LLL Week 1 Mag:
Introduction
What’s up everybody, welcome to the 24th season of the Lethal Lyricist League! Your hosts: Wuxia, Kill Spree, and myself - will be bringing you a jam packed season with all you can eat L’s, weekly Penthusiast Podcasts by Wuxia, spontaneous Fight Nights, Gimmick Weeks, Pic Weeks, etc etc the list goes on. We’re all very hyped for this season; the recent comeback of activity has brought a new flame to the site that was much needed. The last LLL Season ran by miracle landed in a ditch, so we’re here to make sure that doesn’t happen again. The benefit of having three mods is that there will always be someone around to take care of things. I won’t ramble on about nonsense, so without further ah due…
Top 3 Worst Wordplays EVER!
Throwback Battles by Wuxia
LLL Week 7 Champ Match
Dominate
Originally Posted by Blue
so a nice rack that's fine?! crack baby ur never gunna smash a dime..
keep sayin the ‘Tattle’ get u laid but let's be honest man… we all know that's a LIE
Dictionary.com is a free resource, FYI.
Your wordplay’s weakening nerd. I peeped that shit & couldn’t believe it at first
I was hoping to Redefine display. Not watch you butcher the meaning of words
Get a dictionary and check your shit. You fucked up one bar after another man
If the devil’s in the details u been writing pamphlets for Christian summer camp
Enough of ur talking. Reading ur muddled ass concepts is fuckin exhausting
What comes out your head is patchy these days - it’s no wonder you’re balding
Chest shot - get the sights on you. Head shot - get marked with the beam
Fuck ur attention to detail. You’ll get the dot on ur eye & the cross on ur T
I came back after five years and you’re still chasing that ultimate text hype?!
I just do this shit for the lulz, Blue … you do it for the lulls in your sex life
Lie & pretend you’re the GOAT. You’re all about quantity, harmless w/ bars
Tell defibrillating to status all u want man. I know u take those charges to heart
& ur wife’s a slutttttt for the D. I only let her suck it a couple of weeks
She got shoved aside cuz I ain’t colorblind but Blue, that pigment nothing to me
Your boys TOLD you she was whoring. You went and proposed you coward
Can’t believe you gave that muttering when everyone talked so low about her
Yahh you know nothing.. and the love you get from your fam is absurd lame
I don’t care how much ur Antidote. You need a cure for ur garbage wordplay
vs.
Blue Bayou
Dominate vs. Barcotic last week
Need to stop all that vet talk. Too late to pretend ur one of the best dawg
I’ve seen how u disembark… that ship has sailed & it's time u stepped offFirst cauterize now again?!Blue Bayou vs. Barcotic on NC
tellin Inf his bars are wack & would quickly get ripped apart..
i get it, he caused ur ‘exit from the Ship’.. it makes sense that you'd Disembark
the timing is PERFECT. you'll catch me havin a laugh as he packs tonight
I'm moving house next week too. I have so much goddamn stuff. It's not the big furniture that gets you, it's all the little shit you gotta put in boxes. So many DVDs I'll probably never watch again, so many books I'll probably never read again, shit in the kitchen like a slow cooker and a popcorn maker we've used like... maybe 5 times each?... still don't wanna just toss them though... I've barely started packing and I already fucking hate it
cuz i’m putting some little shit in a box too, only place he’s moving now is the afterlife
i hate to have to do this, but you need to stop writing n’ quit
it’s hard not to make an example out of you when there's sooo many of u biting my shit
body shots & blood. i’m crackin ribs if you got the nerve for some fighting
trust me Domicile be evident...then you’ll run to a place of permanent hiding
they say he’s a tactician. puzzles opponents & there’s no doubting his power
i call bullshit...his punches only mystify shoulder roll n’ knock em out w/ a counter
Dom your whip is garbage. shit is charmless & that is why you never see ass
carbon broke down so many times i swore you were teachin your chemistry class
fiancé admitted shes cheating. can’t stop herself from slummin & hoein
if honesty’s the best policy, it’s no wonder Australia’s got the best govt goin
my girls into freaky shit, handcuffs & ropes when we go a real five rounds
your girls similar, but means something totalllly diff when she says she feels tied down
always archin her back to twirk, one look that bitch lacks a skirt
it’s crazy...you’d think after she Engaged in multiple orgies u wouldn’t get THAT w/ her
proved he’s no King Slayer. he won a tag belt cuz of the goat, not his work involved
it’s true his partner carried him...only when he’s next to Aerys able to BURN THEM ALL*
*Episode 2 Sunday fuck ya bitches... g'luck Dom
WINNER: DOMINATE
The Summer Classic ‘18 on Netcees
Destroyer
Zelph, aka, for battling, aka the creature we can’t wait to shoot
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU to go chain yourself somewhere little fat kids can feed you baby ruths
You fucking cryptid... I legit hope u choke & die.
