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stupid tricks
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shoot the bitch in the head she aint goin to heaven
she dont deserve it from all the pain she put me through
she souldnt be alive for makin my life blue
my heart is breakin there aint many beats left
lock the bitch up what she did was common theft
hurtin me so bad tearin my life apart
what we had in the begining was like the perfect start
for(pause) a relationsship to last
fuck it i aint livin in the past
im done with ur stupid ass games u fuckin trick
best believe ur bitch ass is hoppin off this dick
so u say u love me and how sorry u are
bitch u got me tempted to run u over with my car
i cant believe the bullshit and that i put up with this lie
u got me feelin like im the one who should die
i need something deep to ease all this pain
a 5th of crown, a fat as "L" to keep me from goin insane
i wanna say i hate u but it has such strong meaning
not strong enough to make me feel good somethin better like u bleeding
now i know this sounds horrible and it may sound slefish
but houw could it be when u made me feel selfless
i cant take it anymore ima pull this trigger tight
one last thing before i go all i wanna say is goodnight(GUN SHOT SOUND)
leave me some ove and ill get back to u
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^^this was somewhat old but original in a way...nice kinda wordplay was good and so forth i liked ur frequent use on how she would get hurt
lol dunno y
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"she souldnt be alive for makin my life blue " - Wow, pure metaphor. I liked how you used the word Blue like that.
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thats a sick piece. i was feeling the flow, the rhyme and the whole story. you just need to improve structure a hair. good piece though....peace
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Some lines were stretched...vocab was negh..n cussing every other word lost my interest but the concept of this was good. . .keep workin on ur shit, nice drop
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much better than that other shit i jus dropped feedback on.
Did you write that other piece aswell?
Anyway, this one was pretty good man, the structure was better than in the other, nice linking wordplay and the flow was a lot tighter than prev. keep at it bruv...
gud shiz
sb
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Closed, You used the same links as you did for your other open mic. If i see this again you are banned for a week.
