Saying good-bye..Is the hardest...
'Saying good-bye is the hardest'
-By: Mike.
What is it about her...That makes her so special?
I ask myself...Every morning...What it could be...
I always get a single answer...
One that i sometimes wish it wasnt
I love her...More then anything in this world it seems...
A life was planned with her...
But it has been broken away..For she has found a new life to plan...
Though my life is burdened with pain..And always drowned in heartbreak..
I hope i can keep my sanity...And see past this to continue..A life beckoned..To end...
Though my sanity is broken...Amoung the past and the present..Its breaking my furture...
What i have planned...To be happy with...No longer exists..
What i want...Is no longer known...
Who i am to be with...Though i still want her...Is undetermined...
Why cant my life be easy? Why cant it for once...Be the road that doesnt destroy..My broken heart...
Or atleast whats left of it..Its hard to live with a broken heart..That is filled with hatred and revenge...
A hatred..That fills its empty catacombs of my dead heart
A revenge...That breaks my body...
Its all so hard...to live with a heart of hate..And pain...Thats problely why he came into existance...
The one who follows me when no one is around...The one i see in my reflection...
He is the one who has no more care the world...He is the one..Who..Lets what is hidden..Be free...
Only i see him...In the reflections of myself...Only i dont see him doing as i do..I see him doing as he wishes...
I see him...Letting go of the anger i hold in me..Crying my pain away...He does..What i wish to not do...
It seems though...When i was with her...He is at calm...He has no hate...And no pain...
The hardest...Is my greed...I want to always have her...For she takes away my nightmares..That haunt my sleep...
She is a one of a kind...One i cant seem to encounter...I think thats why i love her...Thats why...
Saying good-bye..is the hardest..
Now...I aint looking for good nor bad feedback. Or feed back much at all. This was personal and i was love drunk at the time. Just kinda something that i threw together to get a girl to love me again. Made her cry was it. So just a tid bit of a random PS piece i guess. Enjoy.
Links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ns-364073.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...fy-364169.html
Re: Saying good-bye..Is the hardest...
This was alright, I'm not much for a lovey dovey piece reader myself, as it's been done way too many times...this was generic, at 17 such tru emotions don't happen they're just infatuations...however, I won't judge you on that time will teach you in it's own way...overall, I think it was average, keep working.
Re: Saying good-bye..Is the hardest...
Sweet, Thanks. Anyone else wanna feed?
Re: Saying good-bye..Is the hardest...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...te-364340.html
Hit that up, LedgenZ says it's Hall of Fame.
The wording could be better. As can the flow of everything. I feel you're quickly starting to get some kind of emotion and imagery down.. but still need work. All Baron said, pretty much shows the somewhat false realism of the piece. And in the end, it was a good piece for your calibur.. keep elevating and getting tips from other writers.
Re: Saying good-bye..Is the hardest...
Re: Saying good-bye..Is the hardest...
well as you said you weren;t really looking for good or bad feedback.
in my opinion though this is wonderfully written.
It's a personal piece but it still worked great as any other piece of poetry in P.S.....this is one of the stronger pieces I read in here in awhile also.
Maybe because theres so much emotion behind each line
I liked how you talked about not being able to go on without her.
This was a very entertaining read.....
I haven't peeped much of your poetry before but I really liked this here.
peace and stay up fam.
Re: Saying good-bye..Is the hardest...
look... I'm not going to tell you it was the most gorgeous piece on the planet, but it was from the heart so it made it all the more REAL to read. the feelings were huge, the emotion was present. the only thing I'd like to see come from you is a better structured verse as far as that sloppy-ness up there goes, because it's hard on the eyes to read that shit lol. and I'd also like to see you be even more poetic with imagrey in your verses... say shit like "My heart bleeds because rejection comes with a blade" ...stuff like that you know? be metaphorical... make secret meanings but not so out there that your readers won't understand. you're already better than a lot of people on here who start... just keep writing, and don't have such a negative attitude on what you think others will think when you write or you won't amount to shit. stay up...
- Nash
posted up my "The Other Side" piece... hit that up if ya wanna...