...There's a hole in my mind
where a yo-yo spins
Eternally. Up and down
When I think of Peace, it spins around
Noosing my neck; depleting my blood
Stopping it, in its track
It's never safe, going to hell
It's never easy, coming back
...There's a hole in my mind
where a yo-yo spins
Eternally. Up and down
When I think of Peace, it spins around
Noosing my neck; depleting my blood
Stopping it, in its track
It's never safe, going to hell
It's never easy, coming back
Last edited by Emily; May 7th, 2016 at 09:02 AM
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i think the harshness of this is what i like about it. so set in stone that things are repetitive, the same thoughts, over and over, getting darker every time they enter your mind. peace being that end all moment, wanting it, even thinking about the emptiness, the freedom, ties up the noose and all but wraps itself around your neck. i really liked the last 2 lines. it tied everything up (no pun intended, just kidding, the pun is intended)
anyway, i really liked this. the reality, the anguish, it's great. good read. it's one of those pieces that looms over me, a hint of worry unsure if it should be there. but, great writing, and great way of conveying emotion, or lack thereof. i'm not sure.
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the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.
Noosing my neck.
That was s great phrase. This is way to short lil mama. Write soem more lol
This had a good feel to it and it was buidling nicely. Wish there was more though
DamNation
Inception-like. Cool. A sense of despair and hopelessness... that feel of something constantly eluding you. You weaved all this together to create some kind of melancholic/somber mindfuck. Real dope. I'd say it's lacking content but sometimes, 'less is more'.
I'm a depressed happy cunt. Don't fuck with me. I love you, but I'm crazy.[/I]
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