Snapshots of My Life - 'Fucks lyrics thread

Monday to Sunday -

From Monday to Sunday
To whispers of ghosts past
I've searched for so long
To find you at last
From Monday to Sunday
To the shades and the frost
I've searched for so long
Now I'm finally lost

Outside the air is thick and stale
The pollution will suffocate us all
Little children, small and pale
Adults, broad and tall
Both stand behind a gas mask face
And they all take the fall

From Monday to Sunday
To whispers of ghosts past
I've searched for so long
To find you at last
From Monday to Sunday
To the shade and the frost
I've searched for so long
Now I'm finally lost

I'm only perfect, some of the time
I dont think I'm sad, but I dont think I'm fine
Cuz' where the ocean meets the land, two people died - Hand in hand
And it annoys me still, wherever we may go, I never have anything to show
I just wanna go home ..

From Monday to Sunday
To whispers of ghosts past
I've searched for so long
To find you at last
From Monday to Sunday
To the shade and the frost
I've searched for so long
Now I'm finally lost

From Monday to Sunday
To whispers of ghosts past
I've searched for so long
To find you at last
From Monday to Sunday
To the shade and the frost
I've searched for so long
Now I'm finally lost

Aint no friend of mine -

I've seen you walk down this street
For a very, very long time
I've never worked up the courage to say hello
And I aint no friend of mine
I am shattered and broken
Leave me shuddering on the floor
If you step around me and steal nothing
I'll love you forever more

It was yesterday, I do believe
The last time I'll ever try to be me
Cuz' I hate myself and I'm on a fine line
O-o-oh baby, I aint no friend of mine

So keep me in your closet, I'm your skeleton
And I'm twisting and writhing but you always shut me in
I've been screaming at the silence, with every intention of murder
But I just can't bring myself to do that, one deadly crime
And I never was a friend of mine

I want to be there when you fall down
When you leave me on the wedding altar
Run away to your new man and laugh at
Anything I was ever proud of and ...

I'm sold on you
I'm broken, too
I'm shattering in every direction
Can you please pick up the shards?

It was yesterday, I do believe
The last time I'll ever try to be me
Cuz' I hate myself and I'm on a fine line
O-o-oh baby, I aint no friend of mine

Oh...

My Disease -

Is he your brand new dashing gentleman?
Cuz he's the fuckin' dagger in my side
Time and commitment, all down the drain
I just want you to know how I feel
And maybe it'd be too much to wish that you might feel the same ...

Looking at all the stars, man they look bright tonight
I have fought to the last breath for you, and I will continue to fight
Against all the overwhelming odds but you never even notice
And I'm sitting at home alone and I start to cry and all of the time
I wish you'd just buckle up and crash and die
Cuz I dont need an angel, I dont need no hope
You can't be the only one, I have other safety ropes
There are plenty ... plenty ... plenty of fish in the sea
You've found yours, and now its time for me to focus on me
Fuck you, I'm contagious, I wish you would just catch my disease
Oh ple-e-ase, catch my disease ...

It's afternoon, when day is fading most, it turns from light to night
In a few seconds, so lets propose a toast - Cuz hey, everybody dies
I wanna die in style, mhm, is it too much to ask? Is it too much to ask
That you might, and listen carefully, that - please ... you might catch this disease from me ..

Theres a fine line between stupid one liners and cliches, and being romantic
Sometimes I would like to think that I'm the latter, but the truth is I'm just pedantic
And life is just an extravagant stage for you an' me, lets sing my favourite song, please
Before you catch this disease from me

My disease ...
My disease ...
My disease ...

Fingertips -

Look at me, I'm being crucified
I am jesus, I want to die
I am not anything you want to believe in
Trust me on that, comrade
I'm just here for the fun of it
Is it my face or the blood that makes you cringe?
Cuz I'm contorted in a mixture of pain and blood and lust and death
And I'm getting ever closer, I'm getting closer yet

Nothing and nowhere and people in their sleep
Start shifting and turning and I start tumbling
My bones break beneath my skin and my tendons start snapping and I
I dont even care in spite of all this pain, I'm left lifeless
We've been arguing again and we never come to a conclusion, do we?
So lets just end it here, its not working out, I love you so much
But I dont love you enough, I guess
Gah, heck! What have we been doing all these years
Going through school, trekking through life
I've almost given up, its just too much to bother with
And all the strife is making me sick

All my songs seem to be lovesongs
And that makes me sick to the core
I hate love songs, because they always belong
To a person with a messed up sense of right and wrong
And well, I'm just here, I'm just along ... Just along for the ride ...