dude’s the second coming of Beyond w/one open lip instead of one open eye
Just stop it, Z.... in archives for days to get ammo for a smooth robbery
I guess miscarriage lines??? bro. I have a kid who’s face & mouth tissue fused properly
ur not cut out for this. those bars just ain’t enough to not clown ur lips
ironic ur the cop but u will be the one reaching and getting shot down for it
me love ghost? nah. but every time u knock on a door, it’s trick or it’s treat
ur the one who needs bags - over ur face to stop scaring kids on your beat
& now it’s sad. i feel almost sorry for my nouns & jabs
cuz normally my lips are sealed... but in this case, palates bad
vs.
For Battling
I cnt believe this shit. Des stays talkin bout my scar like he’s one to speak on it
Wel im jus glad I was able to develop more facial features than his wifes dead fetus did
Put this man in a hearse. U shoulda seen the way he ran from the burst
Or ill let a dummy go off in his crib & kill his whole family like the Annabelle curse
Tell this fuckboy ive had it. He’ll look dumb af wen I pull up w/ static
Ventriloquist; these hands will make a dummy talk outta nowhere like its magic
Des wack in the 1-2, Ur trash lines has us cheesin..we call u wack for a reason
U can ask MMLP2.. he’s proof u haven’t dropped anything good the whole season
You used “rattle” as a gunbar? This old man cnt seem to get the lingo right
I’ll paint the board red, this stick leavin’ rounds in a square.. it’s bingo night!
Look at the tools that I’m poppin. Proned out, aimin a scope at ya noggin’
Cheap shots, I’m bangin cans on the floor to take half off like I’m grocery shoppin’
WINNER: FOR BATTLING
Interview with Krucial Th1rt3en
Interview With Krucial Th1rt3en by For Battling
1. What’s up Krucial, we see you’re fairly new to RapBattles.
You seem to have a lot of haters already and we aren’t too familiar with your bsttling past.
Can you tell us a little about yourself?
What hood/set you rep, what you do for a living, age, and how you got into battling?
---im new here, but i recognize a couple ppl from back in 09'. (orc, archetype, barcotic, etc)
i was active on their for like 4 months in 09',
then i stopped text battling until 2016 on OTBVA. i quit that shit bcuz i just turned 18, i was goin to bars, gettin
into shit, being a reckless mf lmao. i understand that u can still go on the internet while doing that shit, but not
me, i literally had ALL of my focus on the dumb shit i was gettin into.---
---im from the Mil (414), a hr from Chicago, our city is known for Gangs. now my blood family is mostly GD (gangster disciples),
my cousins from chicago are Traveling vice lords, and i have family in-laws that are latin kings. so u can say im nuetral.
i fuck wit mfs that fuck w me. if i got issues in the Mil, 1 call will have some G's (GD) on they way... if i have issues in
the Chi, 1 call will have some Lords on they way.---
---i dont really wanna specify what i do for a living, i can deal without ppl here tryna fuck me up, bcuz they get emotional
and idk what kinda hacker-nerd mfs were dealing with, so im cool on that. i can do without suing people lol.
