Just Made This Up Today!!!

emotions that I feel are not of happiness or anger
or sadness or pain but I feel like in my body Im a stranger
I feel like I dont belong where ever God Places me
but one day I might find my place I pray hopefully
1 day I might get shown tha light but my eyes will be coverd
with all tha pain that was and tha blood that was smuthored
living a life with out ever looking back to see tha damage I left
not looking upon all tha times every one cried & I should of wept
but I held tha tears and because I got told never show weaknes
even when I knew it was ok to I couldnt drop a tear God help this
Savage living a life on utter distruction and pure chaos
watching my life fly by with tha fine lines that I cross
& I dont expect God to look at me with any pitty
nor tha rivals & who would be my kins in each city
I know tha devil has not fully tooken grasp of me
I know God has given up almost cuz he dosent act as if he loves me
but I ask Can God Love a Gangsta or is that why I get ignoard
I wont give up tha Life I live But I still pray to you my Lord