I've been drowing in my sleep
I dont sleep in my bed alone no more
The devil lies next to me, and I have locked the door
I want to keep god out, Jesus wont save me
Cuz' he dont give miracles out for free, and believe in me
I aint got no money, it all went in the debri
If seeing is believing then what if I'm blind
Yeah, what if I'm blind ...
If seeing is believing then what if I'm blind? ...

Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh

Thats no way to behave
Razor sharp cut, that was a close shave
I'm not so brave, I'd rather be a slave
Then a fighter in a cold empty grave ... Hey
Can you blame me, even if I wanted to be free
All of this about liberty ... It's over-rated
Over-compensated, at least I wouldn't have to be
Half the man I used to be
Hey, I'm not even me, I'm not even me, why wont you ...
Why wont you ...

Look at me, I'm being crucified
I am jesus, I want to die
I am not anything you want to believe in
Trust me on that, comrade
I'm just here for the fun of it
Is it my face or the blood that makes you cringe?
Cuz I'm contorted in a mixture of pain and blood and lust and death
And I'm getting ever closer, I'm getting closer yet and I can bet
That its just ...

Nothing and nowhere and people in their sleep
Start shifting and turning and I start tumbling
My bones break beneath my skin and my tendons start snapping and I
I dont even care in spite of all this pain, I'm left lifeless
We've been arguing again and we never come to a conclusion, do we?
So lets just end it here, its not working out, I love you so much
But I dont love you enough, I guess
Gah, heck! What have we been doing all these years
Going through school, trekking through life
I've almost given up, its just too much to bother with
And all the strife is making me sick

I'm going.. I'm going..
I'm gone ...

Death and the Afterlife -

Sometimes its hard to say goodbye
To somebody you loved
Sometimes I wish I could talk to angels
Just to know how they were, but angels
Oh, angels don't ever answer me, and nobody seems to be up there
I think everything has deserted me
What if I were to join you?
What if I were to join you?

Down by your gravestone
Nobody goes there anyways
There has not been flowers on here
For a long long time
I think its time that changed

It breaks my heart to know of
All the people who die every day
Barely any of them ever get any visitors
And eventually everybody just seems to fade away

Now everything seems to bite at me
And the corners turn to obstacles
The world seems like the devil
And every day just seems to sneer with a faceless smile

Sometimes its hard to say goodbye
To somebody you loved
Sometimes I wish I could talk to angels
Just to know how they were, but angels
Oh, angels don't ever answer me, and nobody seems to be up there
I think everything has deserted me
What if I were to join you?
What if I were to join you?

Zoned -

Inside your shell, so tight and compact
You roll down the hills to London all by yourself
With no thought of anybody else, I walk into the air
With hopes I would find you there

Sometimes I cant remember your name
But that's just me
Everyday turns into just another memory
Like footprints upon sand, imprinted in time

I'm dislocated without you, I've been thinking
And I'm bringing back a conclusion
Some of the time is not all of the time and I would like to
Be your everything, cuz' its not working out for me
I only ever think about me - Oh man, we're so fucked up
So fucked up ... yeah ...

Inside your shell, so tight and compact
You roll down the hills to London all by yourself
With no thought of anybody else, I walk into the air
With hopes I would find you there
Inside your shell, so tight and compact
You roll down the hills to London all by yourself
With no thought of anybody else, I walk into the air
With hopes I would find you there

I'm zoned out, lying in space
I've vanished, and I'm gone without a trace
I want to be your first class everything
Or, at least that's what I think ..

I was a robot once too, you know
An automaton freezin' in the snow
The word on the street is the world leaves me alone
It's a long shot but I'm walking on the sun

Whenever you are lost, I will find you
Its a nice touch, but from the beginning now
One, two, three ..!

Inside your shell, so tight and compact
You roll down the hills to London all by yourself
With no thought of anybody else, I walk into the air
With hopes I would find you there
Inside your shell, so tight and compact
You roll down the hills to London all by yourself
With no thought of anybody else, I walk into the air
With hopes I would find you there

I'll talk to you later
I've been out thinking
Some of the time isn't all of the time
And I'm standing on the brink
I'm close to falling in

Inside your shell, so tight and compact
You roll down the hills to London all by yourself
With no thought of anybody else, I walk into the air
With hopes I would find you there

When you are lost, I will find you
But it often gets cold and I may freeze to death
I am your nervous train-wreck
Here to scapegoat anything you need and more

Inside your shell, so tight and compact
You roll down the hills to London all by yourself
With no thought of anybody else, I walk into the air
With hopes I would find you there

Inside your shell, so tight and compact
You roll down the hills to London all by yourself
With no thought of anybody else, I walk into the air
With hopes I would find you there

America -

Anorexic girls with tanned bodies and pretty blonde hair
Who take my hand and take me out the door into the fair
Cuz' the village fete's just too far, too far away
I need a saviour, to save me from these girls
Cuz' they'll drag me down into drugs and sex and I'll end up dead
But I dont have anything to say or protest, and I'm drifting away
Oh man, America seems so nice, these days, I have no intention
Of saying all these things I've been thinking - to your face ...