just say im self-employed (no, not drug dealing) i make beats though, thats a part of my living.---
---i got into battling when i was like 9-10 at school. and we didnt even know rappers even battled lol, we thought that was just what
we did. and when i turned like 14 yrs old, i joined my first text battle site Hip-hop-world.com, and i was active on there from like
04-06. then in 09, RB and then 2016, otbva. what made me join hip-hop-world was the days when Cassidy fried freeway on cam lol,
we loved cassidy. then the serius jones-murda mook battle. all that played into me continuing in battle rap.---
2. Also you’re dope bro, so why the fuck you got people hating on you?!
---tbh, they say ppl like me and you have a URL-type style. and they look at that as inferior to theirs...
which lets me know that most ppl on here are entitled white kids who want to be the "cool" guys at the table.
so they have to downplay black ppl, or URL type battlers to big themselves up, which is why they call our style
trash, and call theirs Elite. pretty simple IMO.---
3. You mentioned you’re pretty close to the battle rapper known as Chilla Jones.
How did you manage to get in connections with him?
---well i wouldnt say im close to him like that, he just fucks wit me and my guys on twitter bcuz we tag him in our
text battles. which led to him following me on twitter. im also followed by Goodz, which is a legend in battlerap
(cant believe i have to explain that to ppl lol), and im also followed by Corey Holcomb the comedian, and other
popular battle rap bloggers.---
4. From what you’ve seen so far, who’s got the illest pens & the worst pens?
Top 5 Text battlers and top 5 worst battlers, from this site.
---i aint gonna say who got the worse, bcuz their names didnt stay in my memory lol. but i havent seen too many that
dont do forced wordplays, and weak punches. the top ppl here all have the same exact style. they take a big random
word, do wordplay off of it, and use the defintion of the word to make a punch...
...
EX : heres a bar from Habitat..."fuk could say he makes a dollar perfidy of mine n I'd bet the difference he's a liar"
perfidy means liar, u see what im saying? they ALL do this, im not pickin on habitat, his just comes to mind quicker
bcuz its more recent in my memory. i damn near hate this style lol, but atleast i can say that its just not my
preference, rather than dissmissing them as trash when im arguing with them, regardless if i think its trash or not.
i try to b objective, and yet ppl still call me out my name and get emotional.
but so far, i seen your style is the most like mine, and of course im gonna resonate with a style i see similarities
to mine in. and they dont like u either lol. we are the "URL" guys to them lol---
5. You battle on a twitter league, can you tell us a little about it?
Who’s the champ for it? What place are you in?
---yeah our league is called ERBL (earn respect battle league). we have a group of some popular guys in the battle rap
community, bloggers etc. my boy Classick is the champion on it though. and im ranked #3 out of 20 ,behind him and my guy Codeine,
bcuz i lost a big battle to him mid-2017, it was very close though, we had like 100+ votes on it, i lost 45%-55%.
one day im gonna show u the battle to see what u think of it. we hyped the hell out of it though, thats the battle
that made Goodz follow me on twitter.---
6. What niggas on this site are on your hit list?
Who would you like to destroy in a battle?
---tbh, i dont care who i battle, unless its one of my guys. battling someone im cool with doesnt motivate me to write harsh
enuff. i am at my best when i cant stand my opponent lol. just bein real bro. so anyone u ever seen trolling me or ridiculing
me... just know they have a special place in my hitlist. but im so reluctant to battle certain ppl, bcuz they seem to band
together here, and id rather not put myself in a position to lose to ppl like that.---
7. Do you believe you have what it takes to champ this league?
---of course i do, but realistically, the wp style is what they all do here, so until REAL battlers start coming here and text
battling (danny myers, chilla jones, qp, ave, bmagic, guys like that) we have little chance to.---
8. We’d love to see a diss video of you dissing broke lesnar, killing spree, and habitat, can you make that happen?
---im not sure, ppl like broke hide behind multiple accounts and fake avatars, we dont even know what these guys look like.
