Reflections

[Vertikle]

My Two Replies:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...385post2628385

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...399post2628399


Reflections

Pain under wraps, locked away with a hundred traps.
Now the hungers back, hitting hard, like thunder claps.
Reflections test, my soul, but my selections best.
The questions left, are above where the heaven's rest.
A soul permanently fire, plus I know I'm verbally tired.
Earning me a desire, that someday I will certainly retire.
As the pictures play and I see all the figures sway.
Bigger days, seem to approach me in a sinister way.
Weak and lifted last, thinking of my gifted past.
Things shifted grasp, I approach life swift and fast.
As this mirror reflects try, it's best to detect lies.
Know that respect dies and souls burns in the best guys.

[Vertikle]

yep.......and thanx for the feedback....

[Lay Doubt.]

this was a nice drop. a bit short, but still good. your flow was really solid, cool multis. you did mess up the syllable count a couple of times though, for instance:

A soul per-ma-nent-ly-fire, plus I know I'm ver-ba-lly-tired.
Earn-ing-me-a-de-sire, that someday I will cer-tain-ly-re-tire.

see, it went 4,3,5,4.

As the pictures play and I see all the figures sway.
Bigger days, seem to approach me in a sinister way.

then sinister way had 4 syllables while the rest of the multis had 3

yeah, other than that though.. not bad. just try to polish the flow a little bit. the content was pretty good.. here's what i was feeling the most:

Pain under wraps, locked away with a hundred traps.
Now the hungers back, hitting hard, like thunder claps.
Weak and lifted last, thinking of my gifted past.
Things shifted grasp, I approach life swift and fast.
As this mirror reflects try, it's best to detect lies.
Know that respect dies and souls burns in the best guys.

solid drop overall. keep writing and elevating.
peace.

[Vertikle]

thanx....for the advice and feedback

[Vertikle]

uppin

[Jamir B.]

real nice drop homes......i liked it a lot.....keep up da work.....lookin forward to seeing more.....

[Mistral]

16 line minimum.