I get no sleep at night, cuz all I think about
Is the kind of things that makes people stare
But if I listen well, I can hear all the people
Dreaming of trying to obey their commands

Oh man, we're all so obediant
We're all so special
I dont want to special
I dont want to be obediant
I say we shouldn't do what we're told
And america seems so nice these days
But its always delay after delay after delay

And its the same old bullshit on TV
Spewing out its lies at me
I dont need your advertisements
I dont need you! You need me!
Stop alienizing me; oh god
I'm talking to myself, and I'm doing it again ...

America is so nice these days
But I just seem to fall awake
And everything I do just fails
But I'm okay ... I'm okay

Thats just life

Memories of Better Days -
Sometimes when I'm lonely
I sit alone and think
Sometimes when I'm depressed
I sit alone and drink
And then a friend comes along
And saves me, then I write a song
And we all live happily ever after
The end, cept' it aint
I'm living a living nightmare
And I can't wake up from this

I feel surrounded
I feel crowded
Every second of my life
Even when I'm alone
Sometimes I wanna go far far away
But people will still check to see if I'm okay
And hey, lady - I aint okay
I aint okay

Its like a prison
But I aint convicted
I'm just a visitor
Hey, what are you doing to me?
I'm thinking memories of better days
And I am scared to die

I feel surrounded
I feel crowded
Every second of my life
Even when I'm alone
Sometimes I wanna go far far away
But people will still check to see if I'm okay
And hey, lady - I aint okay
I aint okay

So what I love is what I despise
I do it for the attention, with blinded eyes
I answer every question beneath my disguise
A mask of innocence and re-assurance
While hatred lies within

So if I tell you what you wanna hear
Would you please go away, come again another day
Because on my deathbed, I'm gonna say sorry
To everybody I know and pray, I'm gonna pray
Pray I get into heaven, I'm not that bad
I wanna earn my wings, I like being misled
But it messes with my head, mhmmm


I feel surrounded
I feel crowded
Every second of my life
Even when I'm alone
Sometimes I wanna go far far away
But people will still check to see if I'm okay

Will you be my mosaic picture?
I dont wanna break you, but I dont know how to be gentle
And hey, lady - I aint okay
I aint okay
I found serenity in pain
I found serenity in pain
I've found serenity in pain
I've hit nirvana
I'm alive

Give, Give, Give ( Aka The Angry One We No Longer Play At Gigs)want to thank you for the things you've told me
I want to hate you for the things you've taken
I want to love you for the secrets you've kept
I want to kill you for the lies you've said
I want to hug you for the people you've saved
I want to shoot you for the people you left behind
I want to kiss you for the life your leading
I want to burn you for the life you've led
I want to destroy you for the things you've broken
I want to touch you for the things you've made
I want to torch you for the havoc you wrought
I want to become you for the things I crave ...

I want to be an astronaut
So I can float in space
I hear its real quiet up there
Maybe then I can get some sleep
I'm off to get exactly what I need
Those who disagree have to come through you, cuz' they'll trample me

I want to thank you for the things you've told me
I want to hate you for the things you've taken
I want to love you for the secrets you've kept
I want to kill you for the lies you've said
I want to hug you for the people you've saved
I want to shoot you for the people you left behind
I want to kiss you for the life your leading
I want to burn you for the life you've led
I want to destroy you for the things you've broken
I want to touch you for the things you've made
I want to torch you for the havoc you wrought
I want to become you for the things I crave ...

And its always -

Give! Give! Give!
And you're always
Take! Take! Take!
Well I've had enough
Fuck you, I'm gonna break away!
Down to the dark underground alley
In london somewhere, I dont know
My memories a little hazy
And I always lose the plot
Cuz its always -

Give! Give! Give!
And I'm always
Take! Take! Take!
And we're both spiralling
Into a pattern of getting stuck in shit we shouldn't
And Eliza warns me
Oh, Eliza warns me
Eliza warns me
We're fucking shit up and we're getting fucked up
On drugs and other illegal stuff
Why am I this monstrosity?
I can't look in the mirror for fear of my reflection
I cant speak for fear of you rejection
I'm clinging on and we're fucking up and you always scream at me cuz you always

GIVE! GIVE! GIVE!
AND I ALWAYS FUCKING
TAKE! TAKE! TAKE!
LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!
FUCK YOU! LOOK AT ME!
I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT ME!
LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!
LOOK AT ME AND STARE INTO MY REFLECTION!
I JUST CANT FACE MYSELF THESE DAYS
And I need you to save my soul ...

