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Thread: Not So Peachy.

  1. #1
    The Zen Master.
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    Not So Peachy.


    .
    .
    .
    Not So Peachy
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    .
    Let me tell you about this town were everything seems peachy on the outside.
    Yah right, deaths on the insight n nothings peachy on the inside.
    Let me tell you about this town were everything seems peachy on the outside.
    Yah right, deaths on the insight n nothings peachy on the inside.

    If you’re a tourist and drove through,
    You’d have a peachy view…..
    But it’s not true if you look a little deeper,
    Suicidal fathers – a bunch of grim reapers,
    Cell phones, beepers and also wife beaters.
    Just a bunch of life stealers with good jobs,
    Foods on the table, but you can still hear cries n sobs.
    Still a bunch of proud dogs that can’t control there kids,
    Police on patrol but they don’t break up shit.
    Countless loses to overdoses,
    And trust me none of those were sober loses.
    The good die young with drunk drivers,
    And of course were left with the punk survivors.
    You can’t see past the lifestyle of cars an mansions,
    A town that looks like the Hamptons, but dirty like the hamper.

    Let me tell you about this town were everything seems peachy on the outside.
    Yah right, deaths on the insight n nothings peachy on the inside.
    Let me tell you about this town were everything seems peachy on the outside.
    Yah right, deaths on the insight n nothings peachy on the inside.

    Kids go to school, to take xanex an roxys,
    Before the panic, the kids graduated to oxys.
    N the teachers start to wonder were the parents went,
    Before you know it half my class is laid up on heroin.
    WTF is wrong with this fiasco cocaine played its part also,
    Ripped hearts apart slow because of your parent’s dough.
    Couldn’t someone have stepped in an put an end?
    Buck the trend of heroin and apprehend my friends?
    Back then it all seemed all to crazy, when I was spaced out,
    In a daze B, someone could have stopped it but we were all too lazy.
    Me? I was just in to the haze G, at times a little coca leaf,
    But part of my life was all to brief, now I have to live with the grief.
    Overdoses and doctors scrambling – but fuck my bitter rambling,
    Might as well slit your wrists cus life if what you’re gambling!!
    You can’t see past the lifestyle of cars an mansions,
    A town that looks like the Hamptons, but dirty like the hamper.



    Let me tell you about this town were everything seems peachy on the outside.
    Yah right, deaths on the insight n nothings peachy on the inside.
    Let me tell you about this town were everything seems peachy on the outside.
    Yah right, deaths on the insight n nothings peachy on the inside.
    .
    .
    .
    Last edited by Hexzen; January 28th, 2009 at 02:09 PM

  2. #2

  3. #3
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    Re: Not So Peachy.

    Countless loses to overdoses,
    And trust me none of those were sober loses.
    The good die young with drunk drivers,
    And of course were left with the punk survivors.

    These lines stood out the most and the whole piece was pretty dope. Keep it up man and hope to see more from you...

  4. #4
    The Zen Master.
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    Re: Not So Peachy.

    thx for the feed dawg. up?

  5. #5
    Wordbenders Jawn Raw's Avatar
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    Re: Not So Peachy.

    This was a pretty cool piece man and thanks for the feed on my om with bilayer sounds like you thoroughly enjoyed it. I enjoyed this as well i might have to read it again.

    anyway the imagery was really good man and the word choice with it was well done as well. The storyline was really neat and the flow was pretty fluent as well. nice job with it man, i can't really say anything negative about it. this has something really generic about it, I don't know but there's quite a few decent quotables in here. good job

  6. #6
    Situations at a struggle. Bstill's Avatar
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    Re: Not So Peachy.

    this piece had nice imagery mann you also had some lines that i would or re worded just a bit to make fit the flow alil better but other then that the imagery wasy well done emotion was set and transitioned all over this piece it was well thought out and well Explained description could of been alil better but that came with time of the piece nice drop

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  7. #7
    The Zen Master.
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    Re: Not So Peachy.

    weerd thx for the feed alll, uppin.

  8. #8
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    Re: Not So Peachy.

    my bad dawg for takin so long to reply


    the shit was nice it painted a nice pic reqading it to myself i lost flow somewhat

    but outloud it flowed alot better to me

    this was sick as fuck

    Kids go to school, to take xanex an roxys,
    Before the panic, the kids graduated to oxys.
    N the teachers start to wonder were the parents went,
    Before you know it half my class is laid up on heroin.


    thats sick man and raw as fuck


    good drop

  9. #9
    The Zen Master.
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    Re: Not So Peachy.

    ^dont worry about it dawg, thx for the feed homie.

  10. #10
    The Zen Master.
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    Re: Not So Peachy.

    upp please.

  11. #11
    The Zen Master.
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    Re: Not So Peachy.

    dam, started out wit some good feed now nothing:/

  12. #12
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Re: Not So Peachy.

    This was a very good and real drop. I have to say that I enjoyed reading this piece not only because it was real talk but because you executed it very well. I think that you had a good rhyme scheme and pretty much everything was done great! I loved the part about the drunk drivers! Nice job

  13. #13
    Banned Agony.'s Avatar
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    Re: Not So Peachy.

    Kids go to school, to take xanex an roxys,
    Before the panic, the kids graduated to oxys.
    N the teachers start to wonder were the parents went,
    Before you know it half my class is laid up on heroin.
    WTF is wrong with this fiasco cocaine played its part also,
    Ripped hearts apart slow because of your parent’s dough.
    Couldn’t someone have stepped in an put an end?
    Buck the trend of heroin and apprehend my friends?


    whoa ncie imagery in these bars...got creative too...ncie sht



    Overall this drop was pretty well solid.. Nice creaativity and imagery here. I kinda wish it flowed better cause i got confused in many parts. But it picked back up tho. Keep dropping enjoyable pieces like this and we will keep feeding. Keep it up bro all for scytso!!!!!!!


    THEY HAVE YET TO SEE CRAZY

  14. #14
    The Zen Master.
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    Re: Not So Peachy.

    ^haha fosho, thx for the feed homie.

  15. #15
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    Re: Not So Peachy.


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