10 lines
Due by Monday midnight
Ryno
MV
10 lines
Due by Monday midnight
bet. check
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Im the myth I’m the man…so I’ll kill ‘em where he stands
Whether a it’s by the clip or the hands…
I’m sayin…
Ayooooooo!!!
He a simp to the fullest, we all know chick’s regret fakes
If this ‘beta max’ out on style, I bet it’s as vintage as cassette tapes
Night time ur life line’ll kick the shit, dump n go yo
The pump’ll blow bro, u’ll catch a night cap w/ a bigger audience than unc n ocho
All that bark n no heart, yeah I’m gettin ballsy, sure
If he talk he’s floored, I move squares like him upon entrance like doggy doors
I suck at geometry but drawin rounds my only hobby
Only surface area I can relate to, is the lake I’ve decided to dump his body
Tired of tricks like u, always pretending ur dooms brutal
Last time u pulled the stick to stay alive, u almost drowned w/ ur pool noodle
i pray and hope that you dont battle me with this lack of intensity and lame ass flowOriginally Posted by Ryno
or the only edging u'll be doing is haven ur masturbation ruined...to think u "came this close"
u got 10 in the chamber? ALL that gas with no jewls dropping i bet
i got 10 in the chamber too, so i like your odds of winning the first round....of russian roulette
ur service is an elite tradition, knowing the documents u'd give ur life for is a wise decision
you want to uphold the constitution so a gunhole will help you focus on the body and de composition
got a girl and you love her, ill open up her mind and legs traveling the globe for a summer
if she around me i fuck her, created the perfect atmosphere 4 engaging orbital thrusters
i'd fold Ryno with my eyes closed, hands tied, blind fold
u acting John Wayne till this Gacy the resemblance to reports the guy that survived wrote
(all homo intended)
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Night time ur life line’ll kick the shit, dump n go yo
The pump’ll blow bro, u’ll catch a night cap w/ a bigger audience than unc n ocho
Coool
Tired of tricks like u, always pretending ur dooms brutal
Last time u pulled the stick to stay alive, u almost drowned w/ ur pool noodle
Pool noodle never referred to as a stick but I liked this.
Surface area bar cool too
i pray and hope that you dont battle me with this lack of intensity and lame ass flow
or the only edging u'll be doing is haven ur masturbation ruined...to think u "came this close"
No you didn't do this
The rest of the verse was interesting. Not bad.
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Originally Posted by Aero
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both came so fresh and so clean
I felt like MV ending more creative compare to Ryno
vote-MV
And your vote is for ??
Just my presence is enough tbh.
I'll vote but next time thank me for being here first.
Ryon wins.
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Originally Posted by Aero
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All that bark n no heart, yeah I’m gettin ballsy, sure
If he talk he’s floored, I move squares like him upon entrance like doggy doors
str8
I suck at geometry but drawin rounds my only hobby
Only surface area I can relate to, is the lake I’ve decided to dump his body
picking up the pace... i like this
Tired of tricks like u, always pretending ur dooms brutal
Last time u pulled the stick to stay alive, u almost drowned w/ ur pool noodle
a repeat on gun bars..
your verse had poor finishes(first 2 puns) and redundancies("All that bark n no heart"... "he talk he’s floored") like it's your first time rapping
vs
u got 10 in the chamber? ALL that gas with no jewls dropping i bet
i got 10 in the chamber too, so i like your odds of winning the first round....of russian roulette
wait.. if you win you stay alive
MV this was the worst i've see you come
v-ryno
aka Sorrow: the Broken Wing
Another close battle, kind of a style clash so I could happily see it go either way. Ryno’s flow was nicer. MV was a little verbose without enough internal rhymes to keep the flow going. MV’s best punches were better, Ryno was more consistent. I got MV winning again, but only just.