I want to thank you for the things you've told me
I want to hate you for the things you've taken
I want to love you for the secrets you've kept
I want to kill you for the lies you've said
I want to hug you for the people you've saved
I want to shoot you for the people you left behind
I want to kiss you for the life your leading
I want to burn you for the life you've led
I want to destroy you for the things you've broken
I want to touch you for the things you've made
I want to torch you for the havoc you wrought
I want to become you for the things I crave ...

You're my salvation! I'm my redemption!
You're my rejection! I'm my reflection!
I'm always taking and we're always giving
And you came to fuck this up!

I want to thank you for the things you've told me
I want to hate you for the things you've taken
I want to love you for the secrets you've kept
I want to kill you for the lies you've said
I want to hug you for the people you've saved
I want to shoot you for the people you left behind
I want to kiss you for the life your leading
I want to burn you for the life you've led
I want to destroy you for the things you've broken
I want to touch you for the things you've made
I want to torch you for the havoc you wrought
I want to become you for the things I crave ...

Eliza warns me, and Kriss saves me from the car crash
Oh man all these lies and all these tries
To make a clean break keeps me insane
I'm fucking up again, I'm sinking beneath the sheets
I'm injecting and screaming out your name
Cuz you wont ...

LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!
I CANT SPEAK FOR FEAR OF REJECTION
I CANT LOOK FOR FEAR OF MY REFLECTION
I WANT YOU TO BE MY EYES, I WANT A NEW DISGUISE
TO WRAP MYSELF AROUND YOUR FAITH AND SQUEEZE

LOOK INTO THE END, LOOK INTO THE SKIES
EVERYBODY WE KNOW EVENTUALLY DIES
YOU HAVE BECOME THE BEGINNING
BUT I HAVE BECOME MY OWN END
ELIZA WARNS ME
BUT I'M FUCKING UP AGAIN

I want to thank you for the things you've told me
I want to hate you for the things you've taken
I want to love you for the secrets you've kept
I want to kill you for the lies you've said
I want to hug you for the people you've saved
I want to shoot you for the people you left behind
I want to kiss you for the life your leading
I want to burn you for the life you've led
I want to destroy you for the things you've broken
I want to touch you for the things you've made
I want to torch you for the havoc you wrought
I want to become you for the things I crave ...

I want to thank you for the things you've told me
I want to hate you for the things you've taken
I want to love you for the secrets you've kept
I want to kill you for the lies you've said
I want to hug you for the people you've saved
I want to shoot you for the people you left behind
I want to kiss you for the life your leading
I want to burn you for the life you've led
I want to destroy you for the things you've broken
I want to touch you for the things you've made
I want to torch you for the havoc you wrought
I want to become you for the things I crave ...

Failure ( Incomplete ) -

One for forgiveness
Two for life
Three for sorrow
Four for strife
Five for hatred
Six for joy
Seven for silver
Eight for a boy
Nine for a girl
Ten for forever
Eleven for insanity
Twelve for whenever
Thirteen for your love
Fourteen for my curiosity
Fifteen for all of the above
Sixteen for my monstrosity
Seventeen for hidden meanings
Eighteen for my time
Nineteen for 72 virgins
Twenty for a wife
Twenty-one for Jesus
Twenty-two for Christ
Twenty-three for his disciples
Twenty-four for the feelings that we're feeling
Twenty-five for my honesty
Twenty-six for my lies
Twenty-seven for my tommorow
Twenty-eight for my goodbyes
Twenty-nine for apologies
Thirty for something no longer mine
Thirty-one for me and you
Thirty-two for him and her
Thirty-three for everybody else
Thirty-four for being put on the top shelf

Oh,

I'm a failure, I'm a failure
But I'm doing okay these days
In my own way, I'm not so much a failure
I'm more of an egomaniac
Strangling my Big Fat Ego

I'm DOING FINE THESE DAYS
But I'm not allowed on the radio
I'm a non-conformist conforming to non-conforming
And I'm starting to change
And I explode and I being to writhe and I sink down and then I die
I'M DOING FINE THESE DAYS

I'm a failure, I'm a failure, I'm a failure

Just like you ...

