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Thread: Help!? Suggesting? (My Verse)

  1. #1
    Newbie MC SoN's Avatar
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    Help!? Suggesting? (My Verse)

    I has had been writing for an almost two years and nothing are good on my skills yet. And I never battle onto anybody yet. I don't want to enter in and looks stupid. I want to write more and see if I can get the feedback by my any weakness I made... Thank you for reading this time...

    Here I wrote...

    Verses:

    I'll rip this fool apart, into many pieces of notes/
    Quit whining brat, your spit from a cancer heart/

    Get off the game, my style is all over the flame/
    to set a danger explosion, l roll violent in a spit/

    Don't let me catch u, l get your head very nervous/
    You be sweat and curious, as into Mario King Kong/

    You broke as low pennies under da prices of candy/
    You not of beast enough, l take down like wolverine/

    I put a bullet in your lung, takes the health away/
    You struggle in a rap tongue, It's time to zip it up/

    You are whack outside a fight, fell on the ground/
    You got smack by da innocent children are bright/

    I dunno... you tell me what I should change.. =/

  2. #2
    Newbie MC SoN's Avatar
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    Re: Help!? Suggesting? (My Verse)

    Up..

  3. #3
    Newbie MC SoN's Avatar
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    Re: Help!? Suggesting? (My Verse)

    Um.. shit.. no complain...?
    I guess that means good luck..
    See u around in the battle then..

    ~2/10~

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Raw Talent's Avatar
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    Re: Help!? Suggesting? (My Verse)

    maybe u should work on ur english

  5. #5
    Newbie MC SoN's Avatar
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    Re: Help!? Suggesting? (My Verse)

    Okay. I do my best. Thank for hint.

  6. #6
    Fck What A Hater Gota Say BozKurt's Avatar
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    Re: Help!? Suggesting? (My Verse)

    none of those lines rhyme lol ... i dont think u wrote for 2 years i think this is one of the first verses you wrote ... got alot of learning to do man ... rap is not something u do its something u live talk about ur life ..

  7. #7
    "Damz" I Am Muzik Damz's Avatar
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    Re: Help!? Suggesting? (My Verse)

    haha, Shitt. Made me feel good about myself.
    (Trippin on some skittles. dont worry.)
    ill be bAXK
    ["TheIntel"]



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  8. #8
    Its Me Dekken's Avatar
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    Re: Help!? Suggesting? (My Verse)

    yea u need writing help, try rhyming ur bars homie.

  9. #9

    Re: Help!? Suggesting? (My Verse)

    no heart

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