The Michael Myers Monologue

[Nigma]

The Michael Myers Monologue




Gazed towards the darkened sky, the glaze inside my eyes had thickened
Remainder of the carcass, pried apart from life, is dried and lies inside my kitchen
It reminds me of his dying vision, giving a bigger and wider sized existence in my eyes
Habitual demise of my mind, had I been equipped with the gift of feelings, I’d admire him
The ceilings getting tighter as the ticking talks. Must find him. Got him spotted
Plot demise while clocks are chiming. I've got a toxic mind that's not to copy
And there's something and someone I must be stopping, robbed my hobby
Knot his noose, pursuing Krueger's movements till hes slumped or crawling
bludgeoned till his gloves are bloody, gut him and then dump the body
Cries for help mean nothing when the ones you call to want you rotting
Slaughtered him and brought the body to the manor, stopped, slipping hand to pocket
Picked the padded lock, pushed him past it, walked to the aqueduct
Was that a gasping lung? Nah, its nothing.
He’s no vampire, still I grabbed a hunk of his casket and stabbed his stomach
packed and grunted him up past the hump. Watched as he splashed and sunk
Dust my palms and saw my hands looked funny. Hearing echoes.. Nana’s calling
She passed before I snapped but now she's back to haunt me. That's alarming
Phantoms gather from the slash zone, they amass into a ghastly body
Massive. Each attaching. When the gaps are black, a man is walking
I managed to watch his face embrace the fading colour, he paints with blood
Shoved a hand my way and filleted my stomach with his bladed gloves
The story fades to dust and is absorbed into a horde of evil
While I snore asleep he contorted me to believe I'm more than equal
Now he's storing all the horror in a horcrux for a gory sequel

[ILLunatic]

ATTENTION @Nigma,

This automated notification is a friendly reminder for you to provide (2) links to other member submissions that you left adequate feedback to. If you have already posted your links, disregard this notification.

[Nigma]

Have fed 2 already, will edit links in here later

[OG Maestro]

Nigma you write in a unique style. I feel like you should adopt the long bar style though.
Because your lines lack matched meter that could make them flow so much better than they already do.

That said, I'll discuss the content.

I like the title. Cool name, eye-catching.

Sadly, people don't feed pieces in OM based on the title(solely)
But, the author as well.

Imagine if someone like...idk. King, GoW or Mantra posted a thread called "The Michael Myers Monologue".
Could you imagine the amount of people that would flock to it just because they wrote it?

Anyways, the content was mechanically clean.
It did justice to the mind of a psychopath, even going deeper into the psychology behind one of them as is demonstrated in the following bar:

It reminds me of his dying vision, giving a bigger and wider sized existence in my eyes
Habitual demise of my mind, had I been equipped with the gift of feelings, I’d admire him

Not bad, I enjoyed it.

swoop swoop. swag.

[Emily]

Nigma, this is great.
I'm going to come back to it.
I'm cooking and reading lol.

I'll feed this after I feed me lol

[Emily]

Nigma, I love your writing style. You tell a good story. You stack it with not only imagery that's insane but also emotion.
You have rhymes that are cool and help the flow and your pieces are always an interesting read.
Even if I'm not into the subject, suddenly I am. This was no exception.

"Gazed towards the darkened sky, the glaze inside my eyes had thickened
Remainder of the carcass, pried apart from life, is dried and lies inside my kitchen..."

That's a great intro. You have so much going on in two sentences.
I love the flow. And the descriptive way you go about things.

"The ceilings getting tighter as the ticking talks. Must find him. Got him spotted
Plot demise while clocks are chiming. I've got a toxic mind that's not to copy
And there's something and someone I must be stopping..."

Your flow is beautiful. The imagery is good through out the piece. You don't drop the bar.
You keep the suspense happening, which makes me read it more than once, just to suck it all up.

"Knot his noose, pursuing Krueger's movements till hes slumped or crawling
bludgeoned till his gloves are bloody, gut him and then dump the body
Cries for help mean nothing when the ones you call to want you rotting..."

Your poetic murder is beautiful. Unique phrase with ...the ones you call want you rotting.

"He’s no vampire, still I grabbed a hunk of his casket and stabbed his stomach
packed and grunted him up past the hump. Watched as he splashed and sunk..."

That's romantically sick. And I love it.

"Shoved a hand my way and filleted my stomach with his bladed gloves
The story fades to dust..."

The word 'filleted' ----- perfect. And flow --- so nice.

"While I snore asleep he contorted me to believe I'm more than equal
Now he's storing all the horror in a horcrux for a gory sequel." --- You lined it up well. Leaving me wanting more. Well done.

Ok, this is my negative....You used the word 'body' three times. lol.
That's it.

Imo, this was a great read. I loved the vibe I got from it. It kind of felt real. You pulled it off well.

Top Job Nigma.

Keep bringing it.