Quagmire

[Endeva.]

A tale of terror may stay forever in your soul
A great dilemma to endeavor if you’re not very old
A mistake one November can leave your life cold
With Happiness stole you’re condoled by your friends
Who all recommend something, but why do they pretend…
“it’ll be alright in the end” when? …They know shit
It depends on the person, and where they mentally sit
And If they’re equipped with the strength not to quit
Can you grit your teeth, and draw relief from within
Are you stronger underneath than you are on the skin
Have you self-belief, are you determined to win
Or has sin soaked in, and hung you out to dry
Leaving you hanging like a rag in the thunderous skies
The demise of your life, by the knife shaped problem
That keeps revolving when you think you’ve solved ‘em
Or is yours involving disease, the despair and torment
Where life freezes through an event id describe as hell sent,
It’s the irony of life, a large percent is fucked up
So there’s only really one question, that’s… do I stay stuck?


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...276post2653276

here you go credz, your other link...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=207587

[Ad Lib]

This was awesome, I felt it is to short, just because it was really good I wanted to keep reading.

Anyway, I wouldn't change anything because I felt it all made sence and was put out nicely. Really clear, and a smooth read.

Great piece.

Ad-Lib

[HighClass]

“it’ll be alright in the end” when? …They know shit
It depends on the person, and where they mentally sit

^ Im loven that right there ^

I liked readin this, to be honest I dont know what Quagmire means... but I thought this write was pretty nice. You seem very straight forward with alot you write, it kinda shows you got a strong personality. So thats good if people can notice that through your lyrics. It was a nice flow, and over all a good piece....

( plz return the favor and peep " Dont Be Fooled " in the Open Mic )

[Endeva.]

to be honest I dont know what Quagmire means

it just mean like swamp, i was using the word in the context of like stuck in the mud

ill hit your OM in a sec

[Endeva.]

ok, no sleeping...

[The Franchi$e]

that was mad deep and i love the dibersity you used and i dont even gotta tell you that youre articulant one of the best so far that ive seen but im a new nigga so hey.... but theres one thin the shit was mad short i was feelin it and it cut off kinda quick but it was good on a lotta levels, vocabulary wise, concept wise, you can tell it was well thought out... lol niggas may have to have a websters wit them to understand some of the shit you said in there, hell the title isnt that normal but i got it....

[..::~BIGWUN~::..]

“it’ll be alright in the end” when? …They know shit
It depends on the person, and where they mentally sit

^ Im loven that right there ^

I liked readin this, to be honest I dont know what Quagmire means... but I thought this write was pretty nice. You seem very straight forward with alot you write, it kinda shows you got a strong personality. So thats good if people can notice that through your lyrics. It was a nice flow, and over all a good piece....

( plz return the favor and peep " Dont Be Fooled " in the Open Mic )

Quagmire is an oyster. Also that perverted character from Family Guy.

[Endeva.]

its a swamp, damn it

[Endeva.]

...

[TheKing]

vote On My Battle Since I'm giving you feedback (the link is in my siggy)

it was good, flow was a little, just a little, off, i like the opener and the closer and everything inbetween, its justthe flow that got me, i dont know if im reading it wrong, but nice job,

7/10

stay up

VOTE ON MY BATTLE!!

[Endeva.]

uppin

[Dan Dare]

That's two links, please, not one.

[Endeva.]

ill get it soon, ive left plenty of replies, chill...

[Mono]

yo this was nice drop homie I liked it homie it had good a flow,structure,and it had nice creativity and complexity keep that up I give this a 7.9/10 u got skillz homie so keep it up nice peice and I hope to see more like it hit up the open mic in my sig please ~1~

[Miss Behaving]

If this piece had been dropped by anyone else, id have been far less critical, but as its you, I know you wont take offense. Nice drop, not read anything from you in a long but but this wasnt up to your usual standards, but good none the less. Not nearly as much imagery as I am used to from you, but that because a majority of your work is rich in them. Nice multis, made the piece flow well, althought further punctuation would have made it easier to read.

My favourite part had to be,

"Have you self-belief, are you determined to win
Or has sin soaked in, and hung you out to dry
Leaving you hanging like a rag in the thunderous skies"

Overall, the story was good, but the ending felt a little abrupt giving it an unfinished quality, but then, if that was the point, to symbolise the strangle-hold of existance, you achieved it very nicely