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Thread: A Disciple's Thread

  1. #451
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    I’ve been and can’t find anything... thank you @Candy

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    I remember the ac dc convo... like I know what’s up. I do... I just don’t understand how I’m getting so hit and can’t get back to your protection!!!

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    It’s not free here... it’s $7.99 a month. What’s the extension for url .url?

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    @Candy

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    Ever since I woke up 7-8 years ago!!!! Like WHAT THE FUCK is going on?!?!??

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    This asshole need to stop popping my ear too!!! EVERYBODY off me!!!
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  2. #452
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread



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    Quote Originally Posted by A Disciple View Post
    I’ve been and can’t find anything... thank you @Candy

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    I remember the ac dc convo... like I know what’s up. I do... I just don’t understand how I’m getting so hit and can’t get back to your protection!!!

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    It’s not free here... it’s $7.99 a month. What’s the extension for url .url?

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    @Candy

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    Ever since I woke up 7-8 years ago!!!! Like WHAT THE FUCK is going on?!?!??

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    This asshole need to stop popping my ear too!!! EVERYBODY off me!!!
    Who popping your ear? What does this mean?
    Last edited by Cody Nash; November 27th, 2021 at 03:16 AM

  3. #453
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Yes thank god and I know...
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  4. #454
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by A Disciple View Post
    Yes thank god and I know...
    I ain’t thanked god in many a minute. What do you know?

  5. #455
    Princess Jonny Knows Candy's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    ill send another link of other sites i use or connect to..

    ps congrats on your other achievement

    https://convertio.co/image-converter/

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  6. #456
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Yeah I be wondering how you all come stacked like that in battles and accomplishments and stuff

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    Just got the my grave stone will read cause I did what I wanted to. It’s my ONE life why would I live it the way somebody tell me to especially when I’m not even happen. How does trying to get to and speak to my # 1 put ME or ANYBODY in a grave. Like yeah you obviously could do it - but why would you even want to?

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    You don’t stand for me! You don’t answer to god for me! I mean unless you really want to!

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    Happy*

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    I’ve been getting really dizzy and my memory is super bad... I’m gonna stop the antidepressants she just prescribed and she even said you don’t have to titrate down or anything. If it’s still progresses I’ll go to the dr.

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    Scared as fuck!!!! I been thru ENOUGH!!!!

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    I think it started when I started them so I pray. I say my prayers every day and it took me like 5 minutes to recall
    the words... I had to start with prayer number 2 to remember 1! I forgot to answer my family thanks giving text until just a couple of hours ago too. Couldn’t remember the word pistachio cause like that’s my favorite wash. Just telling you all way too much too! I’m not going to say I can’t help it. I’m just on my why should I have to!!!! Just the spin is crazy enough!
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  7. #457
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Yeah I was shaking a bit talking about it again... I think the ptsd is worse than the bipolar to deal with. Help me sleep?

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    I just told you @Cody _nash I am a fan of your work though... hope it’s not real disses and hard feelings!
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  8. #458
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by A Disciple View Post
    Yeah I was shaking a bit talking about it again... I think the ptsd is worse than the bipolar to deal with. Help me sleep?

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    I just told you @Cody _nash I am a fan of your work though... hope it’s not real disses and hard feelings!
    Hahah nah you’re good. No hard feelings. Thanks for taking it like a champ.

  9. #459
    Princess Jonny Knows Candy's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    getten off of the drugs does def help

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  10. #460
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    I rarely drink now or even smoke weed... I prefer the occasional cause to be honest if I go too sober I start dismissing shit as impossible and wanna forgive everybody. I can’t... that’s been my entire problem. I’m trying to learn just cause you forgive somebody or understand why they did it... it doesn’t mean you go back for more. I am so over being mental though... finding my outlet on a spiritual realm slowly and do have like a very small few friends that help. My brother and sister are both actively in sobriety and NA for like 30 yrs now and my father drank himself to death this year. So addiction is going to be something that always hangs over my head. I hate that too! I found addiction is a personality trait... I used to be a bad gambler too but now I hardly go to the casino and when I do there is no issue walking away so like I’ll get over this mindset too I believe. Are you in sobriety @Candy
    @Cody _nash that ear popping thing it’s like my ear pops... At the weirdest times while I’m being tapped or bitched. I thought when mobb deep said “throw a bug in your ear” it was a figure of speech but now I’m starting to think it was literal. I’ve heard buzzing and even a heart beat once. Like I never thought magic and voodoo was real but learned it really is and voodoo is getting me thru it. My ex is into it big time and he helps... he knows what he is talking about but won’t teach me. When he tried to throw back he ended up hitting me by accident. But I’m strong from being hit for years and years calling them panic attacks. And I even taught him on a stuck together panic go back to back push away. I had to push him out my car dropping him off once while it was still moving. I laugh about it now but when that eye came back down the next morning I was scared but since... I haven’t had to deal with that yet and it’s been YEARS. I joke about writing a manual how to get thru it and maybe will in rhyme one day like biggies 10 crack commandments.

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    On that Ac/Dc... I lost my virginity while on vacation at the beach. Me and that guy was walking and talking and he asked me what type of music I like... I remember saying the first thing that came to my head (I like AC/DC) the strange part of all that was I forgot all about him and that until I heard the 3 bangs. My life flashes and a pic just brought me right back to there. That’s really who I’m waiting on for advice too.

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    The funniest part about it though... like have my breaks and delusions or things that scared me was angels trying to remind me and the memory was just lost that I kept assuming what they meant was wrong.

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    That’s why I call it waking up or when I say I’m up now... cause now a lot of shit finally makes sense.
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  11. #461
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    yeh im sober now but i do have a valium addiction

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  12. #462
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    I never got into anything but weed, liquor, coke, and E... i have my own addiction issues but while everyone points at you like some drug addict they forget everybody does something and most just can’t admit to that!

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    My journal is helping me... hopefully I can embarrass myself less on here. My brother told me to watch serpent and the rainbow and a lot made sense. I even laughed a little. I just don’t understand why I’m so allergic to the shit though. But I showed him my serpent and the rainbow and totally trust the angels around me for the most part.
    I’m down to 2 friends... it hurts but I rather be dolo than disrespected. I’m sick as fuck again... I can’t even sleep until morning... it took 9 hours to fall asleep last night. I’m nauseous as fuck all the time, can hardly eat, throwing up every day with nothing coming out, posing... I’m so over all of this!!!! I just want to be me again! (
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  13. #463
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    i use to do the same things

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  14. #464
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    @Candy it’s tough with my brother on my ass now cause he been in NA like 30 years and is still active. But I like it. My dads passing definitely brought his family together again. I stopped drinking on June 23rd when he did pass with like a minor shot or two since but the other day it was real hard not to go to the liquor store and I don’t even usually drink like that. That’s why I say addiction is a personality trait like it’s all in your head but idk. I’m still struggling with my issues. How long do you have clean @Candy ? Are you in a program?

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    It took 9 hours again to fall asleep last night... every time I did I got tapped. Not by a ghost a doll... and like just really frustrated with creepers in the dark. Especially tied to me in religious ways without even asking. At first I thought it was we will call him my baby dad but then I realized it isn’t. He is the only guy that even strikes close in a religious way... except for Chris dying in my lap but he wouldn’t do me like this either. Alternative religions are real and I’m learning slow... just wish I was gifted like that and can strike back... any ways

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    @Candy when you say you used to do the same things what do you mean?
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  15. #465
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    x and wee with speed is what drugs i was on about ten years ago for like 5 years..
    but then i went clean
    i did programs but they were only to get work when i couldnt get work

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