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Thread: A Disciple's Thread

  1. #436
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    I'm having a good day today... I am SO happy I woke up at 10am and not 10pm!!! I did sleep for like 2 days though. I wrote some shit and had to look up some words and laughed cause substance abuse (osar) seems to be the key to it all... It's time to go 100 again I suppose. ;o( My Psych got a new position within the practice and I have to find a new one. I'm a little upset about that cause for once I had a good dr. I'm going to buy a journal I think and start writing there at night again. Bother you people less even though I appreciate the support like you wouldn't believe. @Candy I'm really impressed with your music... it's helping me to sleep too. Thank you for sharing.

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    Sadness Part I
    https://www.bing.com/search?q=sadnes...vLKS6MNJrgHgFo


    (Start at horns after the munks sing)

    This song used to scare the shit out of me when I was a kid
    But not as much as ever doing a bid
    This and “One” and now I play it sleep, I believe I won
    The wall is like a tree frozen in time…
    But do they lay awake or resting in rhyme
    The dark I saw, but it was the light that scared me
    Light as a feather stiff as a board, please come back Hail Mary
    My favorite part of church was the stories, the candles, and the black smoke thrown
    I showed up that day wearing purple, I know whose soul they will forever own
    I’ve been blessed with compassion, it is why I can forgive
    But you can’t see past an image either…
    It’s just how you choose to live
    You don’t want to make mistakes when you’re allowed to walk both sides
    But treason is usually the reason a whole usually divides…

    (After the girl says de woin and the munks)

    Demois so they say sirt enter light.

    Belle un du twee so lah for more. And in alla twee do you submise. Bestch to pway. Demois.
    Do you unto fall in a grace or do you vioux to lie un um bate. “Release early and often” know
    Demois - Why do you stay so busy bulte un da breach. Lay say no until a dawn… demois… voule be twine a heading. Osar, Osar in between a dream that is so heavy. Be win. Be last. Be fine.

    “In nominee Christi, Amen” ~ In the name of Christ Amen.

    (Breathing and let the song play out)

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    I told you all es tu meant so what ;o) LoL
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    CLA919

  2. #437
    Princess Jonny Knows Candy's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    its all yours

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    really awesome piece gl in the tournament

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  3. #438
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Thanks... you too @Candy
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    CLA919

  4. #439
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    I’ve been having to take Tylenol every night again for almost a week again cause the pain is unreal. I don’t know how to make them stop or how they got on me to even begin with.

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    I guess the way to describe it with the pain and how and where... it’s feels like you been beat down only your half way dead in a coma and when the pain stop like the hospital gave you morphine or something. Like it’s so impossible you can’t help but wonder if you’re dead or alive, more like in between... Cause my face and neck pain right now is unreal. But if I put my hands to my face and go to the people who are hurting me it will stop... I don’t fucking think so!!!! Everything I been thru since I woke up? Like if you people are that sick to sit there and watch and hurt someone just cause you think it’s some new blood... you’re dead wrong and I can’t stand with you!

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    The pain is unreal... do you know how many times I’ve had to go to sleep at night or try to sleep thru it especially at work? At least 100 EASY and even then I’m probably counting it WAY short. I’m to the point idgaf... I just want them all off me!!!! It’s a god but it is definitely not mine!!!!

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    Like I understand that too... but when it’s MY god... I’m just normal like when I went to go pick up my friend... when they started to hit to begin with...

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    Popping my ear or pinning my face and excruciating pain and shit doesn’t impress me and every last one of them has to leave me alone

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    The spirits and family that force me to kiss my hands, share my body with them, they try to change my god and my religion at that too!!!! They just have to go... they don’t even get the chance to explain or come back now. Why I’m the one sick because they’re the ones demanding without even a right to!
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  5. #440
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Yeah was tripping last night... feeling more sober on a mental level today though... smh I swear sometimes it’s like being drunk and waking up to hear all the stupid shit you did.
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  6. #441
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Did my hair today and noticed another 2 sections/strands been cut. I haven’t talked to the perve who slept me for a pic in 8 months though and my ex think he did even worse than that. I have a feeling it’s a stupid dumb ass bitch who trashed her own royalty over this shit. They all saying be careful cause I’ll catch some charges but why they allowed to then though? Like every single mother fucking time I start to believe it is over I am reminded. How am I supposed to find some coward ass queen bitch in the dark when I can’t even send the shit back or break free. Last night was the first night in YEARS I was able to sleep without tossing and turning or pain and sick shit and like... I’m just to the point of frustration beyond belief. I need 24 hours to think because I’m too angry to make any decisions right now.