they can all b the same person for all we know lol and i was actually coo wit killspree before he started hating me lol fuck that stupid retard
but most likely, no... it wouldnt gain me any views anyway---
9. Any shoutouts?
---shout out to Classick and ERBl, shout out to You bro. and fuck whoever aint fuckin wit me, just like that.---
LLL Battler Profiles
Wuxia
Brooke Lesnar is an old head who’s been around quite a while, back and forth. Rumor has it that he hates his family, mainly his slut of a daughter who can’t help but bring home a new black guy every week. Ok, so maybe Brooke is racist…who cares? Maybe Brooke is jealous that his daughter is getting 10in+ cocks nightly, and he has to look his wife in the eye every night in bed knowing that she wishes it were her suckin that mega slab. My advice? Just become a cuckold, if you aren’t already. Hell, it actually makes some marriages amazing - much stronger than they were before. The bond you and your wife will share as you hold her hand while she’s getting rammed doggy style by a monster cock, is unlike no other. That nigga gonna nut all up in her pussy, she’s not even on birth control. You think to yourself “wow she never even lets me finish inside of her”, and here she is….letting Tyrone Biggums fill her with nigga nut. Months go by and you come home from work one day to find her weeping softly on the sofa; you go to her asking “honey is everything ok?” She removes her hands from her face and her chin begins to quiver. She tells you she’s pregnant and that there’s no way it’s yours. You comfort her briefly telling her everything is going to be ok, and that you’ll be right there holding her hand when she gets the abortion. Her face goes from sad to humorous in the matter of seconds, and she begins to laugh hysterically. She says to you “oh honey, Brooke, baby….I’m not getting an abortion, I’m going to have this baby and Tyrone is going to move in with us.” You open your mouth to counter but she stops you and continues “these past 4 months that you’ve let me have the most amazing sex have been the best time of my life….I want you to move into the guest bedroom so that he can lay with me and our baby every night.” Meanwhile, your daughter is eavesdropping from the kitchen with her latest black boyfriend Ryno (the one who’s been eating all the fuckin Welches fruit snacks), and they begin to laugh. Your daughter comes out into the living room and calls Ryno from the kitchen. Your wife suddenly yelps “ok T you can come out now!” The living room is now filled with the two women you love most (should’ve had a second kid fagit), and their two black ass boyfriends. Your wife whispers into your ear “enjoy”, meanwhile you’re confused as fuck and you’re late to your LLL battle. Wife/daughter begin sucking their boys off right in front of you and all you can do is stare in awe. You’re not sure whether to jerk off or cry. Instead, you reach into your pocket and grab your gay ass tape recorder and begin to record “Penthusiast LLL Recap Week 1”. Moans begin to fill the air as daddies girls begin to get railed on the couch right next to you, sandwiching you while you review the DeepSwon vs. potentialjo battle. You’re almost done rating each bar when Ryno reaches over and grabs the recorder from your hand. He screams into the device saying “ayo word to ma muva I’m in this gay nigga crib fuckin his daughter, BING BONG!” He drops the recorder onto the floor, and you’re hurt because he almost cracked the screen. You begin to tear up so you run into the guest bedroom where you’ll be living from now on, and you cry loudly into the 1 pillow that occupies the space. Twenty minutes later, you follow your wife’s command and empty out your closet and drawers from her and Tyrones room. Your life has spiraled out of control and you’re unsure what to do. You consider calling Dia on Discord but decide against it because he sounds too sweaty when he talks. Instead, you post your story on Netcees hoping to receive comfort and guidance, but instead you’re met with death and destruction. Everyone is clowning on you telling you mean things, even 2tripple0 and Dope Girl are calling you a fagit. The day is almost over and you’re sleepy. Life just isn’t the same anymore. Goodnight Brooke.
Zunto written by Fracture
Zunto is a top tier text battler. Let me repeat that, ZUNTO IS A TOP TIER TEXT BATTLER. He has beaten countless names, including legends from texts past and he is not even close to stopping. His unique style of creative gunbars has caused an uproar with the wordplay fanatics, but they’ll just have to deal with it. This guy can honestly beat anyone, just depends how motivated he is. I can definitely see him champing the season here if he sticks with it. Good luck legend.
