Acoustic Noose

[Ntalek.]

Acoustic Noose.
Samajae (1-3)ft. Antihero (4-6) an Omnipotent Atheneum Collab

Strings singing hymns mute.
in my natural admiration
do you see how beautiful it'd be if we ran?
through smoldering dust specticals
the fire inside me only yearns for a
shake of a time capsule and a wave
of a magic wand....

slaved to the captions
i haven't learned to read yet
what is a word? what is; what me
and what have we become
solid notes off the lips speak
a language unknown.
Foreign tunes to a silent
melody. Humming over
a lingering display of decades.


sign old songs w/o a drum or a beat
just humming in a unknown speech
thinking life is within my reach
my waters' are not Muddy
smokestack my lightening
pig legs and nostrils
howling at the wolf
trying to figure out
why i'm here
i'd rather disappear with the notes
of the unsung.
Indeed.
My rhythm has clashed
a string broke and hit the high hat.

Bloody fingertips skim across brass,
playing one last symphonic tune.
Singing through cigarette burnt lymph notes,
a plead for help through a message
-- a metaphor nobody understood.

The crowd sips their toxic porridge;
overpriced 'medicine' for broken souls
Around dim candle lights & polluted air,
Spreading like a plague in the barroom
-- the musician is their vampire leader.

Tonight, that monster will write his last song,
before using his guitar strings to climb down
to the stage of the underworld.
To perform it in front of ghosts just like him,
who were sick of living in a decaying world.

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...a-(Vice-Versa)
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...480277-Insight

[ILLunatic]

ATTENTION Samajae,

This automated notification is a friendly reminder for you to provide (2) links to other member submissions that you left adequate feedback to.

[KnowP]

Damn this was crazy stacked with rhymes, metaphors and similes. Vocab was just nuts and the scheme was solid af too. both of yall brough tthe house down with this joint. a few of my fav lines were:

Strings singing hymns mute.
in my natural admiration
do you see how beautiful it'd be if we ran?

slaved to the captions
i haven't learned to read yet
what is a word? what is; what me
and what have we become
solid notes off the lips speak
a language unknown.

my waters' are not Muddy
smokestack my lightening
pig legs and nostrils
howling at the wolf

this segment was fire!!! dope!!!

trying to figure out
why i'm here
i'd rather disappear with the notes
of the unsung.

Singing through cigarette burnt lymph notes,
a plead for help through a message
-- a metaphor nobody understood.

COLD!!!

The crowd sips their toxic porridge;
overpriced 'medicine' for broken souls
Around dim candle lights & polluted air,

Again pure dopeness

Tonight, that monster will write his last song,
before using his guitar strings to climb down
to the stage of the underworld.
To perform it in front of ghosts just like him,
who were sick of living in a decaying world.

yeah soo after reading this a second time, the Anti's portion was my fav, but Sams was just as ill. nothing bad to critque here. ONly part i didnt feel was the vampire line but it came together at the end. solid collab gents. solid.

[Ntalek.]

Bumps..

[memoir]

First off I really liked the title of the piece 'acoustic noose' something beautifully dark about that. sama, you did a great job here, the piece started very well and you built up a solid story and each stanza added more to open up for anti. you had many great moments in the opening stanzas and your writing in my opinion was very relaxing and calm, great word choices and layed out to tempt the reader into the story of the piece. between the two of you the story took a dramatic twist as anti stepped up and a twist I liked. The piece became rather dark and the contract between the last 3 and first 3 stanzas was night and day. Anti you added some detailed and heavy imagery here and it made the piece hold more weight towards the end, sama, did a great job and building the scene and you described it and added some meat to those bones, your.writing here was quite dark and worked well with the calm, well chose imagery presented in the first half of the piece. A good collaboration here, the kind of writing I like. If you two ever collaboration again and are looking for a third, throw me in.

(sorry for the shitty grammar. I typed this on my phone)

[Ntalek.]

bumps

[Ntalek.]

wow PC is dead!!!

[Ntalek.]

tops!

[Zen the Dude]

Seriously? If everyone here spent time leaving feed instead of bumping their own piece, this would be pretty active.

[English]

bump?