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    “Hello from the Other Side” (

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    I’m ok cause I believe in god and us and pac... @Candy is that Australia in the video too? I’m used to the ironies but i suppose it was written maybe. Even the people helping to get me thru without even realizing it. I’m kinda tripping tonight, don’t feel good and gagging again. It’s my moms bday and I feel so bad I had a shot of henny and a nip to calm down. I should’ve just said no. This shit all around is just making some bitch out of me and making me feel so weak... but then I know they couldn’t get thru it (what they put me thru) their damn selves.

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    I feel their knife rake down my wrists all the time... I guess they don’t realize I come from suicide. I’m not the one that should have to die over this and definitely not over a weak sick ass bitch like you that hits and hides and only hits cause you know I can’t hit you back. You just going to have to do it yourself if you want me dead. For real cause I’m tired AS FUCK!!!

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    I fear god and my council... not you bitches!!!

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    I got my ghosts back I think... my songs were changing by themselves tonight again. Maybe tonight I can feel safe again for the first time in 8 years but idk... I feel so sick right now... idfk

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    Maybe it’s only 7... I lose count
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  7. #442
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    we got sticks like that well take care the fact you call it nip when you sleep is uber cute we call it kip.. or having a kipper

    anywhoot i hope you keep flushing out what you got in thought and keep it real love xoxo

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  8. #443
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Thanks @Candy !!!

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    A kipper LOL that’s cute... are you native or from the us originally?
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  9. #444
    FUCK YOU! Spree's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by A Disciple View Post
    Thanks @Candy !!!

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    A kipper LOL that’s cute... are you native or from the us originally?
    You got discord?

  10. #445
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by A Disciple View Post
    Thanks @Candy !!!

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    A kipper LOL that’s cute... are you native or from the us originally?
    im from aus but i work in the us

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  11. #446
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    @kill _spree what’s discord?

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    Somebody is on my body and rumbling my thighs and I don’t want them on me... that creeper shit isn’t sexy to me. Get them off me I don’t know how to!!!!

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    You can’t just go and tag any bitch you want freak!! And yeah I caught my hair cut too!!!! Like get off me for real!!!! NO MEANS NO!!!!

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    I’m in sex therapy right now and it’s not helping they’re making it WORSE!!!
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  12. #447
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Sex therapy is helping cause I’m 43 and I deserve to have sex again too... but the creeper making shit worse. I don’t understand why all the abuse to even begin with?!??!?

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    The psychic said not to have sex when I feel like that but I waited an entire year!!! Like 7-8 years type shit? After my ex already droubted me 3 years too???? I’m starting to think some maggot I don’t even want think he can put my vv on tap and shit!!!!
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  13. #448
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    vv very cute xoxo

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  14. #449
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    Something helped... that was LONG over due!!!! Not perfect but I got a few amazing minutes in!! ... ever since

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    @Candy LoL

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    Vagina just sound so ugly... and I never had a problem saying pussy before either until since then too!

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    I bought a journal to write in each night before bed to establish a bed time routine too since it takes hours and hours to fall asleep... so I’ll try to bother you all less!!! But I do appreciate you all tolerating me and my issues!!!

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    I bought a journal to write in each night before bed to establish a bed time routine too since it takes hours and hours to fall asleep... so I’ll try to bother you all less!!! But I do appreciate you all tolerating me and my issues!!!

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    What app do you guys use to convert pics into URL? @Candy @Soule
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  15. #450
    Princess Jonny Knows Candy's Avatar
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    Re: A Disciple's Thread

    i use online free stuff

    https://image.online-convert.com/

    just search google free online image converter

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