Vote- MV
So I got this at Unc and Ocho vs MV’s opening two bars
Beta max out was cool too
Between those two I’ll give it to MV for a lil harder of a drop
Dope work fellaz
He a simp to the fullest, we all know chick’s regret fakes
If this ‘beta max’ out on style, I bet it’s as vintage as cassette tapes
Ehhh a lil stretched but I get it.. decent opener
Night time ur life line’ll kick the shit, dump n go yo
The pump’ll blow bro, u’ll catch a night cap w/ a bigger audience than unc n ocho
Not bad.. had more potential then you put in it
All that bark n no heart, yeah I’m gettin ballsy, sure
If he talk he’s floored, I move squares like him upon entrance like doggy doors
Much better.. tight
I suck at geometry but drawin rounds my only hobby
Only surface area I can relate to, is the lake I’ve decided to dump his body
A lil stretched.. decent
Tired of tricks like u, always pretending ur dooms brutal
Last time u pulled the stick to stay alive, u almost drowned w/ ur pool noodle
ehh.. weak closer..
i pray and hope that you dont battle me with this lack of intensity and lame ass flow
or the only edging u'll be doing is haven ur masturbation ruined...to think u "came this close"
Damn that was stretched as fuck
u got 10 in the chamber? ALL that gas with no jewls dropping i bet
i got 10 in the chamber too, so i like your odds of winning the first round....of russian roulette
Ehhh.. damn.. stretched
ur service is an elite tradition, knowing the documents u'd give ur life for is a wise decision
you want to uphold the constitution so a gunhole will help you focus on the body and de composition
Got damn you stretched that crazy.. nah.. no good
got a girl and you love her, ill open up her mind and legs traveling the globe for a summer
if she around me i fuck her, created the perfect atmosphere 4 engaging orbital thrusters
Nah
i'd fold Ryno with my eyes closed, hands tied, blind fold
u acting John Wayne till this Gacy the resemblance to reports the guy that survived wrote
Decent closer but stretched
Good battle fellas.. MV had pretty good concepts but finished them poorly.. and the cadence or flow of the peice was very eeehh.. I gave this to Ryhno for Better punches, better flow & Better concept finishes.
Vote= Ryhno
Good job to both.
...M³...
>³<M.urderous M.ic M.ercinaries >³<
--------------------------------------------------
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Enter the ION REALMS OF METATRON
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THE HONEST BATTLE VOTE KING
Ry is first three we good… I liked doggy doors the most, could of been worded a little harder I thing but def cool.. opener was cool to… mv you ain’t do it for me in this one bro.. a jerking off/came line? Naw bro lol.. the rest was meh too.. u live if u win RR… rest was nothing worth mentioning.. no hate just ain’t do it for me
Vote ry
- - - Updated - - -
4-3 ryno
Ryno
Im the myth I’m the man…so I’ll kill ‘em where he stands
Whether a it’s by the clip or the hands…
I’m sayin…
Ayooooooo!!!
I’ll be honest here the opening lines are extremely basic and unsatisfying I feel like you could have done without this if the intention wasn’t to set the tone. I feel like you psych yourself up here and left the audience unsatisfied, kinda like bad sex with a woman and you come really fast and roll over like wow that was great and she is like 😒 yeaaaaaa best I ever had. I’ll give this a 4/10 only for cadence but after reviewing your verse this line could have been way better. Imo, because I don’t play apex legends but after looking into the content of the verse I see that is your scheme so it works in some places but in others for me it was basic
Main body:
He a simp to the fullest, we all know chick’s regret fakes
If this ‘beta max’ out on style, I bet it’s as vintage as cassette tapes
Ok nice decent word play here and I appreciate the double with the beta max line. Things that caught my eye- simp to the fullest connect well with beta max and the punch of his style even when at his top game is still old school and vintage is creative 6.6/10 I also began to realize you used a ton of apex legends reference so judging by that I’ll start looking into your bars more in relation to that for better breakdowns
