True Story

[Edgar Allen]

Feed:
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234259
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234611


What you know bout Food Stamps//
Pitchin loose grams to feed ya lil girl this world turns you into a new man...its hard//Life is like OZ...we free??//
Its like we behind bars no peace, freedom of speach.. we exorcise ours//
Pain Is deep....but shows weakness so I hide my scars//
It a shame....economically we defined by our cars//
Whose ta blame??...this aint the world that was designed by our GOD//
So I stay focused ..and keep my mind aligned wit da stars//
While exorcisin my art...fuck time In the box//
Im tryna rise on the charts I line up my darts to better myself//
I walk the streets where all the veterans fell//
This Is Heaven and Hell where survival comes as second nature//
We all pressed for paper player..the best of me Is yet to be seen//
Me and a pen make a hell of a team//
Its incredible I ride beats exceptionally..I dont blow smoke I breathe fire an bless you wit heat//
Lyrically not nare nigga stands next ta me see//
So approachin me Is useless...stupid//
the pain plus the the fire In my veins run fluid//
Verbally fluent my vocals on wax defines music...step In a booth and give mic's...3rd degree bruises//
Any tendencies a steppn' ta me you'll get the best me G....I's destined to be..I rep for da streets//
My blood pressure boils underneath my skin...and my emotions run deep through the ink In my pen//
MOTHERFUCKER!

"Feed" me please!

[~.A.R.~]

you lack complexity and topic is kinda of lackluster, you could try and be more creative but overall i felt you was saying, just be a LiL more lyrical

oo1

[~ladie_streetz~]

the title wasn't decent, didnt tell much about what your Om was going to be about. another thing, your rhymes aren't good, so work on trying to rhyme your shit well because nothin rhymes, if you wanna tell a story, do that in short stories feel me? the vocab wasn't good at all, structure was bad, so elevate on your flow and also maybe a dofferent topic would even it out to somethin better than this.

[CrazyCarl]

I thought the first half was better. Had some alright concepts, just got to practice and know when to elaborate on them. With your username I anticipated something poetic. You could have been, especially in the first half if you would have went more in depth.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234963

[MISTA GRIM]

yah it was decent the topic is kinda played out. make it more complex maybe sum multis. that's it overal it was like a 7 out of 10
+NO hate JUst Elevate+

[waterflow]

fuck the haters u an ametuer but 4 1 u hot so keep ya head up

[MISTA GRIM]

I ain't hatin bitch, it's the truth.