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Thread: New Kid

  1. #1
    Alize59
    Guest

    New Kid

    Alize 59 here 2 state my name/
    drop some linez n some rhymes, n claim my fame/
    gettin chickz n hot whipz, is my aim/
    and 4 da rest of my dayz ima stay loyal 2 da game/
    juss turned 13 and spittin barz of flames/
    people doubtin me, saying dat my rapz is a shame/
    but all of dat hatin, pushed 1 thought in my mind/
    2 prove dem baztards wrong n stay on da grind/
    n dats wut i did, now im goin from nuttin 2 something/
    battle da people dat said i was wack, n easily cut em/
    slice em n dice em, but diz aint no scary movie/
    flow aint da best yet, but i still keep da freestyles groovie/
    wit da weight i hol in diz rap shit, it'll b hard 2 move me/
    im tryin 2 get betta n i spit errywhere i go so itz hard 2 lose me/
    everymove i make is wise so itz hard 2 fool me/
    gimme some feed back so i can become a pro from bein a noobie/
    even if u do or don't like watchu juss heard/
    you'll be hearin more from diz kid i give u my word/ holla
    Last edited by Alize59; July 29th, 2005 at 11:13 PM

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Alize59
    Guest
    uppin for feed

  4. #4
    ToK SiK
    Guest
    u had a lil flow in that was all goin for ya well ya structure was iight but ur wordplay killed u work on that alot usin more complexed words jus keep elevatin playa....



    3/10

  5. #5
    Alize59
    Guest
    Thanks 4 da feed. Still want more.

  6. #6
    Force-Feed you Poison Shamcobra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    7th layer of hell
    Age
    37
    Posts
    1,134
    Battle Record
    19-5
    Not too bad oof a piece- the lyrics wernt to special, but you had a very nice if not perfect flow goin. Come with a little bit harder lyrics and more creative punchlines but keep the flow you got and you should be pretty nice. Keep writtin.

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  7. #7
    Alize59
    Guest
    Alright i'll keep all of that in mind. I appreciate the honesty - keep em comin

  8. #8
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Manchester, England
    Posts
    20
    Battle Record
    0-1
    not bad for a try our kid, not bad at all.
    Alreet for someone thats new to this rapping ting.
    Some lines were oK and your flow was good too kidda.
    Safe.

  9. #9
    Alize59
    Guest
    alright good lookz 4 da feed - up'n 4 more

  10. #10
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    Closed. The links you used were for this thread. When you post links you need to reply to other peoples pieces and post the links to THEIR piece in YOUR thread.

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