The Last Job.

[Young Twotone]

i get ready for the job with my gun in my palm,
look to the sky and pray as i read a few psalms,
tell my wife that ill be comin in late for dinner,
dont know if ill see her again this may be the last time i kisser,
keep my job hidden from the people i love most,
lemme finish this mission then ill have time to boast,
load the six shells into my smith and wesson,
time to bring justice with my three-fifty-seven,
theres four targets that need hit and i only got six shots,
only use three bullets and you hear the shells drop,
shot through one man and into another,
the other two swiftly dove under cover,
i thought i saw where they went so i quickly hit the corner,
felt a sharp pierce through my chest and my body grew warmer,
i grab for my heart and feel thick substance,
look at my hand and see red and my blood started rushin,
im just a hitman that was sent on a mission,
to kill these 4 men without second guessin,
this was supposed to be my last job now i guess its a lesson,
that even assassins arent unbreakable weapons,


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=388014

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=388225

[Young Twotone]

Feed Please? Negative or Positive? I Dont Give A Shit.

[Young Twotone]

Feed?

[Esc0BosS]

ok, on the real this was weak, tha story/topic was basic like some amatuer shit its just too straight forward and there's nothing to captivate the mind, no stand out lines to make a nigga be like 'oh shit' and the language was just boring...there's nothin to it...no style no substance

flow was ok for most tha part, multiz was weak, iunno aint really much to say bout this,

try pickin a better topic, incorporate some multiz and/or work on your vocab

never a hate thing, it is what it is, buh take it how u want...stay up #1

[*SuBsTaNcE*]

forgot your links man

[Phazed*]

This was an average drop imo... The structure was basic, so were the rhymes. Nothing special to note.. it just seemed like a quick key without any real heat behind it at all. Needs some elevation for sure, content wise and rhyme scheme specifically. A little vocab and some multis would do wonders for your work fam