Check In By.... Friday
Post By.... Sunday
Vote By....Tuesday
Topic
sinister urge
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Check In By.... Friday
Post By.... Sunday
Vote By....Tuesday
Topic
sinister urge
Checking in...
in check
I'm writing this verse but I'm lyrically drought
I'm supposed to battle fgee but I can controll my thought
Ever had the feeling to kill and do wrong ?
I thought I abanded it but now it's back, twice as strong
It surrounds me, I feel it under my skin
Only a mather of time before the killings begin
Feeding of anger it's growing and soon It'll make me devide
Then I've probably got more personalitys then Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Sometimes I wake up and can't remember things anymore
Maybe I've robbed my grandma or raped a pathetic cheapass whore
Could it be somethings I ate ?
Can't imagine this feeling just doesn't let me think straight
One day I woke up and I setted up a course
But this feeling betrayed me like a trojan horse
Living day by day cause in the future I can't see
I'll admit that my strongest feeling said "murder fgee"
Searching for a reason to kill him, the thing I found was lameness,
That ain't good enough for him, let hime live in shameness
My body is burning it's getting worse by the hour
This feeling has started feeding of my mind, ready to devour
I can't stand it anymore my thoughts should soon be purged
Dying ain't option so i'll have to live with this sinister urge
^^^^^^^
Nice hall of fame...lol
I'll edit this to my vote
'sinister:threatening evil or tragic developments'
'urge:a strong restless desire'
from deep in a nightmare with evil i suddenly awoke/
horrific thoughts of murder subconsciously provoke/
helpless, my body under a dark force the demons win over/
the rights to sanity and good parting with their owner
like a strong current wickedness pulled me into it's path/
entranced and under spell i yielded to it's wrath/
time was on hold as i was dragged from my slumber/
malicious thoughts sweeping me outside in moon lit summer/
feet moved involuntarily to a destination unknown/
seeds of evil sewn, sprouting quickly almost fully grown/
the moon illuminated a road to tradgedy while death filled the air/
deathly white, visions blurred with despair/
blood raged and boiled from within but for what reason?/
the signs pointed to murder, a strange mental treason?/
i continued on the path magnetised to a wooded track/
and further on i travelled drawn to a humble shack/
faint memories stirred from distant echo's in my brain/
dreadful thoughts and visions surfaced slowly, for reasons i couldn't explain/
suddenly the door opened and i saw a distant light/
through the door way my eyes searched but blackness hindered my sight/
silence was broken as i stepped on floorboards that creak/
mysteriously murky and damp my knees began to feel weak/
the light i had seen began to move closer till i could make out a candle/
in the living room perched on top of the mantle/
nearing touching distance i reached out to the light/
but suddenly the flame flickered out wick'edly hindering my plight/
my feet had begun to drag heavily and felt covered in water/
and as i began to search for the door i remembered the slaughter/
as the smell of blood rushed into my lungs memories ran clear as day/
in cold blood my enemy had been slayed the debt repayed for a strange reason still unclear/
and thats when i woke from the dream and emerged/
all the thoughts evolving from a sinister urge/
to sleep....................
both good but fgee was alot stronger and worded his shit better
fgee wins by a lot. a lot more emotion
put into his verse . the imagery was there
as well. very nice shit.
V. Fgee
yeah fgee won this fair and square
My first topical league battle ever
didn't know what to do nor to expect
Maybe i've shoulded wait untill he posted his verse :)
nice on fgee
lol
thats my first one too....heh heh
some more views please.....
Incredible Line.Quote:
the rights to sanity and good parting with their owner
"to seep" haha, that was good.Quote:
and thats when i woke from the dream and emerged/
all the thoughts evolving from a sinister urge/
to sleep....................
Vote = fgee
But good work both of you. Keep up the good work.
===============================
·Ok, now this is for Kronox.
This doesn't really belong here. But fuck it. Anyone who doesn't like it can bite me.
You've got a lot of potential. But your lacking creaativity.
1. In thing like this your verse shouldn't involve your opponent, it made it seem like a battle more or less. (The league isn't involving "battle" verses). Now that doesn't mean never use your opponent in your verse, but killing them isn't really original...
You had creativity in your lines, now all you have to work on is making everything creative.
(One thing I'd suggest you do that doesn't have anything to do with improving lyrical ability is, change your name. Their is 1 person who is fairly good on the net with that name. Try to come up with something that suits you, and you like...Only a suggestion)
About the name part
I've been using this name for more then 7 years
And I'm an online gamer
People know me by that name
So I'm not going to change that :)
Thanx for your input tho
I;ma Have to go with Fgee on this his lyrics where stronger an the structure of his verse was more solid.
Kronox' verse was good but wasn't too the standard the fgee hit.
Pz
vote = fgee