Night time ur life line’ll kick the shit, dump n go yo
The pump’ll blow bro, u’ll catch a night cap w/ a bigger audience than unc n ocho
Easily the best line of your verse I love the Unc and ocho punch I think this was a successful build up with aggressive gun bars and a major punch in the creative content. I also appreciate the multiple rhyming syllables and again the apex predator correlation seems to be a common theme however I think I appreciate it more because not only did you deliver and hit every syllable but you used fresh content when incorporated Shannon and ocho and this was clean.. I’m giving this 8.6/10
All that bark n no heart, yeah I’m gettin ballsy, sure
If he talk he’s floored, I move squares like him upon entrance like doggy doors
Ok ok I love the rhyme scheme what I like about these lines is the unpredictability and not knowing what word you would use until I read it as well as the rhyming words and syllables were not sequential but hit different places and it worked really well. but the cadence was on point tho you definitely didn’t slack with that part. The negative- I’d say it’s not a lack of creativity I think it’s a lack or poor choice of words I think you had opportunity to make this line even better as well as other lines
I can give this a 6.9/10
I suck at geometry but drawin rounds my only hobby
Only surface area I can relate to, is the lake I’ve decided to dump his body
I like this bar up until surface area then I feel it Plateaued… ok so again this is apex legend jurgon- you suck at geometry- which there is also a event called golden geometry or phase heist, I definitely love the connection to that line with this gun bar “drawing rounds my only hobby” this is a very heavy bar then the second have starts to feel uninspired and cliche although surface area was nice when you started saying that’s all you can relate to and then the dumping body’s in the graveyard keeper river body dumping I just kinda lost interest as well as it wasn’t the right aggression and wordplay imo
Because I only felt half the bar ima just give this a cool 6.6/10
Tired of tricks like u, always pretending ur dooms brutal
Last time u pulled the stick to stay alive, u almost drowned w/ ur pool noodle
I honestly believe this is the worst bar in your verse. I think for a finisher this was lazy. Honestly this was not very well put together. Sounds goofy and the visual is like straight out of a Nickelodeon sitcom… I’d have reworked this if I were you and took sometime to get it together ima go ahead and rate this 3.9/10 it’s not very rhythmic or well polished at least the opening line had a bop or step in cadence..
Ok so overall brother your verse seems to be slightly above average. You have extremely good potential. Things I liked were that you know how to build up suspense and can deliver good punchlines at times as well as you have many different flows some I liked more than others. You can be creative and you seem to stick to themes well. Things I don’t appreciate is your choice of words and overall syntax and structure of the whole verse. I really feel like it’s there for you but definitely more battling and practice will bring it out. So final grade with all things considered as well as the overall
6/10. So your skill level is slightly above average. However it’s tough to gauge because I saw moments of greatness and I saw moments of failure too. Overall you did a good job and that’s what matters..
Mv
Main body:
u got 10 in the chamber? ALL that gas with no jewls dropping i bet
i got 10 in the chamber too, so i like your odds of winning the first round....of russian roulette
Alright 👍 ok ok ok man nice!
This my friend is how you open!
You opened like magnus Carlson in this one ok what do I like? Well I like you grabbed some material to use however some of the lines you grabbed from ryno was pretty good honestly however it doesn’t take away from you starting with intense disrespect and creative thinking..