Broken Winter -
Look at all the pretty people
Look at all the pretty people
Look at how they all smile
Look at all the beautiful women
But they all in comparison pale

This broken winter of mine
Keeps overshadowing me
It's so enticing, please come in
It'll wrap you in snow until you freeze
Ohwoah, ohwoah, ohwoaah oh oh

I was born in a storm
A long long time ago
This broken winter of mine
Keeps me adrift and ready to go
When I was delivered I was zapped by lightning
Hey, I heard you loved freaks
Why the fuck you'd reject me?

This broken winter of mine
Keeps overshadowing me
It's so enticing, please come in
It'll wrap you in snow until you freeze
Ohwoah, ohwoah, ohwoaah oh oh

I know why you cry alone
I know why you sleep alone
I know why you love nobody
Because I'm exactly the same
The world needs people like us
With broken winters - who like to watch things fail
It reminds me of human fraility
And that there is nobody
No-fucking-body there to save me

This broken winter of mine
Keeps overshadowing me
It's so enticing, please come in
It'll wrap you in snow until you freeze
Ohwoah, ohwoah, ohwoaah oh oh

Turn off the lights
Turn off the television
Its a world of football stars
And kids doing math revision
There is no place for us here
So lets make one
Yeah, lets make one
If society rejects us
Then we need to reject society
We all have broken winters
We just embrace it
Embrace your broken winter, and fuckin fade away ...

Somebody to Hold Onto -
She says,
'' We have to talk
We wont be together any more
Its over, that's it
I'm sick of you, I'm sick of your tricks
I'm angry, I'm upset
I cant believe I even tried my best
To keep us together, you pulled us apart
Now I must go and stitch back my heart ''

So now I'm lonely, now I'm lost
Without your guidance I'm disappearing, I'm gone
You keep me out of the way of life's cruel games
Take the blow for yourself and leave me okay
But it's not my fault, I did nothing wrong
Life is a libido, and you misuse it for fun

How could you be, anything but what you needed to be?
How could you be, anything but what you wanted to be?

She says,
'' I hate you, but I have to know
How could you ever sink so low?
No, don't even answer that
You'll just let me down again
And that's a fact ... ''

Hey darling, what can I do
You always have to be correct
So I wont bother to argue
But again I will prove my innocence
It wasn't me, if you want to put that to the test
I'm burning up without you now, even though you are
What you are, and I am what I am
If you don't love me any more
Then I'll have to find someone else who can

She says
'' Yeah, I'm over you
But I've been thinking
And there's no evidence
Maybe I was hasty
I have back-tracked
You didn't sleep with her
She's a liar, and I want you back ''

Now you see sense, but you've gone too far
So go away and like you said, stitch back your heart
Fill it with cotton, while I drown my sorrows with wine
I've got nothing to do, but she wants to be mine
And that makes me laugh, yeah it makes me smile
Cuz' it proves we all want something ...
Something to hold onto ...
Something to hold onto ...
And I wont hold onto you
And I wont hold onto you

She begs, and she pleads
She cries, and she screams
She gets angry, she gets angry with me
She says she don't care
Turn and walk away
But I know the games you play
You'll be back to shout at me another day
Cuz' you want something to hold onto
Something to hold onto ...
Something to hold onto ...
And I won't hold onto you
And I wont hold onto you

Her Heaven ( The Depressed Song ) -

I have become what I fear
I have become what I hate
I am become death
I will bestow my vitality upon you ...

You decide you'd rather thread a needle
Through your arm and watch the razor
Slip into your veins, then talk to me
If pain is your addiction, then I will end you
I will end you

She screams while I try to sleep
Bloodied thoughts of dead men
Hollow out my brain, sink into my flesh
If you want to deal with me
Then you'll have to try again

So my big fat ego
Gets in the way to block you
From walking over me
So you admit your desire
Your desire to die is unmatched
By the desire to survive
You are a skeleton walking
Now I suppose you never asked
But this is my desire
I want to be myself
Just one last time

Now the end is coming soon
Your kiss is bitter sweet
Asphyxiation is like masturbation
To you, what the fuck is wrong with you?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
No, what the fuck is wrong with me?

So you rape my wants
And you burn my needs
You talk about dying
Like death is your friend
But death is nobodies friend
He comes and goes without conversation
And he does not judge
And he does not want
And he does not care
Do not bother him
Do not bother him
Do not bother me
Do not fuck with this
What the fuck is wrong with this
What the fuck is wrong with us
What the fuck is wrong with me?

