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Little piece
I wrote this ....its not that big ...tell me what you think of it ?......thnx, it's real..so feed back on this plz
Waste of life....
Saw a kid, thirtheen...got shot in his head....//
He had a whole fucking future in front of him and..now he's dead//
He was just playing outside..than he run in to a gun fight//
Lost bullets fly around like dust....no place to hide...//
Did you saw the pain in his mother's eyes..when they told her your son's is dead, nothing we can do//
Tell me is it all worth that?, defending that crappy piece of ground that does'nt belongs to you, or your crew//
Talking big shit wavin your nine..,screaming this is our terp..Saying to your homie's i have him damn this gonna be a clean hit//
Bullets released, but instead of hitting your enemy you took the life of an innocend little kid//
People thinking they the man waving around and shooting with guns..//
Maybe you get a kick off it, but i tell you your just playn dumb...(dont think your god)//
I really feld for this mother.....and the boy's family i dont lie//
Its really make's me cry all those future's takin away, of little kids that daily die..//
Killing innocend by standers...you got to decide....//
You want to do this for the rest of your life//
Just tell me what you gonna do cuz it can happen to somone you love, or maybe you//
-ThugzDoCry
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Some feed back would be nice lol
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Allowa lol Feed back on this piece thnk you very much
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i liked the whole topic. and the story line was good. i think it just needs a little editing in a few places.
i liked the line about "bullets released, but instead of hitting your enemy you took the life of an innocent little kid"
but i didn't really like "I really felt for this mother.....and the boy's family i dont lie" cause it sort of seemed like you were just looking for something to rhyme with "die"
but it was pretty good.
wait, is this a true story or what?
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ah man, great lyrics, i loved this part "Tell me is it all worth that?, defending that crappy piece of ground that does'nt belong to you" very nice
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@ Nine thnx for comment man
@ Rell , its a true story.......and thnx for your construtive comment preciated 2 both ya'll
Uppin for some more feed back
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deep lyrics dawg... props on the flows
all i woulda done diff was had it hit with more multies but still a tite drop
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Iight thnx for the comment man more feed back?
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Still uppin for some feedback
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I didn't know they banged like this in Amsterdam...
Shit.
This was a very nice piece, my man.
I like the shit that comes from the heart and I most like the shit that comes from only one.
It's why I find colabs hard to read, no offense to ya other shit...
So I did a search and found one that was just you, and to be honest, I'm glad I did cuz this one piece you dropped months ago is better in my eyes than all ya colabs recently...
I felt ya shit here. I guess I just like the writer-reader relationship better than the "performance" feeling I get from colabs.
This piece was deep.
I loved the line, "crappy piece of ground that don't belong to you"...
Very tight and very fuckin true.
We need more shit like this cuz to be honest, all that other shit, the "I'm bad", the "I'll smoke you", the "forced to bang" shit people be dropping left and right up here...
Sucks...
The delivery might be good, the talent might be there...
But the message sucks.
Who the fuck needs ta carry nines and what the fuck for?
The result you get, most of the time, is misery like the lady in the verse is going through.
You ain't bad.
You ain't hard.
You're a piece of shit that could one day fire that gat the wrong direction and take out a child.
That's reality.
That's what this piece was...
I prop it much.
Peace
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its basic but i felt it cuz its on some real shit, good drop cud' b a bit better but fuck it, keep em comin
peep ma open mic too "Da Renegade"
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One of my first dropped open mics, ...i think...some feedback...
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what the fuck? stop upping old shit
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