might want to add some complexity into this peice, I think the message is worth it. Overall I felt this..

Good drop...

[Verbatim]

thanks
keep uppin

[Prince Escobar]

Originally posted by varentao
A to the point and raw piece that i can only see as right from the heart.

I can see you put a lot of your emotions into this piece. And though quite uncut and 'here and there'. It is appreciated for what it is.

...resp...

i agree umm ur emotion was real and and real raw i liked that stay up, 1luv.

[Verbatim]

uppin

[Content]

This Was Definately Straight From The Heart
The One Thing That Made This Not Seem As
Well As It Could Be Was.....

left me outta the blue, i had no clue
i was lost, didn't know what to do
depressed for a week or two
scared, didnt know what my life would come to

~Other Words Could Hav Been Used To Possibly~
~Add More Imagery And Making It More Enticing To~
~The Readers...You Might Agree..You Might Not~
~Your Hearts Definately In This Though~

Some Of Your Words Were Just Used
Over And Over Again Througout This
Piece Which Made This Less "Reader Friendly"

Your Emotions There Without A Doubt..Elevate

Peace

[Tourniquet]

I think we can all associate with such feelings at one time in our lives, I know I can, and because of that, I feel you in this piece, I relate to the emotion.. Your execution may be different to mine, but the message is the same, a good piece.