So turn yourself inside out
And show yourself to me
I'm off to get lost
And I dont mean to return
I hope you die
I hope you die
I hope you die
I hope you fuckin suffocate
I hope you fuckin slit yourself to death
I hope you lose too much blood
I hope you die
I hope you die
I hope you die
Because ...

I have become what I fear
I have become what I hate
I am become death
I will bestow my vitality upon you ...

Tortured Sorrow ( The Gothic Outlook ) -

Across the deep blue sea
Through the clouds
And back to me
There is the slightest scent of tomorrow
Creeping thoughts that always hollow
Out the dreams of tortured sorrow
That break into my mind

Now I stand singing songs
Crafted by a dead man many years ago
These days I cant tell friends from foes
And I'm sick of all these people who aim to be Edgar Allen Poe
Is it not enough to be yourself? Low, and behold
You say you are dark, you say I am deep
Reality: I'm the most shallow person you will ever meet
I never think beneath the first layer, I never think things through
The adulation of the crowd however, gets to you
But I'm not anything, its just smoke and crushed ice
I urgently urge you, to think this over twice

Now the angel appears to me
Serrated and impolite
Preaches about god
How his love is infinite
How he cares for all his creations equally
Well, Mr. Angel, are you sure he cares for me?
Or how about any of the other people not quite so lucky?
Hey, Mr. Angel, why do we still bleed?
Is pain an emotion god designed to keep us from being free?

Across the deep blue sea
Through the clouds
And back to me
There is the slightest scent of tomorrow
Creeping thoughts that always hollow
Out the dreams of tortured sorrow
That break into my mind

Truth -

Hey, little kid
You ask me what the truth is
Hey, little kid
You wanna know what the truth is?
The truth is an allegory
There are teachers pets
We are not loved equally
And you will be heartbroken yet

Welcome to a world, welcome to a sin
Welcome to my schizophrenia
Where angels die within
Hey, little kid
You ask me what the truth is
Hey, little kid
You wanna know what the truth is?

You're the reason for the divorce
She's angry, but she lies
He aint your friends, he's using you
And she does not fancy him
Its you with which she wants to pull through

Hey, little kid
You ask me what the truth is
Hey, little kid
You wanna know what the truth is?
The truth is an allegory
There are teachers pets
We are not loved equally
And you will be heartbroken yet

Wasted -
Its afternoon, I'm spending it alone
Snoozing on the sofa, waiting for the phone
Waiting for somebody to come here and save me
Somebody to lie, tell me its all right - hey, theres nothing wrong ...

Guess you finally did it, yeah; you killed me
Ripped my heart out and still gave me grief
You can go off now, claim to be free - but you're still alive, angel
Dont you see?

I'm a dead man trying to get out
I'm a idiot falling deeper in debt
I wanna be you, I wanna be perfect
But I'm not decided yet ..

As the sun goes down
As the crows are wide awake
As the people stare at you
As the knife slips
As the needle pumps
As you blink
As I cry
We all lead lives nobody cares about
This is my bitching, what are you going to shout?

You left me alone
You left me alone
Thank god for peace and quiet ...

Valentines -
Its raining outside
I might stay in
Wash away my worries
Change the pace

I've kept myself awake
Just to witness my fear
As she begins to walk away
And disappear into the atmosphere
Leave me down on earth
Leave me down here

Its raining outside
I might stay in
Wash away my worries
Revel in my sin

Should have known
The cancer has grown
The blood and the sweat
That stopped when we met
Begins to rush back to me

Its raining outside
I might stay in
Wash away my worries
Wait for tomorrow to begin

I propose a question
That you would reject
I'm the only one left
Without a girl by my side
So please don't obsess
I don't like you - Who's next
Run away into the rain

Its raining outside
Without anyone by my side
I might stay in all day again
Wash away my worries
Disappear with the tide

I packed up my bags
You took all that I had
I vanished into the ocean
Never seen again

Its raining outside
Put your heart on the washing line
Wait for your tears to dry
I might stay in
Wait for tomorrow to begin
I will always remember you ...

Into the Ozone -
You can't cheat me
I've got you in a web of deceit
You cant fuck me
I kept my receipt
You cant run away
I've broken your knee's
So you cant lie
And you can't cheat me

Into tomorrow with the sorrow you borrowed
From a man with a golden heart and a promise
You promise you don't know, you promise you wont go
Into the ozone

Hey! Yeah
I'm talking to you
Blonde girl with nothing to lose
Cuz I've lost my smile
I'm suffering pain
And I still need words to put to my name
Hey! Yeah
I'm talking to you
White runs red
Now black turns blue

Into tomorrow with the sorrow you borrowed
From a man with a golden heart and a promise
You promise you don't know, you promise you wont go
Into the ozone

