Heaven and Hell.

Driving on this dirt road, trying to make up my mind
Go to hell and live in sins, or go to heaven and leave it all behind
I'm just a man, that's gotta make a hard decision
My mind's tainted, eyes hurting with incripted invision
So lonely, god's looking down on upon my soul
Satan looking up, wanting me for himself, in fire is were i belong
I'm a sinner, my time is coming, time to ask for forgiveness
And go to heaven, and leave sins and clear my mind to just forget it
Or don't ask, go to hell, see my brother and live in misery
Road starts spinning, im going in circle's my mind is dizzy
Gotta make a choice..............Asking for forgiveness from god
My soul leaving my body, broken apart, now i rise to the top
Pearly white gates, on clouds, beautiful sun mist upon a glare
Opening them, most wonderful desires come to me, all i can do is stare
A man in a white suit approaches, asking " Isn't this what you want?"
Speechless, trying to come to my senses, without a thought
"Yes and more", replied but not noticing the decieving look in his eyes
"Too Bad!", He shouts, and with a blink i was shot down from the sky
Sent to hell, i knew it all along, this was my destination from the start
As i hit the ground in hell, the demons immediatly start ripping me apart
The pain, noone can hear my screams, my pleads, for freedom
.
.
.
Suddenly, revived back on earth, as if god said "Free him"
Wicked experiences, only cause by one car crash
Been to Heaven, Hell, and with one breath i came back.



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ly-348784.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ru-354335.html

"I'm a sinner, my time is coming, time to ask for forgiveness
And go to heaven, and leave sins and clear my mind to just forget it
Or don't ask, go to hell, see my brother and live in misery
Road starts spinning, im going in circle's my mind is dizzy"

i really liked dese lines but it was all good dude
8/10

This was a cool Piece, I thought you could've brought more to the table. The flow wasn't all that good, elevate in that element and the word-choices I thought could've been better. The thing that stood out to me barely was the 'word-choices' any way. The Imagery was cool, could've been more detailed and more deph. This lacked emotion considering you're talking about 'heaven and hell', by looking at the title I thought this would be a emotional piece but it seems not. The story-Line was 'ok', there were some errors that really Killed this piece alot. Such as, Why is the character in his car, was he feeling mad, did he do something wrong or you could wrote descriptive words similar to the crash making the imagery more deph and detailed nah mean. All in all, cool piece, just thought this could've been better. Word.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...wd-354269.html

^^ RTF PLZ.

this was a great post........I like how you were in between good potential and bad potential......liked the whole guy in white suit giving you a Choice thing......I'm not really afraid of hell anymore man......I know thats where I'm going if I don't get my soul Saved soon.....before i get too deep...
nice post made me think about the otherside........8/10...
as always I'll be looking for more from ya.

Fav, Shit in this piece:
A man in a white suit approaches, asking " Isn't this what you want?"
Speechless, trying to come to my senses, without a thought
"Yes and more", replied but not noticing the decieving look in his eyes
"Too Bad!", He shouts, and with a blink i was shot down from the sky
Sent to hell, i knew it all along, this was my destination from the start
As i hit the ground in hell, the demons immediatly start ripping me apart
The pain, noone can hear my screams, my pleads, for freedom
.
.
.
Suddenly, revived back on earth, as if god said "Free him"
Wicked experiences, only cause by one car crash
Been to Heaven, Hell, and with one breath i came back.


...hotness

Thanks for the feed.