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Thread: Hit Start

  1. #1
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    Hit Start

    Hit Start

    ...somebody hit start on the stopwatch
    Still married to the game, brought a suit from Moss Bros
    Woke from suspended animation to recover the lost cross
    Intended anticipation of another red hot plot
    Let me brush off the dust; cough the smoke from my lungs
    And bang though the mental crust with my opium drums
    Are you focusing hun? Better keep your mind steady
    All synapses firing for this Devilish divine medley
    Bet I'm keep mine ready; the 20 pack alcoholic
    Redecorating your bedrooms like a Jackson Pollock
    The morgue gates are wide open; lead to where the fearless tread
    'Cause if your name is 6-feet then you're never really dead...



    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...Problems!-quot

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...811-Perception

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...-night-a-troll

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?483081-Guide

    Sup RB, miss me?
    Last edited by Johnny 6-feet; October 4th, 2014 at 04:58 PM

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  2. #2
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    ATTENTION @Johnny 6-feet,

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  3. #3
    Cunnilingus Oxymoron's Avatar
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    Re: Hit Start

    From the first two lines, I get a feeling that you have woken up, forgotten about your poetical ties by doing your every day life. Time to start, again. By using the stop watch as a metaphor it says that you can stop anytime you like. But you can also just start again whenever. Moss says to me you stay connected to nature.


    Let me brush off the dust; cough the smoke from my lungs
    And bang though the mental crust with my opium drums
    Are you focusing hun? Better keep your mind steady
    All synapses firing for this Devilish divine medley
    Bet I'm keep mine ready; the 20 pack alcoholic
    Redecorating your bedrooms like a Jackson Pollock
    I personally liked these lines a lot. Alcohol mixed with other drugs. ahh. stuff can get pretty crazy. Abstract feel to these lines works well for the theme of time. Thats more alcohol than i would use though, haha. That could be, umm interesting. One thing that feels weird to me is the "Bet im keep" wording. Sounds a little odd to me. I'll? I've kept? but yeah other than that, was flowing along nicely with this. The jackson pollok reference solidifys the abstract feel to your art piece.



    Hmm the last 2 lines are probably the weakest. Alive burial? Hmm im not 100% getting this. i think youre saying you were burried feet first but youre taller than 6 foot so you can still breath. If so thats pretty cool. digging that.

    not a bad little short read I enjoyed it.
    Last edited by Oxymoron; October 5th, 2014 at 12:35 AM
    MoistPuss'
    Smoother than smooth

    You know. You know. Cause when you know, you know. You Know.

    The mind without a brain
    \i/

  4. #4
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: Hit Start

    And that’s how you do flow. Oh yeah.
    Top flow.
    By the first bar, you’ve sucked the reader in.
    That’s a great first line.
    Nice rhymes in this, cool content, but that flow,
    is something else.

    Keep it coming. Give us more next time.

    Great drop.


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  5. #5

    Re: Hit Start

    You started off a little slow, no consistent multis to speed up the read. The end was much better. Wish you could have added a little more seemed more like a rant piece but nonetheless it was good.

  6. #6
    Kami no kotoba. Wordz AhGod.'s Avatar
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    Re: Hit Start

    wattup johnny, you might not remember me as we only did one collab together with smoka a long while back.
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