Phalanx
I’m not sure where phalanx came from or how long he’s been battling for, but he’s definitely essential to the culture. Always down to help out with votes and rallying the troops to do their due diligence, this guy is great. When it comes to battling, he’s usually on point with solid wordplays and the execution is typically fire as well. I’ve seen some bangers from him and I can only imagine the quality he’s gonna bring to the LLL this season.
Bomb Bard
This is Kill Spree aka “a mod”. He’s a really good text battler when he shows up to the battle. He’s been killing the 1-2 punch league this season and is literally on his way to champing if he’s able to beat plethora this week. Good job little guy. When it comes to full text verses, my only concern is his wording. He always has dope concepts and ideas but due to lack of time - he tends to rush his execution. I think things will be different this season and we’ll see a Bomb Bard we’ve never seen before. Deadly.
Ryno
Ahh, Brooke Lesnar’s daughter new boyfriend. What’s up bro, or should I say “king”. Congrats on the new wifey. Anyways, a Ryno verse is always a pleasure to read. I know some say he’s been shaking off some rust lately but I think he’s pretty much ready to take names this season in the LLL. The guy can formulate a dope punch all around, concept, wording, execution, swag, you name it. I think we’ll be in for some good reads this season folks.
Cody Nash
Cody Nash aka Cry, an RB Legend hands down. Dude has unlimited wins and has proved himself to be a contender across the board. I’m excited to see him champ the league at some point and reek havoc. I’ve no doubt that he’ll drop some dope bars throughout the season, and I look forward to it. Props on joining and helping to keep the site active!
Fresh
Man o man this guy is goooooooood! Been battling for quite some time now and he’s always a threat when it comes to a battle. I’ve seen his best work on Netcees and if he drops like that, he’s going to beat most of the people in here easily. He’s gonna have to take his time with his wording and jot down some dope concepts, but if he does - he’s solid. Good job retard.
Stranger
The guy gets a lot of hate and I understand why, and sometimes it annoys me on the sudden changes in the forum skins etc.. But when it comes to battling, he’s been doing better consistently. I think maybe he can improve in some areas but if he keeps dropping a verse each week, he’s bound to keep improving. Assuming all the faggotry is in the past, there’s no reason to give Dia any grief these days. Let the man live. He’s our site admin now, our leader. We must respect.
Bahriman
The Netcees alias of Ahriman, what made you add the B? This guy has dropped some dope material and I wouldn’t be surprised if he champed the league as well. Hell, I’d shake his hand in real life. Welcome to the LLL!
KnoXville.
So this is the man himself, Rican, nice. I’ve heard a lot about you been haven’t seen too much material besides what you’ve posted in the 1-2 punch league so far. So far so good though, I like the material you’re bringing and I’m excited to see the impact you’ll have in the LLL. Stick with it and make sure you show for your battles man, it’s crucial. Good luck!
Mac.
A fan favorite with a bubbly cute little Hispanic Mexican boy personality. Everyone’s favorite little wetback. Everyone’s favorite little one loose sock untied shoes wearing peewee. Mac can drop some good material if he really puts his time and effort into it. I’ve seen some nice stuff on Netcees, but so far in the 1-2 punch league it seems he’s had a little trouble. No worries though, I’m sure he’ll work through the kinks and provide some dope shit this season in the LLL.
Justice Grimm
Sup man, I’m not quite sure who you are unless you’re Grimreaperz, then I kind of remember. Anyways, I’m looking forward to seeing what you can provide us with this season. You’ve been pretty alert and attentive so far since signing up, I’m eager to see the damage you can do. I want to say more here but I’m just not that familiar bro. Good luck!
Smash
Yo he’s really good at audio and at no showing.
Echelon
The best alias in the game, the dragon king, Sinacog. I cannot wait to read his punches week in and week out, love it whenever he posts.
malediction
Elegant Elephants newest name, unique I must say. EE has been around for a while apparently but I haven’t seen too much from him besides what he’s posted in the 1-2 punch so far. I think he has the right idea as far as concept go, but he needs to work on formulating better bars. Let’s see what he’s able to cook with this season. Good luck.
A Disciple
We’ll see what she can do.