10 in the chamber , gas and no JEWels dropping, 10 + 10 in the chamber is even so his odds of winning are slim but with a double and twist because you relayed it to holocaust the Russian roulette bar hits pretty extra ordinary. The fact it’s the opening line I’ll give you an extra .2 overall this as a 8.8/10
ur service is an elite tradition, knowing the documents u'd give ur life for is a wise decision
you want to uphold the constitution so a gunhole will help you focus on the body and de composition
ok smoooth I rate it, not bad the theme here is being of service or military and it was a very slow and meticulous build here one thing I can say is the rhyme syllables when you have long drawn out lines building up can make or break you, sometimes it’s dull and boring and can lose the reader which even if there is a punch once you lose then they may let it go over there head. My only critique is you can try to put a couple more rhymes into the bars in some places to spice it up. However you already have all that’s necessary from the punch to the structure content and build up. I’d give this one a 7.1/10 part of me tho wanted to give it a 6.9 but I will give it the benefit of the doubt. Because I do see parts that may be intentional but because you didn’t structure it I’m not sure but I’ll still say the lines.. so the build up on being patriotic was subtle perfectly into about half the bar when you then hit a climax and used it against him. Uphole connects with the build on patriotism but also I believe this is also where the bar takes it’s turn as it also sounds like up hole or a gun shot in the upper body. Then gun hole ties into it of course , for some reason I think of gung ho on that part but the real deal for me is how you subtly metaphorically use gunhole to relate to to two things. So bullet hole and gunhole are not the same definition, with respect to your lines I like how you displayed that. Gun whole is a battlement opening that has two solid sides so metaphorically you put ryno in the dugout and got him paying attention to the body and composition.. I’m willing to give this a 3riple entendre. Because the composition is the makeup of something the ingredients or the writing content the body is the strength and measurements and capabilities of something which is related here to being a patriot and fighting for the constitution but also is being used to metaphorically as a soldier in a gunhole being protected by two sides of camp. But then you also paint a picture of this man getting shot in the upper body and decomposition. By you using just a few nicely chosen words you can invoke deep thinking and breakdowns wether it’s intended I don’t know I could be reaching but for what it’s worth I consider everything I catch intentional.
got a girl and you love her, ill open up her mind and legs traveling the globe for a summer
if she around me i fuck her, created the perfect atmosphere 4 engaging orbital thrusters
Ok uh meh I can respect the creativity and I always love a good buildup - one thing this buildup has great rhyme scheme and cadence but falls short somewhere in my opinion. I just think with a little more effort you seem to have had the material to have used these personals to a bigger advantage however I can’t knock it it’s not bad but it’s just not very good either. - I will say the punch of thrusting his woman in a good atmosphere to me was weak and this may be your weakest bar as I don’t think I comprehend where the bar went or how. Started you taking his girl for the summer and flying all over the world but somehow we ended up in space at the international space station thrusting ion booster 😂 jk jk..
6.1/10
i'd fold Ryno with my eyes closed, hands tied, blind fold
Awesome play on words and use of his name ok so literally no exaggeration you can fold rhino blinds it’s actually called a rhino blind fold. As well as there is a company that sells many handy products like straps tarpaulin etc and it looks like your bars are pretty straightforward you would fold ryno but interesting enough it seems you also know about rhino blinds and how to fold them and etc so I mean I’m unfamiliar but for creativity, personals , teaching me something new, and good word play I’d like to give this bar a good 8.3/10
u acting John Wayne till this Gacy the resemblance to reports the guy that survived wrote
Ok so John Wayne gacy an serial killer and rapist now becomes ryno however I don’t know what ryno looks like however there is mild wordplay here I feel like I’m missing something but I think pretty much your saying he is homosexual and resembles JWG ima do us all a favor and wrap this one up fast I don’t think it’s horrible but not the best finisher imo. 5.9/10
(all homo intended)
Over all 7.3/10 you are basically in what I call adept based on what I seen from this battle. I’ll say you boys both did well especially you MV I can’t lie your verse in my opinion had the deeper content the more creative schemes more punchlines and double entendres. I’ll say neck and neck you both had got flows at times and poor flow at times but you can say that it was both rushed a little most likely you guys took the battle on a whim. Ah last thing I’ll say is I feel like you may have skimmed his verse before you dropped it was some bars I can’t remember rn but you lowkey hit the nail on the head.. I think it was that Russian roulette line I can’t remember tho. Great battle I hope to see you all soon again if possible always pm me to vote when you guys need it
Ok so obviously based on my scoring you can see who I’m voting for however the scores were for punchlines similes metaphors double entendres homophones style cadence rhythm schemes depth and choice words. Also literature I’ll say this tho there will be times when people will tie on my score cards or .3less that their opponents and still win because even though I’m gauging and judging people’s style expertise mastery and over all intelligence it’s very possible a verse can resonate with me more than another no matter the mastery of the wordplay or syntax position of each word meticulously. Maybe you had the better double entendres but the other person was able to vividly show me a motion picture with their lyrics and in cases like that my vote is my vote sorry not sorry.
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