Never run away
Never turn to dust
Never fade away
Never give up and rust
Never lived never was
Never had never lust

Into tomorrow with the sorrow you borrowed
From a man with a golden heart and a promise
You promise you don't know, you promise you wont go
Into the ozone

Into tomorrow with the sorrow you borrowed
From a man with a golden heart and a promise
You promise you don't know, you promise you wont go
Into the ozone

Pain Relief ( The Grim Song ) -
Everything is fucking brilliant
You are my pain relief
I'm in an episode of nirvana
There is no going back
My moodswings have vanished
I'm all better now
I'm falling asleep finally
Everything is fucking brilliant
Everything is good now

You can be my pain relief
You can be my pain killers
You can be my anti-biotics
You can be my blood transfusion
X2

Everything is fucking brilliant
Until you hit the ground
Everything is fucking brilliant
Until I am found
You can be my pain relief
Let me shoot you up, now ...
Everything is fucking brilliant
Everything is good now
All this means
Aint no going back

You can be my pain relief
You can be my pain killers
You can be my anti-biotics
You can be my blood transfusion
X2

You can depend upon me
Cuz' I will depend upon you
I will kill for you
I will murder myself for you
I would do anything to get numb again
Cuz' it hurts so much these days

La, la, la, la la la
La, la, la, la la la
You can be my pain relief
You can be my pain killers
You can be my anti-biotics
You can be my blood transfusion
You can be my pain relief
You can be my pain killers
You can be my anti-biotics
You can be my blood transfusion
La, la, la, la la la
La, la, la, la la la

Come on, dose me up
Thats not enough
Dose me up
Dose me up
Oh, ...


La, la la la la
You can be my pain relief
You can be my pain killers
You can be my anti-biotics
You can be my blood transfusion
La, la la la la

Come on now, I wont OD on you
I want you - I want you - I want you
I want you - I need you - I want you
To comfort me
Numb my pain
Take me away
From reality
Come on, come on
Cuz ...

You can be my pain relief
You can be my pain killers
You can be my anti-biotics
You can be my blood transfusion
La, la, la, la, oh! Oh! Oh!
You can be my pain relief
You can be my pain killers
You can be my anti-biotics
You can be my blood transfusion...

Life Cycle ( The Rainy-Day Song ) -
I'm shaking
Its cold outside
I can't break this ice
It wont crack for me
Only for someone
With a little more
Open kindness
And burning desires
I've already fulfilled mine
I'm turning a blind eye
You can say what you want to say
You can be what you want to be
But if you dont mind me saying
Don't be an enemy
I remember when I wasn't like this
When I was young and kind
Now I've grown old and the angst
Still won't leave me alone
I guess I'm a sucker for things
That I know make me cry
People say that I'm not as shallow as I think
But everyones got something to hide
So yeah I suppose, theres more beyond the surface
Dont bother me please, progress in work here
And as the saying goes
Misery loves company
But there is not room for three
So now all my friends have lovers
And children
And I am left alone in the cold
But I'm used to it now
I remember when I used to be
So warm, I was a gentlemen
But then I realized
All the roses have thorns
That pricked me
And bled me dry
So now I'm devoid
Of tears to cry
Or intentions to die
While my generation seems to be intent
On suicide, I suppose I just try to hide
Underneath the covers, most days
Because the world is an obstacle
I've conquered before
If I cant retire early
Then what did I do this for?
So hello everybody
I'll smile to you
The snow is getting to me
I guess I'll be leaving soon
Or maybe I will wait
For the sun to come again
Then I'll go outside
And make me some new friends
And the cycle of life turns
And the cycle of life turns
And the cycle of life turns..

What Have I become? -
Lately I've been staring at the walls
Watching the paint dry
I used to be such a nice guy
Now its all faded into the past
All these nice things that could never last
Due to underage drinking, and smoking, and sex
Trying to get more money for the drugs I confess
I floated from one week into the next
I used to be such a nice guy

From the night in shining armour
The happily ever after
To the old grouch who rejected laughter
And refused to remember his father
Lets leave it all to the past, yeah
Oh, what have I become?
Oh, what have I become?

All the girls who have left me
All the people who reject me
Now I finally see
What an asshole I've been
I was locked in
Anger and sorrow both twinned
Letting it all out
Oh, the anguish
What have I become?

From the night in shining armour
The happily ever after
To the old grouch who rejected laughter
And refused to remember his father
Lets leave it all to the past, yeah
Oh, what have I become?
Oh, what have I become?