Week 1 Matchups/Predictions
Week 1: Zunto (0-0) vs. Mac. (0-0) written written by Fracture
Zunto has been absolutely killing it in the 1-2 Punch League this season. After not seeing him battle seriously in about 3-4 years or so, I thought for sure he was done with it. I guess I was wrong, some new strand of motivation got in and caused him to drop those dope cartoon bars he’s so good at. Mac is a fan favorite, such a nice guy with a fun flirty personality. And as much as I like Mac, he’s gonna have to bring some serious heat in order to beat this current animal of a batter Zunto. A few weeks ago I would’ve said Mac would take this just by showing, but now things are different. Zunto 99/1
Week 1: Wuxia (0-0) vs. Stranger (0-0)
It almost seems as if Dia gets paired against all the good text battlers every week lol, but guess what - that’s how you elevate your craft. Dia has been steadily getting better lately, and I’m glad - because he’s going to need all he can get to beat the legend Brooke Lesnar (Wuxia). Not sure what’s up with this name Wuxia, quite honestly I hate it with a passion, but when it comes to battling - this guy can put on a show. Brooke hasn’t battled in a pretty long time, so I’m eager to see what happens in this one. Wuxia 60/40
Week 1: Phalanx (0-0) vs. Echelon (0-0)
Someone had to take the L against the dragon this week and I’m sorry bro but it had to be you. Sinacog aka Echelon is an absolute monster and top notch troll if I’ve ever seen one. I have my suspicions on who it is, but I could care less at this point. Phalanx is a dope battler and will undoubtedly win this battle without having to drop his best work. Phalanx 97/3
Week 1: Bomb Bard (0-0) vs. A Disciple (0-0)
Killing Spree has been trying to run away from battling in the LLL this week but nah that’s not happening. The mods have to show face, at least in the first few weeks - it’s crucial. Spree has been dope af in the 1-2 punch league so far, and I have no doubt he’ll take this one smoothly. Disciple….idek if this is a real person, if so then man o man. Clearly better in the topical realm, she’s going to need all she can get in order to stand a chance against Spree. Bomb Bard 55/45
Week 1: Ryno (0-0) vs. Elegant Elephant (0-0)
Ryno is as solid of a battler as they come. Never really read much from him on RB before the 1-2 Punch league started, but I usually liked his stuff on Netcees. Also posting a solid verse with a nice combo of wordplay and gun bars, coupled with humor sometimes. Elephant is a character and the shit he posts in a verse makes me laugh. He’ll have to pay someone to write his bars in order to win this week. Ryno 90/10
Week 1: Cody Nash (0-0) vs. Smash (0-0)
If I can remember correctly, Smash is an old audio head who is dope at just that, but I’m not sure if he ever elevated as far as text goes. I know for a fact he’s known to no show and I’m hoping that doesn’t become a habit for him this season. Cody Nash is a RapBattles.com legend who will go on to become the #1 text cum battler to ever live on this planet. He’s a legend. I’m not sure if Smash can beat this guy. Cody Nash 70/30
Week 1: Fresh (0-0) vs. Bahriman (0-0)
This one has underdog potential to be BOTW, and here’s why. Fresh is hit or miss if we’re being completely honest. I’ve seen him post his best work until the Netcees alias “Habitat” (horrible username choice but whatever), but recently I feel Fresh has been in a bit of a slump. Time away from the text hobby can definitely do that to a person but I’m sure he’ll bounce back from it and give us a dope showing this week. Bahriman is a good batter too, I’ve read some dope shit from him, especially on Netcees. If both bring their all to the table, then we’ll have ourselves a good one. Bahriman 55/45
Week 1: DeepSwon (0-0) vs. potentialjo (0-0)
Well well well, the battle we’ve all been waiting our whole lives for. Flying Carcass vs. plethorajo. This shit fuckin sucks We all lose
Outro
So this about sums it up boys and girls. Week one battles will go up shortly, and you’ll have a few extra days to prepare your verses. The schedule will be right on track by week 2. We have 16 battlers for this week, so I wanted to post battles and a mag up ASAP before we began to lost traction. See y’all soon, peace.