So I put down the needle
And turn the pills away
Never should have done this
Anywa-a-ays
And I go out into the open
And I meet with the people
And I thank all the fans
I think this depression has gone

From the night in shining armour
The happily ever after
To the old grouch who rejected laughter
And refused to remember his father
Lets leave it all to the past, yeah
Oh, what have I become?
Oh, what have I become?

But the world keeps falling apart
Little pieces of its heart
Keep cracking like the ice in the north
Of the atlas, I'll never understand this
There is just not enough to go by and
I'll freeze to death if I just stand and
I used to be such a nice guy

From the night in shining armour
The happily ever after
To the old grouch who rejected laughter
And refused to remember his father
Lets leave it all to the past, yeah
Oh, what have I become?
Oh, what have I become?

O-o-o-o-o-o-O-o-oh

I think I'm changing
From the catterpillar into the butterfly
It was so gradual now I can take to the sky
Inside my cocoon I was concocting a plan
But first goodnight, I must take back my land
Which has been taken over by wild foxes
And people I dont know
Its literary suicide, freezing to death in the snow
Oh
I used to be such a nice guy

From the night in shining armour
The happily ever after
To the old grouch who rejected laughter
And refused to remember his father
Lets leave it all to the past, yeah
Oh, what have I become?
Oh, what have I become?

Oooooooh
I used to be such a nice guy ...

Oh Eliza -
She seems to think life is a game
She works only for money, performs only for fame
She seems to think that love is nothing
She's not wlling to endure, to try and tough it

It was cold when I awoke
And you weren't next to me
There was a note on the table
With only the words,
'' Now you see ''

I guess you proved me wrong, I guess that now I believe
Eliza has gone to pursue a career - I can see
She packed up all her bags neatly, and left me a phone number
I stored it in a suitcase, along with all the others
Oh, Eliza - where are you now? Travelling to Hollywood?
Oh, Eliza - Or taking flight to Nashville, my angel?

I remember all those dirty secrets
I remember all those sweet nothings
I remember every little thing you said to me
I remember you - I remember you ..

Eliza, oh Eliza
My angel has flown home
To the heavens above
Where the wilderbeast roam
Eliza, oh Eliza
Where have you gone?
Have you gone to hollywood?
Nashville? Its why I wrote this song

Come back to me ( Come back )
Come back to me ( Come back )
Come back to me ( Come back )
Come back ...

Rape -
A faceless assault
Hands in the dark
Grabbing what they can
Pulling me apart
They carry me off
But I cant see
One of the men
Has put a blindfold on me
We walked for so long
I fell asleep
I was so tired, I forgot to weep
I should have cried for my mother
Cried for my friends
Cried for my life, hope I could be free again
They traveled for days, I was in the boot of the car
One of them turned to me, said it wasn't far
But I was so scared, I didn't care
In the trunk of the car, gasping for air
When the light of day, illuminated the blindfold
The trunk of it opened, and a man began to smoke
I could smell the fire, I could smell the ash
I dont think there was any going back
The entire place smelt of death
Suddenly the man punched me, and it all went black

When I awoke, all was not well
There were naked men surrounding me
I could just tell, I was blindfolded still
And the place smelled of nature
It had that wooden smell
But now I know
That place was called hell
I was pushed, on my stomach
I couldn't resist, I was weak
And I knew I couldn't get back on my feet
They gathered round, all laughing at me
Waiting for their turn, pushing me to my knee's
I tried to block it out, but I simply could not
These villains were there in front of me
It was just my luck, and I'm still scared to this day
That they will come back, and retake me away
I told nobody, where I went, the lies I told
And the hours I spent
I spent crying ..
And defying
The memory of a 4 year old girl smiling
And then in the space of an instant dying
I was raped when I was four
I was taken out the door
I was pushed, pulled and shoved
Now I'm 6, and enough is enough
But mommy doesnt believe me
And dad is always drunk
I hear them whispering over the fireplaces sometimes
Saying that if anybody knows they'll lock them up
So I dont know, just what happened
I have repressed memories that I cannot fathom
And nightmares still, that haunt me to this day
Every night dad tries to kill himself, but hey
Mother always says when I'm older I'll know
But I'm 6 years old already, I dont need to grow
If you've got a secret, then just tell me now
And please believe me mommy, you dont know how
Bad it feels, when people take you
Now you believe me? Wait, it happened to you?
Whats going on mommy, what are you saying?
Dad is a paedophile, and his friends are paying?
Mommy, say it isn't so, please - I dont want to know
Did Daddy rape me too mommy? please dont go

Mommy? What was that gunshot?
And what was the other?

Mommy? Daddy?

Holy fuck, longest post i've ever seen

yeah, right..